- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
i know how awful this feeling is. i’ve literally been exactly where you are and it’s terrifying and upsetting. i dealt with this for a very long time and really wanted to give up. all i can say that worked for me is simply accept that you might be trans. the phrase “maybe, maybe not” is the only thing that helped me out of it. it’s been almost a year now and i’ve only had it in little spirts. i promise it will get better eventually.
- Date posted
- 3y
the surgery thing especially
- Date posted
- 3y
The thing is that I am not trans. My ocd tried to tell me I am. I first had SOOCD where my ocd tried to tell me I am heterosexual. And this time it is exactly the same. Deep down I know that I am definitely not trans and that I am homosexual. My ocd tries to tell me I am. I just want to know how to get rid of ocd. My therapist already diagnosed transgender ocd. That means it’s just ocd not the fact that you are really trans. It’s just that at the moment I can’t go to therapy that’s why I ask it here.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Milan.G yeah dude i went through the same thing. i’m not trans but my ocd tried telling me i was and i was in denial. i’m also diagnosed with tocd. i was just suggesting the “maybe, maybe not method” because it worked for me. not rationalizing my ocd thoughts and simply letting them happen and not fighting them is what eventually led to me overcoming my tocd
- Date posted
- 3y
@nicklepickle i just don’t see lots of people on here with tocd and i know how awful it can be, so i like to try and help as best as i can because i hate to think anyone else has to go through what i went through
- Date posted
- 3y
@nicklepickle Oh sorry I misunderstood this. Thank you for the suggestion. I will try that. My ocd gets very fast very obsessed and at the end of the obsession it will make we sometimes actually belive the things. For example with SOOCD when it was at its worst my ocd convinced me I am actually into men. I don’t have SOOCD anymore and I have never thought about if I like men or not anymore. I am just scared that if I let my ocd do it’s thing it will convince me I am trans and I get the surgeries. And when the ocd is gone (I usually don’t have an ocd longer than 2 years than it switches to a new theme) I will completely regret this surgery and it’s irreversible. Even now I don’t want the surgery. That proofs me that I am not trans because my trans friends want nothing more than that. But my ocd still tries to tell me I am trans...
- Date posted
- 3y
@nicklepickle I am sorry you went through this... And thank you so much for your help :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 19w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
- Date posted
- 18w
Struggling with TOCD has probably been the hardest theme I’ve had to deal with so far For reference. I’m a gay male 20yr old Before this theme I was so open with my gender expression, love drag and used to do it for a time. A lot of my friends are trans women and my whole life is queer When this theme hit. It’s like I completely lost who I was. Questioning everything I enjoyed, not participating in anything because it triggered me so heavily. I went through a whole gender journey awhile back and the trans path never spoke to me when I looked into it. I love my physique and my face but now when I look into the mirror i feel like a shell of who I was. I can’t find any sort of pure enjoyment without the accompanying “what if” or “you’re this” intrusive thought I still enjoy how I look. I’ve not looked in the mirror and felt like anything is missing from me or needs to be taken away I just feel like a spectator in my life while this disease tells me I’m not who I know myself to be I affirm myself every day I know who I am and it may change in the future but that’s not important. It’s highly unlikely it will but it may! Giving into the uncertainty has been so hard but it’s worth it! My ocd has really picked up since getting into my first serious relationship I care about my boyfriend with my whole heart but over the course of our relationship my themes have included Health Relationship Irreality Harm I just want to be who I was again before this current theme it feels unbearable to live like this BUT! I’m seeking appropriate treatment and not giving into a majority of compulsions I just wanted to write this to see if anyone can relate and if they do. Know that you will overcome this! I know I will and you will too
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