- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel for you!! I was absolutely terrified since the beginning of the pandemic, and only a couple months ago I started feeling more at ease. I went so long without seeing friends and I’ve been home all the time.. the loneliness has been hard too. My therapist helped me use some ERP for my COVID fears since my OCD got hooked on all these scary thoughts — my family dying, me dying, me getting others sick, etc. It’s the same idea as every obsession.. you need to accept that these fears are possible. That was my exposure — just saying maybe it will happen and sitting with that anxiety that came with it. The compulsions were tricker though because I couldn’t tell how much disinfecting and washing was excessive. That one requires some judgement — follow the guidelines and learn to recognize when my ocd is acting up and pushing for more disinfecting AFTER I followed all the protocols. Anyway, using ERP for that helped me not be preoccupied with that fear like I was before. The vaccine also helped me feel safer. Though these new variants and the potentially waning protection of the vaccine are concerning for me as well. the fears aren’t non existent. Thinking about them is still scary and uncomfortable. But I’m not preoccupied with them and it’s not taking over my life like it used to. I hope it gets better for you and I also hope the COVID situation eases up in your area. Also, friendly reminder that nothing lasts forever, this pandemic and these feelings will all pass. However I’m also wondering when and praying it’s soon 😅
- Date posted
- 3y
Thankyou for sharing all of that with me, it’s comforting to know people get it, and how easy it can be for new fears to quickly develop into obsessions and than compulsions. I have so much trouble right now staying positive when I’m stuck at home, especially cause where I live in Canada our covid rates are now the highest they’ve ever been, and the death count is rapidly growing. I had a taste of freedom for a few months and now I’m back to feeling so isolated and left to just think and obsess over everything, not just covid. Anyway, I was happy to see your name responding to my post cause a while ago I saw you post something that I could really resonate with, and than I checked your profile and noticed we seemed to have a lot in common and you seemed so nice and I wanted to get to know you but y’know it’s kinda hard since you can’t message people on here 😅
- Date posted
- 3y
@Uphamia That’s so nice of you to say! Thank you so much 💖 I’m really happy to hear that some of the things I say resonate with others 😊 and I totally empathize with what you’re going through too. I would love to talk, I’ve used Instagram for messaging before. I use my alternate ig account @krisblisssss and you can message me there anytime you’d like! Or we can talk on another platform if that works better. You seem awesome too and I love meeting new people in this community :)
- Date posted
- 3y
@krisbliss Instagram works for me! I go by a fake name on here for privacy so I followed you but my name will be different ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
@Uphamia Okay great 🥰 I accepted and followed back on a request I got and I think it’s you!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I have been so anxious for the entire pandemic and reading this really helped me. I keep justifying the compulsions and safety behaviours, telling myself that they are whats keeping me safe from covid but it’s gotten to a point that i sometimes avoid touching my husband out of fear of catching covid. I’m always worried he’s going to bring it home. I was starting to do better but then this new variant came and I feel like I’m back at the start of the pandemic. I’m just so exhausted. I also live in Canada and everyone just wants life to go back to normal but I want the lockdowns and I want restrictions so the numbers will go down. I don’t know how to accept the uncertainty of catching covid and feel like I don’t have to but then I am depressed and not living at all. It’s been so hard but reading this discussion helped me realize I’m not alone. Thanks for that!
- Date posted
- 3y
@K.Cloud I’m so glad our convo could bring you some comfort ❤️ I totally understand what you’re going through and I know it must be difficult. It’s definitely hard to find that balance between following protocols and not letting ocd take over. If you ever want to have more convos about this topic im all ears! I hope you’re doing alright and I know you’re strong and can do the work to feel better!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I don’t even know where to start because there’s so much going on in my head and it feels like there’s so much evidence for every thought. Like my ocd feels like it doesn’t just have one specific theme it’s honestly every theme and it just switches throughout the day depending on the thoughts I have. This started all about a month ago, this whole ocd flare up. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd for about 3 years now and looking back on my childhood, I feel like I’ve had it for probably my entire life. My grandpa just recently died back in February and I feel like this whole ocd spiral is a result of dealing with grief especially because it didn’t even hit me for the whole month of April for some reason and things felt “normal”. But since this ocd flare up has started I’ve been constantly reviewing and revisiting my past, all my childhood memories and so many of them are terrifying which is weird because I never had a traumatic event hppen to me as a child. I feel like it’s always been “self-inflicted” trauma if that makes sense? My mind is telling me so many things related to so many topics like maybe I liked my family member as a kid and have just hid it to fit in with society? That my anxiety as a kid has caught up with me and I’m turning into a psychopath? That I’ve always been a creep and enjoyed looking at peoples privates or chests, etc but just ignored or allowed the thought this whole time. Also before this whole flare up I remember always feeling on autopilot and not really alive like everything I did I just felt numb about it. Which aids my ocd to tell me that these feelings are real and the thoughts are true and that I’m “waking up” or realizing or something. I haven’t felt such intense anxiety and distress since I was a kid and I didn’t even understand my own thoughts. It’s like I’m either hyper aware or totally unaware of what’s going on around me and it gets me thinking about my existence, personality, what my role in life is and like genuinely what I’m even doing in the moment like what’s the reason behind everything. I’m constantly questioning my intentions because I don’t know if they’re true or not and it’s like my ocd doesn’t even allow me to consider the thought it just jumps to conclusion. Like telling me I’m guilty before proven innocent. It honestly feels like so much at once to even simply call it ocd or anxiety because it feels like a crisis and any moment I could spiral and breakdown completely. Going to school everyday feeling like anytbing could trigger a panic attack at any moment makes me feel like I can’t be left alone with my thoughts. And like overall since I got down this rabbit hole, my first obsession was harm to myself, then it was harm to others specifically my family, then it was being a pervert or pedo, or being attracted or someone or something I shouldn’t be, which then makes me question my existence and who I am along with also being hyper aware of my facial movements like my eyebrows, nose, etc. Like why does ocd have to involve itself in every aspect of my life? It feels like there’s always something wrong that I need to fix.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi guys! I had really bad harm ocd about 2 years ago and I went through therapy and eventually got really good at handling it when it would pop up. The other day, I was scrolling on TikTok and came across a girl talking about a guy who was presenting a lot of schizophrenic symptoms but no one paid attention and got him help, he was having a lot of delusions, hallucinating, thinking everyone was out to get him, thought he was Jesus and his dad was the president and ended up doing horrific things. The day after that, I was dealing with some work drama and had the thought of “what if all my coworkers are against me and trying to get me fired”. That really stressed me out, cause I don’t normally think about them like that and I went down a rabbit hole of thinking that was the beginning of me developing schizophrenia, ended up googling stuff all night, taking tests, crying and seeking reassurance. I had a thought the other day “your dad is the president”, this one didn’t stress me out as bad as I knew it was just the video I had seen and it was an intrusive thought about it, and I also didn’t believe it. Today I was with some friends and I got a prize at a place we went and it said “lonely” on it. I do have my moments of feeling lonely and this week has been specifically trying so I had a thought like “oh someone’s out to get me cause I got this”. I know this isn’t logical and it wouldn’t make sense to just randomly get it if someone was truly after me and it was just a stupid prize at a random place, anyone could’ve gotten it. Im just struggling a lot with schizophrenic OCD and thinking I’m in the pre stages of it. In my good moments, I don’t think I am at all and it was all just sparked from the video I watched but in my bad moments, these thoughts feel real!! They really stress me out and make me feel like I’m going to lose my mind causing me to lose my job/ end up in a psych hospital/ never live a normal life/ end up alone, never see me my loved ones/ hurt my loved ones. I just want to feel normal and not like I’m about to lose my mind and everything I care about. Please help!!! Anyone else going through something similar and can help me get through this!
- Date posted
- 8w
I am so incredibly tired of living life in fear. I’m in constant fear that I’m going to have a heart attack or stroke. I’m hyper aware of every sensation in my body and I’m in constant fight or flight. I’m exhausted and I just want to be normal. I received a Covid vaccine Saturday because im afraid of getting Covid but now I’m worried about the vaccine making me sick. I know it won’t I’ve had them before but my mind is just in obsessive mode. I want a good nights rest but now I’m crying and scared because I don’t feel good. I’m just so sick of life being so hard. I want to enjoy it. But then I spiral and I’m crying because I’m worried about being alone in life. Thankfully I have my mom now but I worry about the future. I’ve tried erp twice here and just can’t feel like it’s helping. I’m working with a therapist now and we are doing DBT plus starting erp. I’m nervous it won’t work again. I’m doomed to feel this way the rest of my life. It’s been almost 2 years of this constant fear, worry, and spiral. And when it’s not the health anxiety it’s awful intrusive thoughts that make me feel like a monster.
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