Help :( so the last place I lived a left in a HUGE GROSS mess ( I was so scared of germs I just stopped cleaning or moving about in my flat it was awful and scary ) . When I moved out my dad had to spend 5 days cleaning it out and he was absolutely furious bc I didn’t help out of fear of the dirt. I’ve apologised to him and he doesn’t stop going on about how “ horrific and unbearable it was for him “ even though I offered to pay for a cleaner to do it . He keeps saying how I’m untrustworthy and awful person and he comes round to my new place and inspects in all the time . I feel heartbroken how he doesn’t realise how ill I am and I rlly didn’t mean for it to happen. I feel so misunderstood and he just keeps insulting me . Now both my parents hate me for the things ocd makes me do/avoid. I’m at a loss :(

I never heard about people with OCD who have messy living conditions. Maybe this is why it took so long to accept my diagnosis. Although I really dont like how OCD is percieved at by the majority of people, I feel like Im weird or something because I dont fit into that stereotype. I understand that a lot of people with OCD have this issue, but why do I feel so different? If anybody else has/had this belief, what helps with feeling more comfortable? Everytime my mom points out my room, and how its messy- Its like I feel so lazy and useless. So then I often plan out everything I was going to do, step by step, always having a reasoning behind everything, because logic always comforts me. When I start tidying up my room, I go full out (Sheets, Laundry, Clorox, Candles, Vaccuming, Then I start going through the guinea pigs cage to rearranging all of their stuff) Yet always somewhere after doing a few things, I start feeling disgusting and almost shameful of myself. 99% of the time I end up laying on my floor sobbing, noting every little thing about my room. How my furiniture doesnt match, how i would rather have solid floor like hardwood or vinyl instead of the carpet, usually things i cant change… and then barely anything gets done in my room. I start to have a meltdown and often dont take care of myself even more afterwards. A piece of me feels like my thoughts are just me being a spoiled brat and wanting everything i dont have- meanwhile others dont even have a roof over their head. The other piece of me is just tired, just emotionally exaughsted. Please comment any thoughts or recomendations to maybe improve motovation and attitude towards doing long tasks.

Yesterday I had a panic attack from OCD fears. I live alone, so in my panic I called my mum just to get some emotional support. It did not go well. I was asking for reassurnce to much and basically she got annoyed with me and started to chastise me. She said I was being ridiculous and accused me of just making up my symptoms to emotionally manipulate her. She even went as far as threatening to call the police on me to have me sectioned. I feel so humiliated. I know that I can be annoying during my panic attacks, and that my OCD puts a massive toll on my familiy. But I don't want to manipulate people. Now, I feel like an abuser. In these moments, seeing how much my weakness makes my family suffer makes me just want to not be here anymore.

Okay so my parents don't really handle my ocd that well. For starters my contamination is getting worse (I'm 14) and keep exisivly washing my hands, or using toilet roll which is unfortunately really common. Now they are getting angry at me for using too much toilet roll... What do I do? There saying I'm ruining there lifes because of my ocd. I'm making there lifes miserable. And they don't COMMUNICATE or sit down with me and look me in the eyes and try sort it out WITH ME. they just go "STOP USING SO, MUCH TOILET ROLL" "you've broke another headset" "WE ARE ALLOWED TO BE PISSED AT YOU" and I'm getting self harm urges because there making me out to be such a bad person. Which obviously doesn't mix well with ocd.