Help :( so the last place I lived a left in a HUGE GROSS mess ( I was so scared of germs I just stopped cleaning or moving about in my flat it was awful and scary ) . When I moved out my dad had to spend 5 days cleaning it out and he was absolutely furious bc I didn’t help out of fear of the dirt. I’ve apologised to him and he doesn’t stop going on about how “ horrific and unbearable it was for him “ even though I offered to pay for a cleaner to do it . He keeps saying how I’m untrustworthy and awful person and he comes round to my new place and inspects in all the time . I feel heartbroken how he doesn’t realise how ill I am and I rlly didn’t mean for it to happen. I feel so misunderstood and he just keeps insulting me . Now both my parents hate me for the things ocd makes me do/avoid. I’m at a loss :(

Okay so my parents don't really handle my ocd that well. For starters my contamination is getting worse (I'm 14) and keep exisivly washing my hands, or using toilet roll which is unfortunately really common. Now they are getting angry at me for using too much toilet roll... What do I do? There saying I'm ruining there lifes because of my ocd. I'm making there lifes miserable. And they don't COMMUNICATE or sit down with me and look me in the eyes and try sort it out WITH ME. they just go "STOP USING SO, MUCH TOILET ROLL" "you've broke another headset" "WE ARE ALLOWED TO BE PISSED AT YOU" and I'm getting self harm urges because there making me out to be such a bad person. Which obviously doesn't mix well with ocd.

Also Im sorry for posting so much about this type of stuff I’m just genuinely terrified and don’t know what to do Ok so last night I (16M) made a mistake of watching some stuff and had a physical reaction and I have a huge fear of bodily fluids and them infecting things and getting people infected because I think that would basically be a crime and of course I was in bed when this happened and worse part is I was on my bare mattress since I washed my covers a week ago and didn’t put them onto my bed yet but they were sitting on my bed if that makes sense and so I decide to shower change clothes spray the part I was laying down on with Lysol and also my chair and I feel asleep thinking I would clean it my room in the morning and also use my deep cleaning rug machine in the other room because I was scared thay room was also infected. So I wake up and my mind is ringing with fear telling me everything is filthy and what really scared me the most was my little brother and I used to share a room and so he had like a pile of his clean clothes on his bed which was by my bed but separated by a dresser and our room is small my chair is in the middle of our two bed and so I was scared that his clothes are now infected and I was panicking so I decided to just get up start cleaning up in the other room in order to clean the rug and I also swept the floor so I could mop later and of course chaos ensued the machine to clean the rug wasn’t working for a good hour before I got it working and then I cleaned the rug and then finished sweeping and I was going to mop before of course I made the same mistake I did last night and now my brain things everything is infected again so I quickly go shower spray the shower with Clorox foam and Lysol on the shower handle and head and I was going to wash it all off later after it sat for a bit but and I sprayed the floor with some Clorox foam just incase someone went in there before I mopped the bathroom floor and wiped it up with a towel I start preparing the mop and yep of course something else happens the pipe in the bathroom I just showered on frayed and water was pouring everywhere I told my dad he stopped it and of course I had to take everything out of the cabinet put it on the bathroom counter but my dad out some stuff in the shower and of course I’m grossed out because I didn’t rinse the Clorox out of it so to me that stuff got dirty and my dad can’t fix the sink until tomorrow so everything in there is sitting in limbo and my dad also used the mop I was gonna use to mop the house to get the water up that was covering the bathroom floor. But I mopped anyway cleaned the floor in my room and the bathroom along with what I could get in the house. Afterwards I start cleaning my room more wiping down the chair with a Lysol wipe and the dresser separating out bed I started throwing slot of stuff away like cards, coins, mail it was cluttered anyway and I tired wiping everything down to clean it the dresser the tv controllers my phone and iPad stuff like that I put some of my coins in a back I out back onto my dresser after wiping them with a Lysol wipe or ATLEAST trying and I threw some of my brothers clothes into the laundry room because I was scared it was infected I moved some stuff out of my room because I’m honestly scared to go back in there because I don’t want to get dirty again. So now I’m lying in a different room typing this terrified I forgot to clean something which would put someone at risk and thinking of how I need to go back in my room to wash my bed covers and clean my mattress but I’m so stressed I have a headache and my laptop is broken I think so another thing on my plate and I’m spiraling and have no idea what to do

Everything is filthy and it’s because of me. So I’ve(16m)been kind of getting better at handling my cocd but recently I was in bed and had a ‘physical reaction’ I won’t delve deeper into that and my fear revolves around bodily fluids so this is obviously something that would trigger it but I tried to just sit with it and just told myself ‘ok I’ll just washed my covers then’ and I take the covers off and to my horror my mattress is discolored and idk why I use a protector on it but I guess only a few years ago. There’s like discoloration on the top and yellow discoloration on the side and the side that touches the wall has black discoloration and I’m just so disgusted. But I go wash my covers and then my mind just wanders to the fact that my little cousins are coming over for my brothers birthday and I panicked I need to clean and that’s when what happened earlier really bothers me I basically just turned my room into a biohazard I look and my mattress is like touching 2 things those things are infected now according to my brain and I panick now the whole room is dangerous my dirty clothes that fell on the floor now the floor is ruined. So Im now slowly cleaning over the past few days and its not helping im just freaking out more and on top of my room the bathroom is dirty and idk how to clean it I mean IM guess im scared i won’t clean good enough because im the only one who will clean it even though 2 other people use it and dont clean it its dirty and it irks me so bad every time i use the shower I spray it with bleach and the floor around the shower but the bathroom counter is dirty and I need to clean it but idk if it’ll be enough. And I need to mop but every time i mop my feet still get dirty from just walking on the floor so i must be doing something right. Idk what to do im panicking everything is dirty idk what to do I need advice.