- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
That sounds terrible. <3 Learning to manage OCD is a long and difficult process, and emotional support is important. It's possible that your parents may simply be extremely worried about you, (anxiety sometimes expresses itself as frustration/anger); still, their actions strike me as surprisingly cruel, especially given what you are struggling with. I'd like to preface this following word of advice by mentioning that I'm not a psychologist - take everything I say with a grain of salt, and if you are able, speak with a therapist about the best course of action. So, the way I see it, there are multiple moving parts here - OCD and your parents. You need to keep working on managing OCD, not for your parents, but for yourself. This means cleaning your home and not letting OCD affect your living conditions for your own sake - if it spirals out of control again like it did before, you need to contact someone for help and not continue to live in an unhealthy environment. With regards to your parents, I would try to communicate and understand their reasoning before doing anything else - they might have good intentions/feel really worried about you and have an unhelpful way of showing it. However, if they continue to refuse to listen or try to understand how their actions have affected you, then you are well within your rights as a grown adult to remove yourself from situations involving them. I know that sounds kind of extreme, but if they're really not listening and this is contributing to depression, it may be a course of action worth considering, at least for a little while. Whatever you decide, I hope that you're able to get through this okay and find a way forward. <3
- Date posted
- 3y
I know you said that you tried therapy and it didn't work. What type of therapy? Traditional talk therapy does NOT work for OCD. Have you tried doing ERP?
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah for 2 years :( it’s not that it didn’t work , it’s I’m too scared to start and I’m still that way
- Date posted
- 3y
@Eve ERP is definitely scary. But the benefits are SO worth it. What is it about ERP that scares you? That you won't be able to handle the anxiety?
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm so sorry, this sounds so terrible to be treated this way. Do uou gave OCD diagnosis? Don't they know? Are you in treatment? Once upon a time I was in a similar situation with the landlord, I felt so ashamed. I hope you'll get treatment and support, you are worthy of understanding and support from people who care.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah been diagnosed for years and everyone knew I have had therapy . The landlord seeing it was so embarrassing. I keep having flashbacks and nightmares about it. I had to pay £800 for the damage . I understand but paying bc of an illness is frustrating. I’ve had depression throughout my teenage life but now at 20 I feel so depressed and useless . I’ve lost everyone’s trust again and they don’t even understand why . I wish someone would come help me bc I can’t do it myself anymore . I’m crying out but I’m just getting into more shit
- Date posted
- 3y
I think you really need to talk about your contamintion ocd and about all different types of ocd how much fear disstress it causes how your day to day half is struggle . Beacause people who dont have ocd will never know the real struggle of who have one.
- Date posted
- 3y
* with your parents.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve tried . Multiple times . They understand to a degree but they think that I’m suddenly better now that I’m in a new place . I’m not and I’m finding it incredibly different to keep on top of things to avoid my angry father . I just feel like I don’t wanna live this life at all . It’s just pure pain and I’ve been waiting a decade for things to get better . It’s just worse and worse and I’d rather just be not here tbh
- Date posted
- 3y
Your parents do not hate you! So don’t say that! If they don’t know you have ocd then it’s understandable how your father reacted. I know it’s difficult but you need to inform them of your OCDif not already.
- Date posted
- 3y
I have :( they don’t get it . They think I’m lazy . I can cope anymore
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m sorry. Maybe try to have a talk with them. They love you and I’m sure they will understand.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
(long read ahead, sorry lol) I’ve struggled with ocd for as far back as I can remember. I find that it gets worse with stress, and recently I’ve really been struggling with the contamination aspect of my ocd. I’m worried about it becoming unmanageable and negatively affecting my relationship with my partner. I’ve been living with my boyfriend since January (got kicked out of my house a week after I turned 18, it’s for the better though my house is toxic as hell) and I love living with him, but him and his family aren’t as concerned with cleaning as I am used to. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 2 years and there’s been many times throughout our relationship that his struggle with depression severely impacted his ability to keep up with cleaning his room. This is something I completely understand because I’ve struggled with it too so i’ve often helped him clean, and since i’ve moved in he’s done so much better at keeping up with cleaning (especially because he knows about my issues with clutter, mess, germs, etc.) He is really good at being accommodating towards my needs (not overly so, i’m aware that recovering includes accepting being uncomfortable), but it’s so hard for me to differentiate between what is the normal standard for cleanliness and hygiene and what’s excessive and unhealthy. I get so stressed out every single day over the thought of how dirty everything is. He has 3 cats that mainly stay in his room (he has a catio attached to his window/side of the house) and dogs which stay on the opposite side of the house and backyard, so there is fur everywhere constantly (i’m also allergic to cats but it’s not severe). I can’t stop thinking about how they are getting germs from their litter box all over everything. They also used to piss under his bed and in his closet when his room used to be a mess and it’s soaked into the floor so no matter what it stinks. It’s so hard to bring myself to walk around the house without slippers because my feet will get visibly dirty and my socks would get covered in hair. I always think about how my boyfriend sometimes walks on the rugs in the bathroom in shoes and all the germs that spreads. There’s so many more things but this is already getting long and I am shaking just thinking about how unclean everything is. I want to deep clean the entire house myself so I can get it to where It’s not like psychological torture everyday and it’s easier to maintain but I have been so busy I don’t have the time. I am worried about my boyfriend thinking I don’t like living with him or that I think that’s he’s dirty but i don’t. We have had several conversations about this and he’s reassured me that he knows none of my obsessive thoughts are personal but I still feel so bad about it. I would like to get therapy to help work through this but currently that is not an option for me. I know things will get better once I get through the main things in my life that are causing a lot of stress and therefore making my ocd flair up, but I need advice on what to do in the mean time. I keep having moments where all I can do is shake and cry and clean and I feel bad for my poor boyfriend who can only sit next to me and try to comfort me or help me clean. I also don’t want to make him worried that nothing he does is enough for me (i’ve also already talked to him about this and told him about how I can never even be clean enough for myself and that I don’t think he’s dirty). There’s been many times where I want to tell him to do things that I think might be my own unhealthy compulsions (ex. not wearing shoes in the house or in our room, not getting into bed with socks on, making sure to completely dry off before getting out the shower, put makeup and jewelry back where they belong right after using them, etc.) but i can’t tell if they’re reasonable or not and i try to not tell him unless it’s something that severely distresses me. I’m aware that everything is going to have germs no matter what and have been using NER’s to help manage my thought spirals/rumination. I know that I shouldn’t keep doing compulsions because it just offers temporary relief and makes the problem worse because nothing will ever be enough. I just feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless and exhausted and want some feedback.
- Date posted
- 21w
I never heard about people with OCD who have messy living conditions. Maybe this is why it took so long to accept my diagnosis. Although I really dont like how OCD is percieved at by the majority of people, I feel like Im weird or something because I dont fit into that stereotype. I understand that a lot of people with OCD have this issue, but why do I feel so different? If anybody else has/had this belief, what helps with feeling more comfortable? Everytime my mom points out my room, and how its messy- Its like I feel so lazy and useless. So then I often plan out everything I was going to do, step by step, always having a reasoning behind everything, because logic always comforts me. When I start tidying up my room, I go full out (Sheets, Laundry, Clorox, Candles, Vaccuming, Then I start going through the guinea pigs cage to rearranging all of their stuff) Yet always somewhere after doing a few things, I start feeling disgusting and almost shameful of myself. 99% of the time I end up laying on my floor sobbing, noting every little thing about my room. How my furiniture doesnt match, how i would rather have solid floor like hardwood or vinyl instead of the carpet, usually things i cant change… and then barely anything gets done in my room. I start to have a meltdown and often dont take care of myself even more afterwards. A piece of me feels like my thoughts are just me being a spoiled brat and wanting everything i dont have- meanwhile others dont even have a roof over their head. The other piece of me is just tired, just emotionally exaughsted. Please comment any thoughts or recomendations to maybe improve motovation and attitude towards doing long tasks.
- Date posted
- 21w
Yesterday I had a panic attack from OCD fears. I live alone, so in my panic I called my mum just to get some emotional support. It did not go well. I was asking for reassurnce to much and basically she got annoyed with me and started to chastise me. She said I was being ridiculous and accused me of just making up my symptoms to emotionally manipulate her. She even went as far as threatening to call the police on me to have me sectioned. I feel so humiliated. I know that I can be annoying during my panic attacks, and that my OCD puts a massive toll on my familiy. But I don't want to manipulate people. Now, I feel like an abuser. In these moments, seeing how much my weakness makes my family suffer makes me just want to not be here anymore.
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