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Anonymously

Date posted: 4y

really scared i might be a narcissist after watching this video about narcissism and how narcissists in childhood had parents that did high praise and high abuse and so all they know for love is praise and they can either cling onto the messaging that they were a piece of shit and die by age 40 by suicide and drug overdose (according to the guy in the video) or they cling on to the praise they got and think they are above other people and only are after praise and thats why a lot of them are charming and funny because they know how to read people give them what they want to get that supply and like i relate to being addicted to making other people like me... but not in order to take advantage of them... its more because im desperate to feel good about myself...i never thought about it as being for praise but like yeah my job growing up in the family i felt was to make my dad laugh it made me feel special and also sometimes it meant he would not become explosive and scary and so now most of my relationships are based on me making people love me by being "on" but to be clear its a reflex im not like plotting or planning but its definitely effort but like effort of talking too much and telling too many stories to make me feel calm because people are laughing so everything is good but still its a stream of thoughts like verbal diarrhea that i cant stop but like i feel exhausted after social interactions because of it and im afraid of being vulnerable and i mean ive never intentionally hurt a friend but i mean when a friend has been mad at me i have withdrawn and hid and sometimes people say narcissists withdraw as a form of hurting others and i do sometimes i just get so mad and dont know how to deal with it that i just shut down and i do silent treatment because its the only way i know how to express im mad at someone i mean dont get me wrong i have screamed and yelled before but i try to keep that to a minimum and really have only shown that ugly side to my family because i dont want to lose people if they saw my shitty anger and so like fuck i really dont want to be a narcissist but honestly i love making strangers laugh getting attention and people think im charming im not trying to toot my own horn like " ugh im so awesome therefor i must be a narcissist " like i just know these are things people have told me and ive never had romantic relationships like i only like flirting and getting that attention but i get scared of any real interest any real connection or intimacy and i mean my sister is pretty sure my dads a narcissist im pretty sure she was the scapegoat child and i was one who got more praise and i just dont want to be that i dont want to be someone who thinks of people as supply i dont think i do but i also know i have unhealthy connections i always thought of myself as more codependent like my mother but idk maybe im just obsessing over finding a label for every pattern of behavior i have and need to calm down but it seems like NPD and BPD have become huge trends online in the past 10 years so many diagnostic videos of how to know if youre around someone like that and i used to think my ex best friend was a narc and i was codependent but what if its the other way around? and why are these personality disorders something everyone online talks about now? like not just reddit or quora but youtube and twitter so often someone will talk about an ex bf and someone will say sounds like he was npd and they never even met the person like everyone not just people with ocd are like compulsively labeling people with mental health disorders that they dont seem 100% qualified to make especially fake dr. phil internet doctors i mean maybe im just saying this because i dont want this guys video to be right because that description of an NPD person's childhood resonated with me so much but i mean thats what my brain does its latches onto the one symptom of shit like this and then im convinced i have the personality disorder ... how do i know if its an ocd spiral or something to worry about for real? isnt a good sign that you arent npd if you dont want to be or is that bullshit too?

Elle <3

Date posted: 4y

It’s hard to tell wether it’s ocd or not. The best way to deal with it is probably through therapy. However, there are some things you could think about, like - do you think you are obsessing over the possibility of you being a narcissist? As in, does it follow the same pattern as the obsessions you already know to be ocd related? If the answer to those questions is yes then you should treat it as you treat the rest of your ocd. If the answer is no, you should know that having narcissistic behaviours does not make you bad. No one is perfect and wanting other people to like you is something human - everyone feels like that a bit. Also, having had a childhood that coincides with that of narcissists does not mean you are one yourself. You can’t put people in a box like that. Of course, there are some behaviours which are more common in certain types of people but that does not necessarily mean all of the people of this type have this behaviour nor that all people that have this behaviour are of this type. Just try to calm yourself down and take it easy. If you catch yourself doing some of the things you just described, just try to think to yourself “is this the right thing to do?” - if you think it is not, try your best not to do it while bearing in mind it is ok if you don’t secceed because real change is tough to achieve. I hope this comment helped you a little. And again, as always, the best thing you could seek out is therapy. Hope you feel better soon x

grass

Date posted: 4y

It seems like to that if you are WORRIED you are a narcissist, you probably really just sre not one. A person with really intense narcissistic traits could give a fuck less about fucking people over.

Anonymously

Date posted: 4y

i really appreciate your comment thanks so much for just idk i needed someone to speak rationally to me without giving me reassurance one way or the other and you did just that thank you 🙏

mari01

Date posted: 4y

Are we the same person😳

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