Scared this will be me with my trans OCD (it it‘s OCD)
I really think that it is true what a person said on this page who thought she is trans but turned out to be not. She said, if you are trans you are since childhood and you do not even know as a child that you are actually a girl. You would think the whole time you are a boy and would be confused one day that you are not. If you identified as a girl in childhood (or even later) you would not be trans and it is something else. There is a thing named bi-gender but I guess you would also feel that since childhood.
@Bimmi Thank you .
If you are indeed gay, I think it is brave of you admit it and know there is nothing wrong with that. God made you as you are and I have many gay friends who are the nicest people in the world. God luck when you come out to your friends and remember if they don't accept you, accept yourself.