I need to say this once again, don't do your compulsions. Letting go of my compulsions certainly opened a door to long term relief. I used to grab onto any compulsions I could, let it be google searching, ruminating or seeking reassurance. Recently, I've been doing my best in resisting my urges, and the upsides are extraordinary. Though I would fail to resist once in a while, one fail doesn't indicate complete failure. This is a long journey, I don't have to worry about small mistakes. Recently, my thoughts have been about harming myself to _____, but hey, it doesn't matter. Today, I was triggered by a tiktok I'be stumbled upon, but I was ruminating way less than previous episodes. Nowadays, I never google search or seek reassurance from others. Though it's hard to let go of rumination, progress is progress and I'm doing great 👍 Compulsions are the reason your OCD is alive, by letting go of them, you are opening the door to immense relief, for the long term. It may not be full recovery for me, but I can still carry on day-to-day chores and live my life! ❤️ Easier said than done, but it doesn't have to all happen overnight. Keep trying, resist your compulsions until the urge subsides, then you'll realise that you don't need compulsions, you are fine on your own.

I’m having a big OCD relapse and would like to hear anyone’s tips on how to be present and healthily deal with these intrusive thoughts and the “need” to preform compulsions. Thank you!!

Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?

I want to beat OCD because I have seen and felt the benefits of clearing my brain from unnecessary, pointless, thoughts. OCD is like 0 calorie food. It’s pointless. No nutrition or benefits come from my obsessions or compulsions. I don’t care to have answers to everything anymore. I catch myself just trying to stress myself out so that I have some worry to feed on. But like I said, it’s a 0 calorie food. I get nothing from it but wasted time and energy. My brain feels more spacious when I’m not consumed by OCD. I’m present. My personality has room to be herself without making space for bullshit. I tell myself now that worry is poison. I think Willie Nelson was the person I got that quote from? Anyways, that imagery of worries being poison for the mind has been transformative for me. I’m evolving. 💖 Thanks NOCD community.