- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I have this feeling a lot too, it’s hard because even though he’s going through something, OCD always pushes us to act impulsively, you’re not a bad person, you just need to try and seek professional help for your OCD
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey , I wouldn’t over react to the situation because it’s going to heighten your anxiety . I’m hoping that you are able to sit down with him and explain to severity of your OCD because that would be helpful . I believe he’ll have some understanding in regards to your situation especially if he really likes/loves you . Now that you know confessing in this manner can be a compulsion , you’re able to make better decisions moving forward . The hardest part about OCD is giving in to our compulsions . It’s so much easier said than done . You telling him something about the past could have been important to discuss because it involved your relationship . Be proud of yourself for discussing the manner and showing honesty regardless of how old the situation is . Try to look at the bright side of this . When you feel anxious and you start spiraling take a deep breath , fix your focus and come back to the situation . Sometimes , it’s good to get some time away from the situations so that you can make better judgment. Don’t give in to every compulsion as it is very unhealthy. As you do counseling , you’ll be able to distinguish the compulsion and channel your focus . I hope that all is well with your relationship. Don’t over react to it . Take a breather and allow yourself some grace .
- Date posted
- 3y
This was a very kind and helpful response I appreciate it. Now I’m just anxious I’m going to ruin everything lol. I do want to sit down with him and talk about the severity of it, I’ve told him other stuff that I think relates to my ocd/ just my trauma and stuff but I even found an article that helps explain confessing as a compulsion so I’d like to show him. I just feel terrible for acting out irrationally and telling him this instead of focusing thag energy on making sure he was okay after sometning horrible happened, it makes me feel like a bad girlfriend even though I care so much I didn’t show it in the right way. I hope he can forgive me. I’ve recently started going to therapy again and I have a dr appointment to maybe take medication so perhaps it will help. I’m making an effort but I feel like I should do more? Idk I do need to take a breath and not give into my compulsions when the anxiety arise and wait to see if it’s really something worth bringing up. I’m also fearful that this behavior is just toxic and abusive and I never wanna do that :( ugh but thank you a lot
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s not intentional . You weren’t trying to dismiss his issue and just bombard him with your own issue . When your anxiety is heighten , we tend to just give immediately into our compulsion . Give your self some slack . Hopefully he understands . Don’t worry
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Hi. I am going through something really hard right now, and I could use some insight, especially from others who deal with OCD and morality-based spirals. There was a time during a really emotional conversation with my boyfriend when he said something incredibly painful. He said something like he only felt lust for me but did not feel love anymore. I was completely crushed. It felt like everything I believed about our relationship was ripped out from under me. In that moment, I told him that what he said felt like rape. I want to be really clear. I knew even then that it was not a good or accurate comparison. It was not assault. I was trying to express how emotionally violated and broken I felt, and that word came out. I even labeled it directly, not just compared it, and that is what has been haunting me. I feel like I kept going along with it, not because I wanted to lie or manipulate, but because I felt like if I backed down from it, he would not understand the depth of how hurt I was. He didn’t seem to understand any other way. Later, when we tried to be intimate again, I told him not to touch me. And even though a part of me did want closeness, I still felt like I had to react that way, like I had to follow through with what I had said earlier. I wanted so bad for him to understand the impact of his words. That part is killing me. It makes me feel like I was not being authentic, that I was performing a reaction instead of living it. I feel like I acted like a survivor when I was not one, and I hate myself for that. Now, OCD is eating me alive over it. It keeps telling me I am a liar, a manipulator, and someone who cannot be trusted. And it feels so real. But I also know I was hurting. I was not trying to deceive anyone. I was just overwhelmed, desperate to be understood, and probably influenced by years of invalidation from my family over almost everything. I have talked to my boyfriend about it and apologized. He told me he understands and forgives me. But I cannot forgive myself, and I do not know if what I did is forgivable. Has anyone ever been in a similar place? I feel so so awful this was 3 years ago. Now I feel like I can’t trust any of my emotions. I’m analyzing every reaction, past and present, trying to decide if it was “real enough” or if I was somehow dishonest. It feels like OCD has completely hijacked my sense of self. Please help :(
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- Date posted
- 24w
I told my boyfriend last night about all the times that I thought I “cheated” (I have ROCD) on him and he said that I didn’t but he still feels uncomfortable about it and I can tell he’s not answering me and he’s being really dry and his responses. He said it was fine but now I don’t know what to do because I know it’s not fine. I didn’t cheat on him, but I felt like I did and I told him that and I think it made him really uneasy. I just don’t wanna lose him and I’m scared because I had a dream about it and he got really mad and broke up with me. I didn’t want to tell him what I was going through in the first place, but it was eating at me so badly with the guilt I had to confess. I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I cannot lose him.
- Date posted
- 23w
I've opened up recently to my boyfriend about my ocd itself: he knew I had it, just didnt rlly understanded it. Today, I was feeling really awful because of my incest ocd, and the toughts were awful, so I decided to open up. BAD IDEA! he said it was ok and stuff but he also said he did not understand: he is, fairly, disgusted. Plus, he knowns my relatives, which probably made him even more sick. Im so sad, he is now more disgusted by me, and I am too.
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