- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey , I’ve commented on a lot of your post , and you may be tired of me by now , but I just want to be supportive . I want to first advise you to seek professional counseling if you haven’t already . It’s such a great Avenue to get you on the right path . I really can feel your pain through your words . You are very concerned and putting yourself through so much stress and regret . I have a question for you . Do you believe that your childhood has impacted your parenthood ? Is OCD something that you’ve just developed or you’ve had this even as a child ? If you’ve had it OCD as a child , you could still be ruminating over things that has happened and impose it on your parenthood now . Is that a possibility? Without proper guidance from a professional , I believe you’ll always revisit the “ what if’s , seeking assurance from your daughters mood , and believe the lies in your head “ . I also believe the counselor may suggest you and your children do a sit down and discuss any issues and concerns . Just because your children are acting a certain way doesn’t mean that they hate you . Getting help to the right direction in imperative so that you can better the relationship and atmosphere of your home . In the meantime, don’t stress yourself out . Don’t hold on to regret . Stay positive and know that help is on the way . As a mother , focus on being better each day . Don’t drive yourself to exhaustion , but be the best version of yourself . In spite of many having OCD , at times we know what our best self is . Remove the negative language such as hate , regret , resentful and etc . Those could really impact your mood . If you aren’t doing OCD is there a family counselor that could assist . I can tell this a very big matter to you . I really am going to be praying for you ! You are a great mother and you love your children . Don’t dwell on the past and “what if’s” , focus on the now and being better today . You’ve got this !
- Date posted
- 3y
I absolutely 100% feel that my childhood has impacted my parenting. I feel like once my kids hit the age I was at when I felt so negelected I kind of didn’t know what to do. I started having the flashbacks and started to recognize a lot of things that were so wrong when I was a kid. It explained so much but at the same time left my head spinning, it was the perfect storm for a false memory to brew up. I constantly project onto my middle daughter. I feel like our relationship is so much like mine and my mothers. Maybe I’m being a little dramatic, I don’t know. I appreciate you so much though, please keep giving me your input. I’m new to this and my first session is next Monday. I’ve always had OCD themes, very insecure needing constant reassurance, always coming up with crazy “what if” scenarios, but false memory POCD is my rock bottom. I’ve gone on meds and it helped for a while but comes back, I know I need professional help to get past this.
- Date posted
- 3y
@mmckean Really wish there was a better way of communicating. A lot of times , we truly need someone to just honestly listen and talk to . Glad you’re getting professional help that’s for sure . Seeking reassurance and the crazy “ what if’s” are all forms of compulsions. I’ve been there . It’s so unhealthy . You’re getting help and that’s what’s Important . I also figured that your child hood really is impacting your parenthood now . It’s completely understandable and reversible too ! So much brightness to this situation but you can’t see it because you’re so focused on moods , reassurances , what if’s , childhood instances and more . Not taking light of those things because those things has impacted me too . I’m able to say these things because I go through these. I’m only 25 with my first child whose 2months old , but I know that things that I’ve been through impacts my parenting now . Give yourself some slack . Don’t put the blame on you . Different factors are accountable too . I can’t wait for you to get help and move forward with being the great mother you were designed to be !
- Date posted
- 3y
I could really use someone’s support , sorry for taking the spotlight off ya Mmckean. I am here for you too and I hope get better ! We’re all here for you and things can get better ! Talk to ur daughter
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brian :) What’s wrong? Are you ok?
- Date posted
- 3y
@mmckean Everything is so much harder right now , I’m just very behind on my work for CNA and most time I’m thinking about other things like relationships with friends. Alor going on and ocd makes it too hard to prioritize my time with my classes . I either have to stay wit the program or leave and I do not want to disappoint my parents :(
- Date posted
- 3y
talk to your daughter. ask why she behaves like that? tell her that you are worried that you could offend her. I hope that everything will work out for you
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Please please help me. I need support. I just need someone to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. I want to get past it all. I'm struggling STRUGGLING today. My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so wanted in the moment and SO real. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support? (edited)
- Date posted
- 12w
Life has been so tough for me lately. I’ve been stuck in an OCD spiral since last December. Most of my fears come from incidentally causing harm to my family or others. I feel like every action is a moral conflict, or that any time I make a bad decision, act out of frustration, or self indulge in anything, I’m debating about whether I’m an awful person who doesn’t care about my kids, my wife, or other people. I’m a stay at home parent currently, and all three of my kids are neurodivergent, with my youngest being on the spectrum. My youngest is nonverbal, so my OCD loves to manipulate that, making it hard to know if my son is happy, sad, upset, etc. Always feeling like I’m worried I’ll make too many mistakes as a parent. That any time I lose my cool, it means I’m just this awful person and parent. I’m burnt out from the stress currently, so I always feel on edge, which makes it harder to have the mental power to resist compulsions. I am in OCD therapy, which has helped. But every time I feel like I’m taking steps in the right direction I get sucked back in. Every time I resist compulsions, I’m triggered almost immediately after. Because I’m a stay at home parent, and a lot of my triggers and themes involve harm to others, particularly my family, it’s just trigger after trigger after trigger. My wife is exhausted from my mental health, which just adds to the guilt I already feel. I hate that my mental health is affecting everyone, and it only reinforces the idea that I’m causing harm or suffering to those around me. I just need a break. I cannot keep living my life this way. This is the worst my OCD has been, and I feel so traumatized from all the days and hours I’ve spent feeling like I’m at my limit. Thanks for reading. Feel free to respond if you can relate. Just needed to vent.
- Date posted
- 11w
Feel like I’ve been stuck in a spiral for a while. My OCD has come in waves over the years but this time it has been so debilitating. I’m in therapy, but I really struggle with sitting with uncertainty. My therapist will tell me to say, “Maybe, maybe not”. But so many of my fears and so much of my uncertainty feels too risky to just, “not figure out”. And if it’s not just thoughts, it’s actions or events. Whether it’s an event from years ago or 5 minutes ago, I feel like I’m ruminating and trying to perform memory recall. I analyze every action, thought, decision. I’m full of guilt and dread all the time. And then I realize how much it’s affecting my family and ability to be a fun and present parent. Most days I’m hardly functional outside of meeting my kid’s basic needs. I feel like I’m wasting so much time, but I just can’t get myself out of this constant loop. Every day brings a new event or theme or thought. I know I need to sit with the uncertainty but it’s so hard.
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