- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey , I’ve commented on a lot of your post , and you may be tired of me by now , but I just want to be supportive . I want to first advise you to seek professional counseling if you haven’t already . It’s such a great Avenue to get you on the right path . I really can feel your pain through your words . You are very concerned and putting yourself through so much stress and regret . I have a question for you . Do you believe that your childhood has impacted your parenthood ? Is OCD something that you’ve just developed or you’ve had this even as a child ? If you’ve had it OCD as a child , you could still be ruminating over things that has happened and impose it on your parenthood now . Is that a possibility? Without proper guidance from a professional , I believe you’ll always revisit the “ what if’s , seeking assurance from your daughters mood , and believe the lies in your head “ . I also believe the counselor may suggest you and your children do a sit down and discuss any issues and concerns . Just because your children are acting a certain way doesn’t mean that they hate you . Getting help to the right direction in imperative so that you can better the relationship and atmosphere of your home . In the meantime, don’t stress yourself out . Don’t hold on to regret . Stay positive and know that help is on the way . As a mother , focus on being better each day . Don’t drive yourself to exhaustion , but be the best version of yourself . In spite of many having OCD , at times we know what our best self is . Remove the negative language such as hate , regret , resentful and etc . Those could really impact your mood . If you aren’t doing OCD is there a family counselor that could assist . I can tell this a very big matter to you . I really am going to be praying for you ! You are a great mother and you love your children . Don’t dwell on the past and “what if’s” , focus on the now and being better today . You’ve got this !
- Date posted
- 3y
I absolutely 100% feel that my childhood has impacted my parenting. I feel like once my kids hit the age I was at when I felt so negelected I kind of didn’t know what to do. I started having the flashbacks and started to recognize a lot of things that were so wrong when I was a kid. It explained so much but at the same time left my head spinning, it was the perfect storm for a false memory to brew up. I constantly project onto my middle daughter. I feel like our relationship is so much like mine and my mothers. Maybe I’m being a little dramatic, I don’t know. I appreciate you so much though, please keep giving me your input. I’m new to this and my first session is next Monday. I’ve always had OCD themes, very insecure needing constant reassurance, always coming up with crazy “what if” scenarios, but false memory POCD is my rock bottom. I’ve gone on meds and it helped for a while but comes back, I know I need professional help to get past this.
- Date posted
- 3y
@mmckean Really wish there was a better way of communicating. A lot of times , we truly need someone to just honestly listen and talk to . Glad you’re getting professional help that’s for sure . Seeking reassurance and the crazy “ what if’s” are all forms of compulsions. I’ve been there . It’s so unhealthy . You’re getting help and that’s what’s Important . I also figured that your child hood really is impacting your parenthood now . It’s completely understandable and reversible too ! So much brightness to this situation but you can’t see it because you’re so focused on moods , reassurances , what if’s , childhood instances and more . Not taking light of those things because those things has impacted me too . I’m able to say these things because I go through these. I’m only 25 with my first child whose 2months old , but I know that things that I’ve been through impacts my parenting now . Give yourself some slack . Don’t put the blame on you . Different factors are accountable too . I can’t wait for you to get help and move forward with being the great mother you were designed to be !
- Date posted
- 3y
I could really use someone’s support , sorry for taking the spotlight off ya Mmckean. I am here for you too and I hope get better ! We’re all here for you and things can get better ! Talk to ur daughter
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brian :) What’s wrong? Are you ok?
- Date posted
- 3y
@mmckean Everything is so much harder right now , I’m just very behind on my work for CNA and most time I’m thinking about other things like relationships with friends. Alor going on and ocd makes it too hard to prioritize my time with my classes . I either have to stay wit the program or leave and I do not want to disappoint my parents :(
- Date posted
- 3y
talk to your daughter. ask why she behaves like that? tell her that you are worried that you could offend her. I hope that everything will work out for you
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I have to be alone with my children tomorrow and I'm scared. Harm OCD has me panicking and ruminating. I don't want to hurt my babies they mean everything to me. I keep fighting for them, I got a better job for them and I want to create a better life for them. I'm so afraid that I might hurt them so I need to be away from them but I also don't want to be away from them. The thoughts and images are so much. I'd rather die before I hurt them. Accepting the uncertainty of possibly hurting them is not something I can accept or live with. And it doesn't help having existential ocd because that says none of it matters anyway. I just want to be the old me, I hate this disorder I hate this disease I hate me for having these thoughts. I'm sorry for ranting. I just need to get it out. I hate this worry disorder!
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Suicidal OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Harm OCD
- Existential OCD
- False Memory OCD
- OCD newbies
- Date posted
- 23w
Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT
- Date posted
- 9w
Life has been so tough for me lately. I’ve been stuck in an OCD spiral since last December. Most of my fears come from incidentally causing harm to my family or others. I feel like every action is a moral conflict, or that any time I make a bad decision, act out of frustration, or self indulge in anything, I’m debating about whether I’m an awful person who doesn’t care about my kids, my wife, or other people. I’m a stay at home parent currently, and all three of my kids are neurodivergent, with my youngest being on the spectrum. My youngest is nonverbal, so my OCD loves to manipulate that, making it hard to know if my son is happy, sad, upset, etc. Always feeling like I’m worried I’ll make too many mistakes as a parent. That any time I lose my cool, it means I’m just this awful person and parent. I’m burnt out from the stress currently, so I always feel on edge, which makes it harder to have the mental power to resist compulsions. I am in OCD therapy, which has helped. But every time I feel like I’m taking steps in the right direction I get sucked back in. Every time I resist compulsions, I’m triggered almost immediately after. Because I’m a stay at home parent, and a lot of my triggers and themes involve harm to others, particularly my family, it’s just trigger after trigger after trigger. My wife is exhausted from my mental health, which just adds to the guilt I already feel. I hate that my mental health is affecting everyone, and it only reinforces the idea that I’m causing harm or suffering to those around me. I just need a break. I cannot keep living my life this way. This is the worst my OCD has been, and I feel so traumatized from all the days and hours I’ve spent feeling like I’m at my limit. Thanks for reading. Feel free to respond if you can relate. Just needed to vent.
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