Is it normal to feel guilty and like you are lying if you don't tell you S.O. about something from the past? Or something you believe? Or something else?

Genuinely why is it okay to not tell everything about your past to others? Even if it’s past mistakes to family and so?

I’ve been feeling the compulsion of confession again. I hate confessing things to my boyfriend I don’t want him to carry the burden. I’d rather hurt than him hurt. But I feel I did something wrong and he needs to know. Like I need to be punished or something. I may be over reacting to it but I just feel guilty and I had a panic attack when I woke up yesterday. I would never cheat on him. Just making guys laugh I feel like I am doing him wrong or flirting. And then when I notice it I just feel awful. I just want to be liked and noticed not romantically but just as a human. I don’t know why I act like this and feel the need to tell him as if I slept with someone. I think it’s attacking my biggest fear which is losing him. Does anyone have experience with this?

I can’t help but feel so anxious because of guilt. I feel guilty about not sharing everything about my OCD to my partner, but because I understand that confession itself is a compulsion and would not help anyone. I feel so anxious too that if all my fears come true and she finds out, then it would be so devastating for everyone especially her. Does anyone feel the same thing? How could I change my perspective on this?