So after having OCD for as long as I can remember (since 5 years old probably, I am 31 now), I’ve been in ERP for 6 months and while I think I still have a long way to go, I can tell it is working. But…I don’t/can’t feel happy or proud of my progress. It bothers me that after 26 years of OCD, 6 months of treatment has resulted in a reduction of symptoms. For one, I find it frustrating that in only 6 months I’m seeing improvement, like why could I have not done this many years ago and saved a lot of suffering. More frustratingly though, it makes me feel kind of like it negates or diminishes the suffering/negative impacts it has caused on my life (relationship, work etc). Like how could a 26 year problem be solved in 6 months that just doesn’t seem right. It also brings up thoughts like “have I been making this worse than it is?”, “am I exaggerating?”, “were my symptoms real?” etc. I know these are all related to me doubting my diagnosis and are just another symptom of OCD but I still just can’t accept the fact that my symptoms have improved in a short span of time. Anyone else feel similar? How have you been able to feel happy about your progress?

In ERP, but have made no progress. I’m also on medication for ocd. I actually feel like I’ve resorted back to when I was at my worst. Is this normal? I feel ERP helps everyone and not me. It actually makes me more anxious and want to stop, esp because my ocd is on something physical (imperfections/hair color) I’m not giving up & going to continue through this journey regardless. I long for mental stability 😭

Its been around a year now that ive struggled heavily with intrusive thoughts. I haven’t noticed it in my other years, aside from when i was a young kid. I want to get diagnosed with OCD or try to see what my therapist will say. Ive been summing up the courage to speak about this for months now and i have an appointment on the 26th. I feel like im ready to finally talk about it will someone, yet one thing is holding me back. The doubt. I started struggling HEAVILY with OCD symptoms around march of 2024. I mean rumination, compulsions, shame, disgust, etc. It was one of the worsts points of my like and it cared on from January-Late august of 2024. I was literally in distress everyday of my life. I had constant intrusive thoughts that would go away, and unbearable anxiety. Yet around september hit they started getting EASIER to mange. (remember that, they didnt go away, i just wasnt as effected) I was quite happy i could live a little without pain and that carried from Sept-December 2024. But then January hit again, and everything just seems to flow right back to me. I cant stop thinking about how i used to feel, the pain i was in. Everyday my brain wants me to remember the anguish i was put through. I finally decided i will talk about this to my Therapist. My only doubt is that, everything is much easier for me to deal with, and my anxiety isnt as strong. I still have intrusive thoughts and suffer with performing compulsions, but i dont ruminate anymore. That should be a good thing but my brain tells me that means my feelings arent valid, and i dont have OCD cause things are better. Im sorry for this long read, i just need to get this off my chest. How do i talk to my therapist about wanting to get an evaluation, when most of my main hard aspects in OCD are in the past? (AKA the past i suppressed and shut down)Any help is appreciated. 😕

So I've been working to address my OCD for about a month now. So far, I haven't been working on it with a therapist and have instead been trying to create my own exposure exercises. The primary obsession I'm working on is the fear that I'm somehow flawed or invalid on a fundamental level. The best way I can describe it it is that its similar to the feeling you get when you have germ OCD and you feel contaminated, except my whole existence and being feels contaminated, so to speak. I've identified a list of triggers, and a list of compulsions (pretty much all mental) that I've noticed myself performing. I started out by doing imaginal exposures and scripts where I'd write out triggering fictional scenarios and read them over and over, combined with mindfulness techniques to focus on my breath and bring myself back to the present when I noticed myself performing compulsions mentally. At first it worked to some extent, but eventually I started to feel like the stories I was writing about this obsession weren't triggering any anxiety anymore or a very low level. So I stopped reading them and focused solely on improving my ability to stay present and identifying compulsions as I perform them, and disengaging. Now, I'm at the point where it seems like my general anxiety levels throughout the day are lower, and the triggers I've identified are producing noticeably less anxiety. But that makes me wonder if somehow I'm just secretly doing mental compulsions without knowing it? Is only a month of rather disorganized and unstructured ERP enough to produce this much improvement? To avoid giving me re-assurance, I'd appreciate if you guys don't directly answer those questions, maybe just provide some possibilities or your own experiences so I can get a better idea of where I'm at. Any info would be appreciated. Thanks!