So after having OCD for as long as I can remember (since 5 years old probably, I am 31 now), I’ve been in ERP for 6 months and while I think I still have a long way to go, I can tell it is working. But…I don’t/can’t feel happy or proud of my progress. It bothers me that after 26 years of OCD, 6 months of treatment has resulted in a reduction of symptoms. For one, I find it frustrating that in only 6 months I’m seeing improvement, like why could I have not done this many years ago and saved a lot of suffering. More frustratingly though, it makes me feel kind of like it negates or diminishes the suffering/negative impacts it has caused on my life (relationship, work etc). Like how could a 26 year problem be solved in 6 months that just doesn’t seem right. It also brings up thoughts like “have I been making this worse than it is?”, “am I exaggerating?”, “were my symptoms real?” etc. I know these are all related to me doubting my diagnosis and are just another symptom of OCD but I still just can’t accept the fact that my symptoms have improved in a short span of time. Anyone else feel similar? How have you been able to feel happy about your progress?

Yea bro i totally get that, I'm having similar stuff right now tbh but it's more to do with trying to figure out why everything is going so good all of a sudden, and then it gets almost too good to be true you know. But then this overwhelming feeling made me want to almost FIND a problem in the positive progress of beating ocd, but what i realized later was that that itself is what's meant to happen when u beat it/bring it down to a manageable point; u feel good. Most of the time, what i figured, is that when something good actually happens to us after a long period of trouble, whether it is ocd or something else, we find it literally unbelievable and we look for specs of unreasonable doubts as to why we feel so happy. Although with ocd i reckon its way worse because that's literally what the disorder is based upon; finding perfection that does not exist. And then when we get "happy" or our desired result, we shun it away because that means our chase is over and we have what we want finally, almost as if this is the end of everything almost like paradise. But what helped me with feeling happy with my progress or even the ability to be accepting or content of it, would be the ability to use this as a stepping stone to improve your own LIFE, not just the ocd anymore, which will help you to keep moving forward with a goal, rather than feel stunned at your progress, which may seem inadvertantly to be your end goal. Just knowing that every ending, good or bad, is the start/beginning of something else. In this case ur ocd progression is the start of something else, not just the end of the chase of fighting your ocd. Yes u should be proud of it obviously, but it should also be used as a positive marker to push yourself further in life, in regards to your personal growth, whatever it may be. Basically what i am trying to say is tho, is that u will never feel content completely with yourself, because of ocd, thats just how it is. But in my opinion by having something as a goal will help you to aim for that and in turn will aid u in the acceptance of your ocd progression(think of it like your levelling up), which then as a result causes u to be happy about it. Hope this helps bro 😊

I totally get what you mean when you say you wanted to find a problem. I’ve done that so many times and usually my reaction “oh thank goodness OCD is still there”. Thanks for the tips!

yes!!! This usually sends me into a backslide as well since my ocd will say something like "well if you're making this much progress you couldn't have actually been sick...must not really be ocd..." so on and so forth until I spiral out again. Keep pushing!! you're not alone