yesterday I had my second session with my NOCD therapist. she’s great, but I just had such a hard time talking about what my real event OCD centers around. I could barely even get out vague descriptions because I am so afraid that my fears about being terrible will be confirmed and that I truly am irredeemable. I’m sure everybody who deals with this theme feels this way, but I really think mine is so bad and immoral…I couldn’t even say it. I know I need to at least be honest about it initially because otherwise how can I get help & move on? but do I deserve to move on? ugh I just feel so stuck. I know confessing is a compulsion but actually talking about it for the first time paralyzes me with fear. I can’t believe I froze up like that…but I also just can’t bear to think of what would happen if I did tell the truth. What if it really is as terrible as I think it is?

Real Events OCD

Lms526

Date posted: 3y

I understand. When I first started treatment, I was having a lot of intrusive thoughts involving both harm and suicide OCD. I was terrified to tell my therapist. I thought for sure I would end up getting arrested or involuntarily committed to a psych ward. But I was desperate. I watched her expression. It didn't even change. NOCD therapist understand OCD. That means they have heard it all before. There is NOTHING you could tell your therapist that will shock or surprise them. Your therapist is there to support and help you. But they can't do that if you aren't honest with them about what you are dealing with. Your therapist will NOT judge you for your intrusive thoughts. Everyone has done and said thing they are ashamed of. It doesn't make you a horrible person. It makes you human. I will never regret being open and honest with my therapist. It is so freeing.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

Thanks for sharing your current experience. I would say that you should be very proud of yourself for 1st noticing the anxiety, distress, and discomfort and letting those feelings of anxiety, fear, etc. be there.This is a perfect time to as I like to say "practice" ERP. Practice not analyzing any of those points you mentioned and place your attention on this present moment. Feel your feet on the ground, take a deep breathe, go for a walk, read, go hangout with a close companion, or play a sport. Not avoiding the discomfort, but choosing to do things you want to do and not give any attention to dwelling on that.The most important part being the response prevention. Not easy, but part of the work. When this type of situation occurs and we are in environments in which we are organically exposed to distress, use this as an opportunity to practice doing the work! This allows for two things; showing yourself you can handle and tolerate it, and also letting your body know that although you feel uncomfortable you are willing to keep doing whatever it is you are doing and getting on with your day! This is the foundation! Keep going with therapy and day by day work on this with your Therapist. You can do it

Imnew@this

Date posted: 18w

Therapy today.

(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I have therapy today and I’m nervous. I just started going to therapy and I really like my therapist. She talked to me about doing ERP and I’m really nervous about it. I’m scared to tell her the extent of my OCD, and my themes. I’m scared to tell her about my false memory OCD, because I’m scared that what I did was real and I’m just excusing it as false memory, although I have no memory of it. I’m scared that I am truly a monster and I’m using OCD as an excuse—and that she’ll find out and distance herself. I’m just scared that my whole world is gonna fall apart, all around me.

1231234

Date posted: 16w

Tips for someone starting out with Therapy?

I’m on track to getting my diagnosis and i’m already questioning it. Pocd feels so real, and even though i once saw someone say “it has to feel real or you wouldn’t worry” which is like god level reassurance honestly, it hurts. I can’t look at children, they deserve better. My usual attraction seems to be gone and i can not think about anything else. At the same time i don’t really feel anxiety. I’m scared i don’t feel bad enough, if i just smiled maybe i honestly wouldn’t feel bad? I don’t have many other ocd symptoms either, except for some stuff when i was a kid and like questioning everything about myself. I’m clinging to the hope that this is Pocd instead of me being a Monster and at the same time i’m so sad that i have to go trough this. I don’t like myself but i’m sorry for my younger self. I just want to be held and be told that everything will be okay but how can i know? Even then i feel like comfort of that kind only really applies to others who are struggling and aren’t horrible like me. In so many ways i sm convinced i am a monster even though it might be a bit irrational. Maybe i’m a monster after all and then i should really get away from everyone i love. They deserve better :( After a lifetime of struggles (nothing super serious) i’m just getting started with therapy and i’m so.. scared. What if it won’t help? What if it turns out i’m the bad person i fear to be. Is there any way i can prepare or some tips or literally anything else? I would appreciate any wise words

dee012

Date posted: 16w

taboo theme ocd and childhood trauma

i need some kind words or maybe some advice? basically i went through trauma as a kid including sexual, and acted out in disturbing ways. I’ve done things i regret. even as an early teenager i did also. the only weird things ive done recently were compulsions and weird ocd driven stuff… but besides that ive found it easy to forgive myself for a lot of stuff because i know myself and my intentions and also talking to people helps. but one thing that’s hard is when im intimate with others or in a relationship. i feel so gross and undeserving like if they knew everything ive done in my life they would hate me. I don’t tell everyone everything, i think i only did that with therapists and like one family member. I feel like if I don’t tell someone everything I’ve done that I regret and see if they forgive me for it, then that means im “hiding” something about me and being malicious. anything helps :(

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community