I’m not doing hot mentally right now and I’m right in the middle of finals season at my college. My real event OCD is going so so so SO CRAZY. I just feel that it’s inevitable that my past mistakes will come back to haunt me and take everything I’ve worked for and everything that I have been given away from me. It’s hard to not feel like my life is over. I feel like a terrible evil horrible failure of a human being and like I don’t deserve anything that I’ve ever been given. I don’t know what to do or how to get through this. I have therapy tomorrow but I need it now. Why does my OCD get bad at the worst times possible. I wish I could take back my mistakes. I know they weren’t big mistakes in the grand scheme of things like I didn’t hurt anyone but I can’t truly can’t let any of it go.

ECM17

174d ago

I understand what you’re going through I am dealing with a similar thing. I didn’t hurt anyone and in the grand scheme of things I am extremely fortunate, but I am fixated on one mistake right now that I cannot fix or change. It’s eating me up

G :)

174d ago

good to know I am not alone. It’s also like I know people have made these mistakes before and I wouldn’t judge them or treat them like I’m treating myself and I know people who have made these mistakes tend not to think twice about them but I can’t let it go. I just wish I could change the past

G :)

174d ago

We can get through this. We just have to have compassion for ourselves.

Uncomfortable

174d ago

@G :) This!!!! I beat myself up for everything I do but I would never think twice if someone else did it

ECM17

174d ago

I totally understand but you can’t let your anxiety and ocd win. You deserve better than that

G :)

174d ago

So do you !!! it’s hard to be kind to ourselves but we’ve got this

ECM17

174d ago

@G :) It’s so hard. I bought a wedding dress that I hated and was 6 sizes too big and never said anything. I had such anxiety over it but told myself it was just that. The seamstress couldn’t make it fit and I was a wrinkly potato sack on my own wedding day. Now we got our photos back and I am devastated by how apparent it is. So much anxiety now and nothing I can do to fix it

Jesse Miller

173d ago

OCD always gets sticky during our most stressful times. Knowing this helps a lot, because you'll eventually learn that you might have more intrusive thoughts during emotionally stressful events. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to write down some worst-case scenarios when going through your harder moments. Write down what your mistakes will do to your future, but also remember that ruminating and trying to fix our past will not help us move forward into our future. Accept yourself as who you are today, not who you used to be. That person isn't YOU anymore.