- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Same. Like I get afraid when I start feeling better because I’m afraid that I don’t have OCD, and I’m just faking it. Shits hard sending u love
Why is it how empty it will be
Maybe that’s it or I’m just afraid of living by uncertainty ? I’m worried about feeling alone? I don’t know
I have felt this. I lived with untreated OCD for 37 years because I didn't know I had it. When I first started treatment, I felt completely hopeless. I had done years of therapy and never made any progress. My mind was NEVER quiet. My thoughts were either racing a million miles an hour and there was endless chatter. ERP was crazy hard. But the benefits are SO worth it. It has been life changing for me.
I’m currently looking for treatment and I’m scared to I’m scared to get better cause if it comes back I’ll have to deal wit finding ways to do things again to work wit the new ocd if I just keep it I’ll always be strong in it and I’m scared of going threw the process of getting admitted them touching all my stuff which I don’t like and not letting me use qtips which is apart of my getting ready everyday ritual I get dressed in a certain order then put on deodorant qtips put my hair up then clean my face wit my face pads then I’m done so just not being able to use qtips in the hospital is traumatizeing just to get in the hospital and then not even be able to help my ocd.
I want to go do something I enjoy so badly but I feel like I don’t deserve it. I’m full of guilt, shame, and anxiety. I wish I felt okay like I did a few days ago. I feel so awful right now. I hate OCD. I HATE pocd. I hate all of it. I wish this was easier. Sometimes I have the thought that I wish I was the things my OCD makes me afraid I am out of desperation to stop the anxiety, but then that thought makes me panic bc I don’t actually mean that or want that I just want the anxiety and urgency in the compulsions to stop. I’m so tired
I want to beat OCD because I have seen and felt the benefits of clearing my brain from unnecessary, pointless, thoughts. OCD is like 0 calorie food. It’s pointless. No nutrition or benefits come from my obsessions or compulsions. I don’t care to have answers to everything anymore. I catch myself just trying to stress myself out so that I have some worry to feed on. But like I said, it’s a 0 calorie food. I get nothing from it but wasted time and energy. My brain feels more spacious when I’m not consumed by OCD. I’m present. My personality has room to be herself without making space for bullshit. I tell myself now that worry is poison. I think Willie Nelson was the person I got that quote from? Anyways, that imagery of worries being poison for the mind has been transformative for me. I’m evolving. 💖 Thanks NOCD community.
Does anyone else ever feel like they don’t feel “bad enough” to have OCD, or that they don’t feel “the right way” for it? Or like they’re just saying they have OCD as an excuse? Because i was so much better for like 3 weeks now and now im on my period and i started doubting again. So because of that im scared that i was feeling to good and that my fear is actually true.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond