- Username
- Anonymous
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Same. Like I get afraid when I start feeling better because I’m afraid that I don’t have OCD, and I’m just faking it. Shits hard sending u love
Why is it how empty it will be
Maybe that’s it or I’m just afraid of living by uncertainty ? I’m worried about feeling alone? I don’t know
I have felt this. I lived with untreated OCD for 37 years because I didn't know I had it. When I first started treatment, I felt completely hopeless. I had done years of therapy and never made any progress. My mind was NEVER quiet. My thoughts were either racing a million miles an hour and there was endless chatter. ERP was crazy hard. But the benefits are SO worth it. It has been life changing for me.
I’m currently looking for treatment and I’m scared to I’m scared to get better cause if it comes back I’ll have to deal wit finding ways to do things again to work wit the new ocd if I just keep it I’ll always be strong in it and I’m scared of going threw the process of getting admitted them touching all my stuff which I don’t like and not letting me use qtips which is apart of my getting ready everyday ritual I get dressed in a certain order then put on deodorant qtips put my hair up then clean my face wit my face pads then I’m done so just not being able to use qtips in the hospital is traumatizeing just to get in the hospital and then not even be able to help my ocd.
Weird question but does anyone get the random fear that you actually “enjoy” the intrusive thoughts and OCD is just an excuse and you don’t want to get better? Or am I crazy. Of course I want to be free :(
sometimes it feels like if i talk about my ocd stuff to my therapist especially about when it was at its worst then i get stuck on how bad it was and scared it will get that bad again and then it scares me it could happen now right when ive been feeling better than i have in a long time like honestly on my drive home i was like oh god and i have to just go maybe you will maybe you wont i also think my ocd gets worse when i pms so thats a factor but yeah the fear of ocd taking me down again becomes its own theme and then its like your mind starts thinking of thoughts it hasnt in a long time on purpose or something very annoying
How am I suppose to get better when OCD makes me doubt if I want to get better 😭. It feels like I just want to live in my OCD thoughts. It’s so scary!
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