- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I think I know what you mean.. where the OCD blurs the lines between gender and sexuality to the point where you don’t even know who you are anymore
- Date posted
- 6y
I know exactly what you mean by "you feel like your life is going to change forever". Part of me feels like ill never be the same after this which is frightening. I feel like im outside of my own body most days. Ive been having better ups since ive started just letting the thoughts be there but its so hard and tiring. I feel so alien.
- Date posted
- 6y
yep!!
- Date posted
- 6y
Im a trans guy and for a while flip flopped between "well maybe im just nb" for a bit especially during this. Mostly it was because of pressure, but my so-ocd made me question my gender identity a lot because its been fucking with my thoughts.
- Date posted
- 6y
Same. Like is more devastating why* you think about this now than the real question at all... I mean, if something has to be, has to be, and that should makes us feel complete or happy. But this feels like numb, stupid, obsessing, terrific... Giving answer of yes or not being this or that is never enough, it doesn't make me feel better. It just gives us anxiety and not answering too xd I know this takes a lot of time but I hate egodistonic thoughts, ugh.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you all, you are all right ♡ I don't know exactly how I feel about this. I think is ocd because I already have hocd and I think that being nb is actually really possible for me because I'm loosing the way I see sex or genders and that's killing me in some way too, even if is not a bad thing, I feel empty and lost all the time, like is too much for me, I know people who is nonbinary and they are really happy about their identity. Being queer is okay for me ♡ but this makes me believe like Im in a transition even if I just cry every day since this popped in my head and even in my dreams I can't escape or sleep more than 5 hours of this thought xd I think that in my compulsion I had read too much about SOOCD and I associate every single shit. I'm actually trying to fight hocd and I'm a little better but this has no sense now... I had never questioned this or had felt it neccesary to be someone. Don't you feel sometimes your life is going to change for any of these thoughts like forever. Like there is no in between. Like is the thought or nothing and even the thought makes you feel no one. I don't want to lose who I am but my head also tells me this is real and being a girl has no meaning... Again thank you all... I feel less lonely about this. Like you all understand me better than anyone ♡
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
I feel different from others, I don’t feel as feminine and I feel like I’ve changed. I’m not sure why I feel this way. I also don’t think my ocd is ocd, it’s just something I told myself to feel better. I know! What if I am what if I’m not, I get it, but I don’t feel like i have a choice in the matter anymore. I have soocd and it’s eaten me alive for years. I woke up out of my sleep and got triggered and here I am. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I always wanted a boyfriend and now It seemed to change. I don’t want a girlfriend, it’s just that I don’t see anything for myself and I feel like I’m hiding. It’s hard to explain. Plus sometimes the way I move or speak makes me feel more masculine and it kills me. Im feeling so lost and alone right now. I know what I want deep down but I feel incapable of having those things because I won’t be able to have feeling. If that makes sense.
- Date posted
- 15w
I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲
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- Date posted
- 10w
i'm a lesbian, i was sure of this for many years, until soocd started messing with me around a month ago. it's hard because lesbians with soocd aren't well documented and it's hard to find similar experiences from others. i hate this, my mind is telling me it's not ocd and that i actually like men. i don't even know if i wouldn't like it. i guess that's accepting uncertainty but i don't want to like men. i want to marry my girlfriend. i don't want to be with a man but my mind doesn't let me feel anything regarding that, neither good nor bad, and i cannot tell if i enjoy that thought or don't like it. it's horrible. i'm so exhausted. i get groinal reactions too which i've never even had before this subtype flared up because im on the asexual spectrum. it's insane. has anyone else had any similar experiences?
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