Brooklyn33
- Date posted
- 6y
m.a.d.m.a.d.
- Date posted
- 6y
I think I know what you mean.. where the OCD blurs the lines between gender and sexuality to the point where you don’t even know who you are anymore
GfauxGfaux
- Date posted
- 6y
I know exactly what you mean by "you feel like your life is going to change forever". Part of me feels like ill never be the same after this which is frightening. I feel like im outside of my own body most days. Ive been having better ups since ive started just letting the thoughts be there but its so hard and tiring. I feel so alien.
Bella???Bella???
- Date posted
- 6y
yep!!
GfauxGfaux
- Date posted
- 6y
Im a trans guy and for a while flip flopped between "well maybe im just nb" for a bit especially during this. Mostly it was because of pressure, but my so-ocd made me question my gender identity a lot because its been fucking with my thoughts.
Brooklyn33Brooklyn33
- Date posted
- 6y
Same. Like is more devastating why* you think about this now than the real question at all... I mean, if something has to be, has to be, and that should makes us feel complete or happy. But this feels like numb, stupid, obsessing, terrific... Giving answer of yes or not being this or that is never enough, it doesn't make me feel better. It just gives us anxiety and not answering too xd I know this takes a lot of time but I hate egodistonic thoughts, ugh.
Brooklyn33Brooklyn33
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you all, you are all right ♡ I don't know exactly how I feel about this. I think is ocd because I already have hocd and I think that being nb is actually really possible for me because I'm loosing the way I see sex or genders and that's killing me in some way too, even if is not a bad thing, I feel empty and lost all the time, like is too much for me, I know people who is nonbinary and they are really happy about their identity. Being queer is okay for me ♡ but this makes me believe like Im in a transition even if I just cry every day since this popped in my head and even in my dreams I can't escape or sleep more than 5 hours of this thought xd I think that in my compulsion I had read too much about SOOCD and I associate every single shit. I'm actually trying to fight hocd and I'm a little better but this has no sense now... I had never questioned this or had felt it neccesary to be someone. Don't you feel sometimes your life is going to change for any of these thoughts like forever. Like there is no in between. Like is the thought or nothing and even the thought makes you feel no one. I don't want to lose who I am but my head also tells me this is real and being a girl has no meaning... Again thank you all... I feel less lonely about this. Like you all understand me better than anyone ♡
Related posts
Mt2019
- Date posted
- 24w
Question about HOCD
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
Luke_McElwee
- Date posted
- 23w
HOCD question
Anyone else with HOCD get thoughts of like "people in denial try to distract themselves" or anything along those lines when just trying to move on from the thoughts. Having a pretty bad episode this morning at least anxiety wise.
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 18w
Hocd is literally a clown in my head.
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
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