- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Pocd and moral ocd. HIGHKEY ruined my life. Effects every minute of everyday. Creeps into my nightmares. Hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours if rumination and hating myself and contemplating suicide and attempting suicide. Have my ocd and depression chant over and over to smash my head into the wall or floor. Wanting to scrape off my skin. Constantly confused. Losing my sense of being, my sense of life. Forgetting what the sun feels like. What seasons are like. What it feels like to be peacefully happy. I can’t catch a break even when I’m sleeping my mind is torturing me, confusing me. I feel broken, I feel gutted, I feel like a disgusting pile of mush and misery. I feel repulsive. I see myself in the mirror and feel disconnected and disgusted. ocd in general has ruined my sad life.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I feel every word of this. I had a panic attack on the ride home and wanted to crawl out of my skin. I have a minor ear infection and it's had me fucked up too because I'm dramatic. Either way I'm glad we are still here. Be kind to yourself.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I have experienced everything you have just described, I still am, just last night was the first time I have SERIOUSLY contemplated suicide and was wondering how I would do it, I felt as if my life was not worth anything, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Relationship OCD is fucking me up so much. I've only had toxic flings with other men and never had rocd with them. Now I have the most healthy, loving and beautiful boyfriend ever and I have urges to break up with him, cheat and runaway from him. It makes me feel like I don't deserve healthy relationships and I'm doomed to be unhappy in love.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Me as well, I’m bisexual and stared using Grindr a lot and exchanged a lot of photos with other men and regret a lot of it, it was gross doing that with strangers and men far older then me
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I get sexually weird or incredibly gruesome images. It was hard for me because I grew up in the Bible belt. I didn't know how to interpret me being straight but having weird sexual intrusive thoughts at super inconvenient times. I still am trying to loosen the death grip that my thoughts have no roots in me just because they happen to be the noise my brain is emitting at that specific moment. I worked as a public defender, and some of the images/thoughts I get are vivid to the point of disgust. It's a fucked up mental illness, but it helps me so much to talk about it because I kept it all to myself for so long. It's also cathartic to know that others struggle similarly, and I'm not alone.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
You’re definitely not alone, I struggle a lot with sexual intrusive thoughts and images
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@OCDHaver It makes me avoid conversation and have heightened awareness of any perceived social anxiety by the unfortunate soul that happens to be talking to me when I imagine something really weird. I know I make a physical grimace at some of these images or have other physical almost involuntary reactions to the images. I don't want anything to do with them.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Not the most difficult or prevalent, but the most disturbing thoughts are absolutely the ones around pedophilia and beastiality. Always the what ifs. The worst was when I convinced myself to not have children because I thought I would touch them inappropriately. After a lot of working on my mental health, I realize just how irrational that thinking was.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I am seriously considering having children as well for the same reasons, I’ve decided that I’m not dating anytime in the next 5 years for fear of sexually assaulting someone, I would never want to hurt anyone and am scared that I will, I have never hurt anyone like that, but I’m terrified I might one day
- Date posted
- 3y ago
POCD and Real Event OCD
- Date posted
- 3y ago
These are my biggest themes as well combined with false memory OCD, it’s the absolute worst, it drives me insane and has me at my absolute lowest
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@OCDHaver Same here unfortunately
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Harm ocd is my worst one. It constantly tries to convince me that I am a violent person and want to do something harmful or asks me why I haven’t yet. It’s terrible, all my life I’ve focused on being a good person. I don’t understand where this is coming from and why it’s so believable. But I don’t wanna give into it ever
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
POCD combined with false memory. It makes me feel like a monster!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
me too!!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Sexual orientation ocd, but i feel like ive had rocd as well in the past now that i look back at how i coped with them.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’m sorry you’re going through that, OCD is horrible
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Gender Identity OCD. Just having everything about my identity shredded, doubting all of my wants in likes, feeling like a man in my head near constantly, worrying that it’s true but also worrying that I’m not worried and that I do want it. It’s really got me in it’s clutches right now
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w ago
I, like so many others, have had ocd for most of my life. I have had many themes throughout my life. I am a mom and have had harm and pocd as well. For me those have been the most difficult and most painful themes. I have seen many people post on this app and they have had some pretty horrible and disturbing intrusive thoughts or false memories and real events ect. much worse than mine and I have never judged anyone because I know how bad ocd and intrusive thoughts can get. I had someone comment on a post I made recently asking me if I even have ocd insinuating it’s not ocd and i’m a actually just a pedo. That upset me so much because anyone who has experienced pocd knows how horrific and disturbing the intrusive thoughts can get and how opposite of who we really are ocd is. Our ocd already makes us doubt ourselves so to have a fellow sufferer of ocd say something like that can be so damaging. So many people are afraid to seek help or post on apps like this out of fear of being judged so we have to be mindful of what we comment. This person, after reading their bio has never experienced that theme and so they have no idea what it’s like or how bad it can get. I am writing this post because I think we need to be more understanding of those who suffer with themes we haven’t and not be judgmental especially if we don’t know them or their ocd story and what they have been through. I beat my ocd and for years I was ocd free until a recent stressful situation in my life and it came back and has been relentless and worse than ever before. I have had so many kind people give me great support on this app and I give support as much as I can when I see posts of others going through similar things as me. Be kind and think before you comment.
- Date posted
- 14w ago
Hi everyone, I wanted to reach out to see if anyone else has experienced something similar with OCD and intrusive thoughts. I’ve been struggling during moments of intimacy because intrusive thoughts, particularly ones related to POCD, feel so ‘sticky’—like they’re all I can picture. Even though I really want the thoughts to go away, they persist, and I’ve been trying not to avoid intimacy because of them. However, that makes me feel like I’m somehow ‘enjoying’ the thoughts or images, which I really dislike. It’s like my brain is playing this awful trick, and it’s leaving me feeling confused and gross. I guess I’m supposed to not let the thoughts bother me and continue as if nothing’s wrong, but I’m scared that by doing so, I’m almost training myself to get off to them or something. This fear makes it so hard to trust myself in those moments, and it’s been overwhelming. If anyone else has been through this, how do you handle it?
- Date posted
- 9w ago
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond