- Username
- OCDHaver
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Pocd and moral ocd. HIGHKEY ruined my life. Effects every minute of everyday. Creeps into my nightmares. Hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours if rumination and hating myself and contemplating suicide and attempting suicide. Have my ocd and depression chant over and over to smash my head into the wall or floor. Wanting to scrape off my skin. Constantly confused. Losing my sense of being, my sense of life. Forgetting what the sun feels like. What seasons are like. What it feels like to be peacefully happy. I can’t catch a break even when I’m sleeping my mind is torturing me, confusing me. I feel broken, I feel gutted, I feel like a disgusting pile of mush and misery. I feel repulsive. I see myself in the mirror and feel disconnected and disgusted. ocd in general has ruined my sad life.
I feel every word of this. I had a panic attack on the ride home and wanted to crawl out of my skin. I have a minor ear infection and it's had me fucked up too because I'm dramatic. Either way I'm glad we are still here. Be kind to yourself.
I have experienced everything you have just described, I still am, just last night was the first time I have SERIOUSLY contemplated suicide and was wondering how I would do it, I felt as if my life was not worth anything, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here
Relationship OCD is fucking me up so much. I've only had toxic flings with other men and never had rocd with them. Now I have the most healthy, loving and beautiful boyfriend ever and I have urges to break up with him, cheat and runaway from him. It makes me feel like I don't deserve healthy relationships and I'm doomed to be unhappy in love.
Me as well, I’m bisexual and stared using Grindr a lot and exchanged a lot of photos with other men and regret a lot of it, it was gross doing that with strangers and men far older then me
I get sexually weird or incredibly gruesome images. It was hard for me because I grew up in the Bible belt. I didn't know how to interpret me being straight but having weird sexual intrusive thoughts at super inconvenient times. I still am trying to loosen the death grip that my thoughts have no roots in me just because they happen to be the noise my brain is emitting at that specific moment. I worked as a public defender, and some of the images/thoughts I get are vivid to the point of disgust. It's a fucked up mental illness, but it helps me so much to talk about it because I kept it all to myself for so long. It's also cathartic to know that others struggle similarly, and I'm not alone.
You’re definitely not alone, I struggle a lot with sexual intrusive thoughts and images
@OCDHaver It makes me avoid conversation and have heightened awareness of any perceived social anxiety by the unfortunate soul that happens to be talking to me when I imagine something really weird. I know I make a physical grimace at some of these images or have other physical almost involuntary reactions to the images. I don't want anything to do with them.
Not the most difficult or prevalent, but the most disturbing thoughts are absolutely the ones around pedophilia and beastiality. Always the what ifs. The worst was when I convinced myself to not have children because I thought I would touch them inappropriately. After a lot of working on my mental health, I realize just how irrational that thinking was.
I am seriously considering having children as well for the same reasons, I’ve decided that I’m not dating anytime in the next 5 years for fear of sexually assaulting someone, I would never want to hurt anyone and am scared that I will, I have never hurt anyone like that, but I’m terrified I might one day
POCD and Real Event OCD
These are my biggest themes as well combined with false memory OCD, it’s the absolute worst, it drives me insane and has me at my absolute lowest
@OCDHaver Same here unfortunately
Harm ocd is my worst one. It constantly tries to convince me that I am a violent person and want to do something harmful or asks me why I haven’t yet. It’s terrible, all my life I’ve focused on being a good person. I don’t understand where this is coming from and why it’s so believable. But I don’t wanna give into it ever
POCD combined with false memory. It makes me feel like a monster!
me too!!
Sexual orientation ocd, but i feel like ive had rocd as well in the past now that i look back at how i coped with them.
I’m sorry you’re going through that, OCD is horrible
Gender Identity OCD. Just having everything about my identity shredded, doubting all of my wants in likes, feeling like a man in my head near constantly, worrying that it’s true but also worrying that I’m not worried and that I do want it. It’s really got me in it’s clutches right now
Any tips on this theme? Some of my thoughts with this them are bizarre. To someone who has been through it what did you do ab your thoughts
So who here has intrusive thoughts about going insane or ending up in a mental hospital or just general fear of having anxiety and then get anxiety? Or fear of going out to events or places with family or friends and having intense anxiety? I don't see many people saying they have this. Intrigued to know.
I think this is the hardest theme I’ve dealt with, it feels so real & the thoughts/sensations are so strong. The thought that really stumps me is when my OCD tells me that I don’t want to live anymore & that I don’t like the life that I have & it’s fueled by a ton of anxiety. If you’ve went through this & got through it please tell me how, I feel like I have to react to my thoughts or something bad will happen.
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