- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
That's OCD for you , brutally attacking what you love and value I know how scary and exhausting it is , all I can say is don't let ocd stop you from doing what you want and loving what you do , The best thing to do is to acknowledge that it's OCD and stop fighting it , go on with whatever you were doing before
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you and yeah it is scary and exhausting I just had a cry and I feel a lot better lol
- Date posted
- 3y
@🌧☕️ Yeah I cry so much too lol I cry when I have intrusive thoughts because they make me feel so angry and hurt Literally so annoying
- Date posted
- 3y
@zzha Yeah same but when I cry it feels like a release
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s seems to me that you are clinging on to the thought that love is supposed to be a feeling when really it’s an action. This was hard for me to understand the first time I heard it. What you do or are willing to do for your partner determines your love for them. The love you give to your boyfriend isn’t for you to feel… it’s for him to feel and the same thing goes for the love he gives to you. The mind is very powerful and can make you experience emotions as if the thoughts and images you see have already happened. I’ve struggled with many types of OCD…. ROCD being one of them and I can tell you the fact that you not feeling the same way you felt last week causes you so much distress… you love him. Cause if you didn’t love him you would be okay with these thoughts and images you are experiencing. This feeling is temporary and usually short lived… though in some cases it’s an on and off feeling or happens for long periods at a time.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah I’ve been understanding about love isnt a feeling it’s an action it does make sense. I just love him so much he’s the best person ever and rocd makes it hard but when these rocd feelings go I feel the love for him even stronger it’s just when these rocd thoughts and stuff come into my mind and play tricks on me it breaks me down but I just need to remember it’s rocd and these are just thoughts not facts no matter how real They feel
- Date posted
- 3y
Sorry to hear this. Doing exposure therapy and learning to tolerate the distress the ROCD causes should help over time. I also agree that the framing of "love as action" can help a lot with ROCD since feelings are less of a reliable indicator for us. Even when you are feeling anxious or not feeling loving, if you are able to still act out your love and treat your partner well then that is very powerful. Over time I'm sure you can open up to them and discuss the OCD as well. I have ROCD which was scary before I knew what was happening but we're addressing it and got engaged last month! Keep your chin up!
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah when I’m feeling anxious and rocd is just going crazy I still show love to my bf which actually makes me feel better slightly
- Date posted
- 3y
This makes so much sense, I do so many acts of love... And yet I get frustrated when not feeling love 😖 thank u
- Date posted
- 3y
Also congrats on getting engaged!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I would say to try your best to not analyze by placing your attention elsewhere as it can lead to emotional reasoning. It really begins with consistently practicing foundational steps whatever that looks like for you. Educating yourself, learning with a NOCD therapist, attending webinars, etc. I read an article yesterday by a Dr. Greenberg about rumination and it really covers how even asking things like this are typically forms of rumination and analyzing. So instead how about you sit with the doubt, discomfort, anxiety, and get back to whatever it is you were doing before. Were you reading, eating, exercising?… good, go and do something for yourself, not to avoid thoughts…but to focus on what actually matters to you.
- Date posted
- 3y
On YouTube the Awaken into love videos really helped me develop a new outlook which helped to calm me down in situations like this. Try not to use them as reassurance tho.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve watched a few video and they did help
- Date posted
- 3y
Oh man... I am going through the same... Sometimes I enjoy our time.. and sometimes my emotions and thoughts take over and I can not enjoy anything at all. I feel anxious around him all day everyday (through text or seeing him irl). I truly hate this... I know how much I love him and I used to enjoy being with him so much. How long have u guys been together? Cause in long term relationships u don't really feel the love all the time or feel connected
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s pretty much been a year we didn’t actually meet face to face until may time this year because of covid lockdown so it was difficult but yes I relate to you a lot it just sucks
- Date posted
- 3y
@🌧☕️ I'm so sorry you are going through this... It rly sucks a lot. I hope we get through this and kick rocd in the ass. Are u talking with a therapist or rocd coach/ specialist?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Exseii Sadly no it’s just hard to find a therapist that knows what ocd is but tbh I am dealing with it by myself but I just need that extra help with a therapist
- Date posted
- 3y
@🌧☕️ Same ): my therapist knows about my condition and wants to sent me to a more specialist anxiety therapist that knows about OCD and ERP. Can't u get therapy on NOCD or get help from an anxiety coach or specialist? I am having a conversation tomorrow with a coach to see what she can help me with. (:
- Date posted
- 3y
@Exseii Tbh I am scared to go to therapy because I don’t want to see a therapist that doesn’t know about ocd and tells me the wrong things that’s one of my fears and I’ve had bad experiences with therapists in the passed because they never helped me with my anxieties so I’ve lost trust in them
- Date posted
- 3y
@🌧☕️ I understand... I think NOCD won't tell you those things, NOCD had a rly good rating. Not sure where Ur from tho...
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
- Date posted
- 15w
i have what i think is rocd, at least many people here told me i do. im going through the worst period ever, my thoughts feel real, i feel like i dont have any feelings for my boyfriend, that i am in denial , that i am a liar, i cant remember how it feels like to love him, my memories with him are distorted. I feel like i never loved him and i was just coping , acting like i do because i could not accept the reality. I see many people saying that once they are with their partner they feel better but it dosent help, when i am with him i still have thoughts and horible feelings. i dont know what to do anymore. I have this problem for over a year and a half, and rn it feels the worst ever. Everything feels urgent and terrifyingly real. I keep thinking that maybe when the thoughts first started, I actually realized I didn’t love him — but I kept saying “no, it can’t be, I love him,” just to deny the truth. And now I feel like I’m only holding on to a false idea I created in my head. I don’t feel love, just pressure, panic, and confusion. I told ChatGPT that I feel numb next to him, I can’t imagine a future with him, nothing feels like it used to, and I’m scared I was only ever excited about the idea of love — not him. Please, I just want this pain to stop.
- Date posted
- 13w
I have had ocd in my relationship for a while now. When I originally met him it was like this insane spiritual soulmate feeling and we just clicked instantly and he never judged me. I’m scared cause when I picture breaking up with my boyfriend I see myself being ok and being sad but moving on which I never was able to see before doesn’t this mean that this is what would happen or I don’t know till it happens? I still can’t imagine what life would be like without him but I just feel like I have lost feelings that I never wanted to lose. plus that’s also when I just picture knowing how people move on and how I’d just have to move on without letting myself picture processing the losses of all. I’m just really scared cause I used to think of wanting other things in someone else and what it would be like but I just thought how nice it would be to have it and not actually meaning it bc every time I thought about it I got upset and now it feels diff. He knows I have ocd but I never explained the ROCD because I thought it would have offended him so every time I went through a flare up I never told and acted like I was fine and it kept happening and OCD kept getting worse and worse. Maybe that’s part of the issue cause I haven’t been feeling like myself. But this is a feeling I never wanted to feel ever with him. I have gone through the feeling of numb but not like this. And he has a lot of positives but I can only see him overall as negatives and I’ve been told that’s ocd but it’s affecting how I feel. And yes there are legit actual things in the relationship that upset me but ocd has been affecting the way I look at him also. I keep being told my judgment is being impaired but this time it rly feels like not. And I’m Scared why don’t memories and things affect me like it used to doesn’t that mean I want this. Has anyone experienced this or is this the end 😭
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