- Username
- 🌧☕️
- Date posted
- 3y ago
That's OCD for you , brutally attacking what you love and value I know how scary and exhausting it is , all I can say is don't let ocd stop you from doing what you want and loving what you do , The best thing to do is to acknowledge that it's OCD and stop fighting it , go on with whatever you were doing before
Thank you and yeah it is scary and exhausting I just had a cry and I feel a lot better lol
@🌧☕️ Yeah I cry so much too lol I cry when I have intrusive thoughts because they make me feel so angry and hurt Literally so annoying
@zzha Yeah same but when I cry it feels like a release
It’s seems to me that you are clinging on to the thought that love is supposed to be a feeling when really it’s an action. This was hard for me to understand the first time I heard it. What you do or are willing to do for your partner determines your love for them. The love you give to your boyfriend isn’t for you to feel… it’s for him to feel and the same thing goes for the love he gives to you. The mind is very powerful and can make you experience emotions as if the thoughts and images you see have already happened. I’ve struggled with many types of OCD…. ROCD being one of them and I can tell you the fact that you not feeling the same way you felt last week causes you so much distress… you love him. Cause if you didn’t love him you would be okay with these thoughts and images you are experiencing. This feeling is temporary and usually short lived… though in some cases it’s an on and off feeling or happens for long periods at a time.
Yeah I’ve been understanding about love isnt a feeling it’s an action it does make sense. I just love him so much he’s the best person ever and rocd makes it hard but when these rocd feelings go I feel the love for him even stronger it’s just when these rocd thoughts and stuff come into my mind and play tricks on me it breaks me down but I just need to remember it’s rocd and these are just thoughts not facts no matter how real They feel
Sorry to hear this. Doing exposure therapy and learning to tolerate the distress the ROCD causes should help over time. I also agree that the framing of "love as action" can help a lot with ROCD since feelings are less of a reliable indicator for us. Even when you are feeling anxious or not feeling loving, if you are able to still act out your love and treat your partner well then that is very powerful. Over time I'm sure you can open up to them and discuss the OCD as well. I have ROCD which was scary before I knew what was happening but we're addressing it and got engaged last month! Keep your chin up!
Yeah when I’m feeling anxious and rocd is just going crazy I still show love to my bf which actually makes me feel better slightly
This makes so much sense, I do so many acts of love... And yet I get frustrated when not feeling love 😖 thank u
Also congrats on getting engaged!!
I would say to try your best to not analyze by placing your attention elsewhere as it can lead to emotional reasoning. It really begins with consistently practicing foundational steps whatever that looks like for you. Educating yourself, learning with a NOCD therapist, attending webinars, etc. I read an article yesterday by a Dr. Greenberg about rumination and it really covers how even asking things like this are typically forms of rumination and analyzing. So instead how about you sit with the doubt, discomfort, anxiety, and get back to whatever it is you were doing before. Were you reading, eating, exercising?… good, go and do something for yourself, not to avoid thoughts…but to focus on what actually matters to you.
On YouTube the Awaken into love videos really helped me develop a new outlook which helped to calm me down in situations like this. Try not to use them as reassurance tho.
I’ve watched a few video and they did help
Oh man... I am going through the same... Sometimes I enjoy our time.. and sometimes my emotions and thoughts take over and I can not enjoy anything at all. I feel anxious around him all day everyday (through text or seeing him irl). I truly hate this... I know how much I love him and I used to enjoy being with him so much. How long have u guys been together? Cause in long term relationships u don't really feel the love all the time or feel connected
It’s pretty much been a year we didn’t actually meet face to face until may time this year because of covid lockdown so it was difficult but yes I relate to you a lot it just sucks
@🌧☕️ I'm so sorry you are going through this... It rly sucks a lot. I hope we get through this and kick rocd in the ass. Are u talking with a therapist or rocd coach/ specialist?
@Exseii Sadly no it’s just hard to find a therapist that knows what ocd is but tbh I am dealing with it by myself but I just need that extra help with a therapist
@🌧☕️ Same ): my therapist knows about my condition and wants to sent me to a more specialist anxiety therapist that knows about OCD and ERP. Can't u get therapy on NOCD or get help from an anxiety coach or specialist? I am having a conversation tomorrow with a coach to see what she can help me with. (:
@Exseii Tbh I am scared to go to therapy because I don’t want to see a therapist that doesn’t know about ocd and tells me the wrong things that’s one of my fears and I’ve had bad experiences with therapists in the passed because they never helped me with my anxieties so I’ve lost trust in them
@🌧☕️ I understand... I think NOCD won't tell you those things, NOCD had a rly good rating. Not sure where Ur from tho...
Hey guys so I was having good days last week . I was feeling connected towards my partner and felt the feeling of being in “love” again . On Thursday those feelings started to go away again and I don’t feel as anxious and now I’m starting to get intrusive thoughts that just love to stick . These thoughts are telling me that since I don’t feel anxious about these thoughts they must mean they’re true about my relationship and that I should leave . It makes me loose hope every time that I’ll get better . Does anyone else experience this ? Does anyone have any advice ? I’m really trying and when I think I’m almost there something happens in my head and I get depressed again :/
I’ve been with my bf for 8 months and really love him. Recently though my ROCD has been insane. I can’t stop thinking about breaking up with him and have this feeling that he isn’t the one for me. But when I’m with him the feeling subsides and I feel happy most of the time (no relationship is perfect). I’ve had moments of such intense dread and anxiety from this I just want to blurt out and say I want to break up when I don’t even. It’s almost like I feel there will be huge sense of relief once I do..it’s the worst at night. But then I think about not having him in my life and it feels even more dreadful . And even if I am having some real doubts that aren’t anxiety it is not at all close to the point of a break up convo. Does anyone have any good exercises or suggestions to make this stop?
My rocd flared up around the time my girlfriend and i were starting the process of getting an apartment. At the start, I was very excited and so happy to be moving together. then my mind kept thinking “she’s not going to let you have any say in anything, she doesn’t want you decorating, you guys don’t like the same things” and i started to believe that, which eventually led to me saying all that. and from there on, it gradually got worse. I started having thoughts like “do i even love her? am i in love with her? having i been faking it this entire time? do i have feelings for anymore? etc” and then i would have thoughts of breaking up and i’d get so anxious. now i wake up every morning thinking “i don’t love her, i don’t want to be in a relationship with her” and i get sooooo anxious. i know i love her, i know i don’t want to break up with her, i know the apartment is something i genuinely want, i just can’t feel any of it right now. every time i think of breaking up, i try to imagine my life without her and it doesn’t seem right. i genuinely can’t imagine not being with her. my feelings and thoughts before all this were very much happy and healthy, like i was smitten but now my thoughts affect me everyday, they’re all i think about. it’s all i research, i talk about it too much to other people, the thoughts are making me feel like i’m faking everything. does anyone have tips. i just want to feel like i used to feel
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