Tillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
lmls1305lmls1305
- Date posted
- 3y
Same. I also hate it when people tell me to trust my gut. I feel like I can't trust it because of my ocd
k-low k-low
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah that's a very unhelpful phrase. Just ignore it
linds💕linds💕
- Date posted
- 3y
Same!! I used to be really into “spirituality” and angel numbers were a big trigger for me same with intuition.
sunset461sunset461
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous OMG you're not alone!! It triggers me so much too!!
k-low k-low
- Date posted
- 3y
I know that feeling very well. It's weird how feeling like we don't love someone causes us immense distress, which doesn't make sense. If I don't love someone I don't care what I'm feeling. That said one of my rumination topics is my emotional numbness and feeling like I don't care. But regarding the IG quotes: use them as ERP!!! Instead of being scared of it, seek them out, agree with them until you feel your anxiety go down. It's the only way ❤️ U got this ;)
JB1020JB1020
- Date posted
- 3y
I have also found that the typical sayings in this area aren't helpful for those with ROCD. I once saw a tweet that said "if you can't decide, the answer is no" and it bugged me a lot and gave me anxiety. Keep working on improving with your OCD therapy and things will start to get more clear. If you want things to work out and if the idea of breaking up is anxiety provoking... those could be good signs that you really do want the relationship and/or love your boyfriend. Something that has helped me is committing to act a certain way or do a certain thing - say "I love you", give hugs, purposely do not avoid my partner, do activities together - even if I am feeling anxious from OCD. Feelings aren't reliable if ROCD is active for me so actions speak louder. Good luck.
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes I 100% agree with you and when I read other people’s comments in their ROCD I can see it’s ROCD and I can give the right advice I think when you’re in the middle of it yourself it’s that much harder to take the advice on board and not doubt -but yeah I guess it is called the doubting disorder for a reason lol! I also find I feel sick before meeting my boyfriend but I am trying to be there for him regardless
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
My ROCD is just so bad today I’m glued to my bed I have no energy for this ah , I don’t know how we cope with this :’)
lmls1305lmls1305
- Date posted
- 3y
I have days like that too. I'm having a hard one today. You're not alone ❤️
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
@lmls1305 My prayers are with you too🙏🏻
lmls1305lmls1305
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tillyyyx Thank you!
Brian K.Brian K.
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi Tillyyyx, I can relate ROCD makes it hard to be in a relationship sometimes, as well as before and after with the incessant doubt it causes and what if rabbit holes. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone down the unending road of “does she really love me?” “Is she mad at me?” “Why didn’t she’s respond…lemme check one more time…” “Maybe it’s all in my head…” and driven myself nauseous and unable to sleep. I have definitely had those not wanting to get out of bed days from my OCD as well. My ERP with my other subtypes has definitely helped me cope better with my ROCD, it does not rear its ugly head nearly as much as it used to. And don’t worry, I will spare you from using any cop-out lines about relationships, because there is no 100% knowing for sure that you will have a fairy tale ending with your current or another partner, no matter much OCD wants you to give it a definitive answer. The only thing you can do is treat your ROCD intrusive thoughts like your other intrusive thoughts and not dwell on them and live with the uncertainty that you may or may not be with the “right” person for you. All you can do is do your best to live your life the best you can, for you, not your OCD, and if more often than not you are not happy or cannot be yourself with your partner or if you imagine not being with them and that thoughts makes you feel relief or a sense of peace or happiness…that may tell you something. I will say in my case that with my current fiancé, she is the only girlfriend I have ever had where my ROCD has never really flared up and the intrusive thoughts about whether she loves me or if we should be together, etc…are barely a blip on my radar, which is completely new for me. Maybe it’s because I met her after I had already started ERP, or maybe my OCD knows it can’t shake me on this one…. In any event, hang in there, stay strong against your ROCD, take care and best wishes.
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
And yeah the numbness is scaring me even more than the obsessive thoughts now cause at least the obsessive thoughts I’ve gotten used to but the numbness I haven’t worked that one out yet haha
k-low k-low
- Date posted
- 3y
That's probably the hardest. I think an important step is accepting that you will feel numb sometimes.
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
@k-low Thanks for your help I’m going to get through this even if it feels impossible !
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for your helpful comment ! You’re definetly right that there will always be uncertainty and you can’t magic your way into certainty through obsessive thoughts and ruminating lol! I don’t think that ROCD means you are a wrong relationship though , I think ocd is just the doubting disorder in general and so it attacks what we care most about ! Still I’m glad that you are not getting these thoughts with your current girlfriend, ERP does really work :)
Related posts
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 15w
my chest hurts.
feel like I’ve been stuck in this ROCD cycle for so long that I don’t even know what’s real anymore. Everything feels so heavy and confusing. I keep having thoughts like “I don’t love him,” “I never really did,” “I’m just used to him,” or “I’m staying out of guilt or fear.” They come with a strong emotional pull that makes it feel like I’m finally facing some ‘truth’ — but I don’t even know what that truth is. Even when things are going well with my boyfriend — when he’s loving, caring, affectionate — I still feel disconnected, like I can’t feel love or calmness. And then I feel guilty for not feeling what I think I should feel. I overthink everything: memories, how I used to feel, how I feel now, what I might feel tomorrow. I can’t tell if I’m just scared to lose him or if I’m trying to force something that isn’t there. I’ve read so much about ROCD and I know I’m supposed to sit with the thoughts and let them pass, but sometimes they feel so real that I don’t know how to keep going. Sometimes I even feel numb and that scares me too — like if I don’t react with panic, it must be true. I just want peace. I want clarity. I want to stop analyzing and doubting every moment. Has anyone else felt this way? How do you sit with this and not spiral? Thank you so much for reading. 💔
user36373738
- Date posted
- 15w
I’m really struggling
My brain keeps comparing how I felt then with the same thoughts to now and how it is diff now to prove it had changed. I’m feeling like I know it isn’t right and that maybe I’d pair better and I want to be with someone who is good for me but I also don’t want to break up and can’t tell if that’s the ocd using his faults against me. I feel like if I were to tell someone I have no feelings at all for him anymore I’d know I’d be lying and doesn’t feel right but when I say the opposite it doesn’t feel right either. I’m also worried that this time it is real and it’s the guilt of not telling him that’s making the ocd worse not that it’s just ROCD. My thoughts are also saying so many diff things I’m confused. It feels like I can’t connect to him anymore or like I don’t have empathy which scares me cause I know I did before and I felt it but is it just that I’m frustrated w some of the issues? But it’s upsetting it feels like I don’t have the endearing feelings and love I felt and I want it to come back but then I also think I don’t cause then it will prevent be from seeing what else is out there And the thing is looking back on how it was I feel like I could def see how that was ocd but this is different… and like I at least felt I knew I loved him or wanted to be with him and i had thoughts of wanting to be with someone who this or someone who this but I didn’t actually want it and now it feels like this time I rly do mean it like I want to find better qualities but I still don’t wanna move on from him and my brain is like wel that’s how everyone feels when they breakup regardless…it rly doesn’t feel like ocd anymore 😭 and my thoughts keep saying if you don’t you don’t like this or that and it most likely won’t change cause you have been with him so long why are you with him and then I feel guilty like I need to tell him
cmax20
- Date posted
- 14w
ROCD
for a few days now I’ve been super anxious about my relationship. I’ve been anxious about it before but lately it’s been worse than normal. I’m in a very healthy and loving relationship, I love my boyfriend so much and he treats me so so well. The only thing is that I’ve been having scary thoughts that what if I’m lying to him and don’t actually love him? What if I don’t find him attractive? And like what if the only way to stop being anxious is to break up with him? I don’t want to leave him and I am so scared. I feel like I’m lying to him by not telling him what’s going on because he might think I’m actually going to leave him, which I’m really not going to. I have had anxiety since before we started dating and incestual and sexual ocd, then I got into a point where I started having religious ocd, and now I have ROCD on top of that I think. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m going to therapy and figuring things out but I’m so scared. Idk what to do and I feel like if I talk to anyone they’re going to say I have to leave him.
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