- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Same. I also hate it when people tell me to trust my gut. I feel like I can't trust it because of my ocd
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah that's a very unhelpful phrase. Just ignore it
- Date posted
- 3y
Same!! I used to be really into “spirituality” and angel numbers were a big trigger for me same with intuition.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous OMG you're not alone!! It triggers me so much too!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I know that feeling very well. It's weird how feeling like we don't love someone causes us immense distress, which doesn't make sense. If I don't love someone I don't care what I'm feeling. That said one of my rumination topics is my emotional numbness and feeling like I don't care. But regarding the IG quotes: use them as ERP!!! Instead of being scared of it, seek them out, agree with them until you feel your anxiety go down. It's the only way ❤️ U got this ;)
- Date posted
- 3y
I have also found that the typical sayings in this area aren't helpful for those with ROCD. I once saw a tweet that said "if you can't decide, the answer is no" and it bugged me a lot and gave me anxiety. Keep working on improving with your OCD therapy and things will start to get more clear. If you want things to work out and if the idea of breaking up is anxiety provoking... those could be good signs that you really do want the relationship and/or love your boyfriend. Something that has helped me is committing to act a certain way or do a certain thing - say "I love you", give hugs, purposely do not avoid my partner, do activities together - even if I am feeling anxious from OCD. Feelings aren't reliable if ROCD is active for me so actions speak louder. Good luck.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes I 100% agree with you and when I read other people’s comments in their ROCD I can see it’s ROCD and I can give the right advice I think when you’re in the middle of it yourself it’s that much harder to take the advice on board and not doubt -but yeah I guess it is called the doubting disorder for a reason lol! I also find I feel sick before meeting my boyfriend but I am trying to be there for him regardless
- Date posted
- 3y
My ROCD is just so bad today I’m glued to my bed I have no energy for this ah , I don’t know how we cope with this :’)
- Date posted
- 3y
I have days like that too. I'm having a hard one today. You're not alone ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
@lmls1305 My prayers are with you too🙏🏻
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tillyyyx Thank you!
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi Tillyyyx, I can relate ROCD makes it hard to be in a relationship sometimes, as well as before and after with the incessant doubt it causes and what if rabbit holes. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone down the unending road of “does she really love me?” “Is she mad at me?” “Why didn’t she’s respond…lemme check one more time…” “Maybe it’s all in my head…” and driven myself nauseous and unable to sleep. I have definitely had those not wanting to get out of bed days from my OCD as well. My ERP with my other subtypes has definitely helped me cope better with my ROCD, it does not rear its ugly head nearly as much as it used to. And don’t worry, I will spare you from using any cop-out lines about relationships, because there is no 100% knowing for sure that you will have a fairy tale ending with your current or another partner, no matter much OCD wants you to give it a definitive answer. The only thing you can do is treat your ROCD intrusive thoughts like your other intrusive thoughts and not dwell on them and live with the uncertainty that you may or may not be with the “right” person for you. All you can do is do your best to live your life the best you can, for you, not your OCD, and if more often than not you are not happy or cannot be yourself with your partner or if you imagine not being with them and that thoughts makes you feel relief or a sense of peace or happiness…that may tell you something. I will say in my case that with my current fiancé, she is the only girlfriend I have ever had where my ROCD has never really flared up and the intrusive thoughts about whether she loves me or if we should be together, etc…are barely a blip on my radar, which is completely new for me. Maybe it’s because I met her after I had already started ERP, or maybe my OCD knows it can’t shake me on this one…. In any event, hang in there, stay strong against your ROCD, take care and best wishes.
- Date posted
- 3y
And yeah the numbness is scaring me even more than the obsessive thoughts now cause at least the obsessive thoughts I’ve gotten used to but the numbness I haven’t worked that one out yet haha
- Date posted
- 3y
That's probably the hardest. I think an important step is accepting that you will feel numb sometimes.
- Date posted
- 3y
@k-low Thanks for your help I’m going to get through this even if it feels impossible !
- Date posted
- 3y
Thanks for your helpful comment ! You’re definetly right that there will always be uncertainty and you can’t magic your way into certainty through obsessive thoughts and ruminating lol! I don’t think that ROCD means you are a wrong relationship though , I think ocd is just the doubting disorder in general and so it attacks what we care most about ! Still I’m glad that you are not getting these thoughts with your current girlfriend, ERP does really work :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
- Date posted
- 13w
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
- Date posted
- 7w
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
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