I see all these quotes about relationships on Instagram saying don’t waste time on someone whose not right and if you love someone you know etc and it’s stressing me out like it makes me feel so guilty and I’m trying so hard to get over ROCD but I’m so scared about finding out that I should just end things because I want to be honest with my boyfriend I don’t want to find out I do t have ROCD and it’s really just not right between us it makes me feel sick cause I want it to work out so bad :(

Same. I also hate it when people tell me to trust my gut. I feel like I can't trust it because of my ocd

I know that feeling very well. It's weird how feeling like we don't love someone causes us immense distress, which doesn't make sense. If I don't love someone I don't care what I'm feeling. That said one of my rumination topics is my emotional numbness and feeling like I don't care. But regarding the IG quotes: use them as ERP!!! Instead of being scared of it, seek them out, agree with them until you feel your anxiety go down. It's the only way ❤️ U got this ;)

I have also found that the typical sayings in this area aren't helpful for those with ROCD. I once saw a tweet that said "if you can't decide, the answer is no" and it bugged me a lot and gave me anxiety. Keep working on improving with your OCD therapy and things will start to get more clear. If you want things to work out and if the idea of breaking up is anxiety provoking... those could be good signs that you really do want the relationship and/or love your boyfriend. Something that has helped me is committing to act a certain way or do a certain thing - say "I love you", give hugs, purposely do not avoid my partner, do activities together - even if I am feeling anxious from OCD. Feelings aren't reliable if ROCD is active for me so actions speak louder. Good luck.

My ROCD is just so bad today I’m glued to my bed I have no energy for this ah , I don’t know how we cope with this :’)

Hi Tillyyyx, I can relate ROCD makes it hard to be in a relationship sometimes, as well as before and after with the incessant doubt it causes and what if rabbit holes. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone down the unending road of “does she really love me?” “Is she mad at me?” “Why didn’t she’s respond…lemme check one more time…” “Maybe it’s all in my head…” and driven myself nauseous and unable to sleep. I have definitely had those not wanting to get out of bed days from my OCD as well. My ERP with my other subtypes has definitely helped me cope better with my ROCD, it does not rear its ugly head nearly as much as it used to. And don’t worry, I will spare you from using any cop-out lines about relationships, because there is no 100% knowing for sure that you will have a fairy tale ending with your current or another partner, no matter much OCD wants you to give it a definitive answer. The only thing you can do is treat your ROCD intrusive thoughts like your other intrusive thoughts and not dwell on them and live with the uncertainty that you may or may not be with the “right” person for you. All you can do is do your best to live your life the best you can, for you, not your OCD, and if more often than not you are not happy or cannot be yourself with your partner or if you imagine not being with them and that thoughts makes you feel relief or a sense of peace or happiness…that may tell you something. I will say in my case that with my current fiancé, she is the only girlfriend I have ever had where my ROCD has never really flared up and the intrusive thoughts about whether she loves me or if we should be together, etc…are barely a blip on my radar, which is completely new for me. Maybe it’s because I met her after I had already started ERP, or maybe my OCD knows it can’t shake me on this one…. In any event, hang in there, stay strong against your ROCD, take care and best wishes.

And yeah the numbness is scaring me even more than the obsessive thoughts now cause at least the obsessive thoughts I’ve gotten used to but the numbness I haven’t worked that one out yet haha

Thanks for your helpful comment ! You’re definetly right that there will always be uncertainty and you can’t magic your way into certainty through obsessive thoughts and ruminating lol! I don’t think that ROCD means you are a wrong relationship though , I think ocd is just the doubting disorder in general and so it attacks what we care most about ! Still I’m glad that you are not getting these thoughts with your current girlfriend, ERP does really work :)