Ok this isn’t ROCD related whatsoever. I’m stressed and frustrated about other things too. No one needs to write or respond to this I am just venting since it’s about my friend and her freaking husband. We’ve been roommates for 5 years now. My husband and I are moving into my sister’s new home since she offered and we couldn’t find a place before January. Her husband which is my husband’s so called freaking friend has been pissed and angry and all we’ve been feeling is tension from him which is making things very uncomfortable before we have to move. We can’t move yet since my sister’s new place is having work done on it so it won’t be ready until the end of the month. I get it. We’ve been here long enough and they got married awhile back so they want the house to themselves again since they are more financially stable than us. We are not angry about that. We are angry bc of the freaking tension he is giving off. It’s really starting to piss me off. I just wish he would tell us what’s bothering him to get it over with and if he or my friend never wants to see us again JUST bc we are not at the same level as them in life than of the fuck well. I’m care about my friend we are close but I’m tired of her husband giving off this freaking tension that is adding extra stress. He has a huge freaking history for holding grudges. He will hate someone forever if they do something wrong to them and isn’t willing to talk it out with them. Like my friend told me her husband is upset with mine bc he doesn’t wanna hang out. My partner is stressed out depressed and honestly is just a homebody. The thing is they don’t talk shit out and he expects my partner to just know when he wants to hang out. Her husband has been busy with work, doing stuff with his music and hanging out with his other friends that he gets into annoyed with on occasions. I told my friend that if her husband is having issues with mine then he needs to talk to mine about it. I can’t do it for him or either can she. If he isn’t willing which sounds like he isn’t then what’s the point of bringing it up!? She said it isn’t upsetting him now but it must be upsetting him in some way if she had to bring it up in the first place. My friend and I get along perfectly fine but I can’t bring this up to her bc I don’t want things to get worse before we move out. I know them living with my ROCD hasn’t been great and lately I tried my best to stay far away from them. I even told her I don’t wanna bother her with my issues anymore but she tells me to let it out so I do. I even try to changed topic quickly by asking her how her new job is going. But my god her husband needs to either tell us what’s bothering him or just calm down with the tension. He will have his house back soon after 5 years. Oh he even gets upset that my partner doesn’t like to go drinking and going out to randomly places to hang. He even said he doesn’t bother to hang out with him while he is at home. Well it’s hard when her husband is busy or seems freaking angry all the time. My partner sure can be oblivious sometimes that’s just who he is but he knows and can feel the tension with his friend so he stays away for that purpose. Right now too with us moving he doesn’t even see hanging out with friends right now as top priority. I don’t even hang out with my friend that often just bc there are bigger things to worry about. Sure I hung out with her twice this month for like an hour 1/2. Socializing drains my energy so I don’t like to hang out that much unless I’m in the mood too. I wish I could be open about this with her but I can’t without problems arising. My partner already has confident issues about what people think of him and this isn’t helping him at all. So I think when we move we are gonna stay away from them for awhile. Even though I have a feeling his friend will no longer want anything to do with him anymore which is pissing me the hell off. Sorry that was so long. I am just frustrated.

Hi everyone. I’m having a really hard time today in my relationship. I am just feeling so frustrated by my back-and-forth feelings about my relationship. One day I’ll feel so good, and then the next I don’t at all. I think my biggest trigger in the house is the chores that the two of us have to do in the house. I’m much more of a clean person than my boyfriend is. I’m also thinking that he has ADHD and struggles to remember when to do specific chores and I have to remind him pretty often, but he will usually do it when I ask. Today, I’m on a huge spiral of telling myself that he is never gonna be able to learn to do things on his own, he’s not gonna be able to take care of our kids in the future If we do get married, he’s not gonna be able to help take care of our house when we do have one one day, And I am just exhausted. It’s so hard fighting these thoughts all day and then I feel like I have to sit down and talk to him about chores and obviously that doesn’t go well when I’m not feeling good. Definitely a compulsion… It feels so much better when I can just relax and just let him figure things out on his own, and I can just take care of myself. I also come from a household where I was constantly criticized and controlled in certain ways, so I have that to carry too…I’ve gotten much better at doing that most of the time but today is pretty bad. It always feels a little bit worse as well when I’m on my period and feeling very hormonal as well… Can anyone please shed some light on if they’ve experienced this before and any support they might be able to offer in relation to this? Anything would be helpful and please be kind!

LONG VENT POST: This is my second post of the day. Seriously, I am SO sorry. I have therapy tomorrow, I promise I will shut up after this lmao. Anyway, for Memorial Day weekend, I spent it at my aunt/uncles vacation house. Fortunately it wasn’t a big crowd - just my mom, grandmother, aunt, uncle and I. For context, I come from a pretty big family, and I am the youngest of 7 cousins and a younger sister to two brothers. All my cousins are in their early to mid 20’s, each very successful in school and their careers. My half brother is 29, and absolutely crushing it. My full brother is turning 23, he’s also doing amazing with school. I just turned 20 in April, I feel very lost. I know I want to be a forensic psychiatrist one day, and that I want my PhD. I want to be the best therapist I can be, but the fact that I barely get by with ocd/adhd has been discouraging me, so I currently feel like a flop. Anyway though, spending time with my aunts/uncles/cousins/grandparents triggers my ocd the most, as majority of them can be on the judgmental side. ESPECIALLY my aunt, she’s on my moms side, and she and my mom are total opposites. My aunts a very calculated, straightforward, logical, stern, sassy buisnesswoman. She’s successful, but lacks a lot of understanding and can be so cold and just mean. My moms a kindergarten teacher in a struggling community, and she’s always thinking about others before herself, extremely emotional, caring, but neglects her own needs a lot. They’re sisters, and they bump heads a ton. My aunt and all of her kids aren’t neurodivergent. They simply don’t understand mental health. My mom does, thank god. My aunt and uncle think that if a kid is having a psychotic break, then that kid should be kicked out of the house and not helped at all. My mom and I entirely disagree with this idea, and that someone clearly mentally suffering NEEDS mental health help asap, and they need to be home. The streets are the last place someone suffering should be. While we were vacationing at the house, my mom argued about this with my uncle. I was asleep, thank god, but I seriously hate having people in my family like this. I can never tell them about me having ocd, they’ll think it’s just an “excuse” for not getting things done, or just me trying to feel special. The reality is, they don’t get it. My full brother went through the worst psychotic break a few years ago. It lasted two years on and off due to bipolar disorder, but thank god he got himself help and he’s doing absolutely amazing now. He’s frustrated and embarassed with himself but now he’s on track, and as I said, crushing it with school. But the entire time he was going through this, my aunt and uncle just didn’t understand. To keep it short, they thought his mental problems were behavioral, and that he’s a “crazy” kid. The reality is, he was coping with the loss of his childhood best friend and our other uncle who was like a second father figure to us. He had manic episodes from the grief and self medicating with drugs and alcohol. This was all the while Covid was happening and he was a freshman at a college states away. He was so vunerable. I’m saying all this because, well, how am I to seriously be forward about my mental struggles when they couldn’t even show the slightest amount of empathy to my brother, who was struggling, so much more intensely than me? I’m quiet at family gatherings when they’re around for this exact reason. I have so much resentment toward them for it. I try to avoid them when I can, because I love them, I just hate their actions/views. What do you guys do with these kinds of people?

I have had ROCD in my relationship for a while and I’ve always been having the feeling do I break up so I not but even with the anxiety I still felt love and knew I didn’t want to be without him. But now it feels different. What scares me is it feels like I could actually see myself wanting to date someone else because of qualities he doesn’t have. I keep seeing him as overall bad. For more context he is caring, generous, we are very similar, but have different communication styles and talking issues out is hard for him. He also can be irritable easily, he doesn’t like talking things out that much and there’s a bit of a maturity difference which I know is sometning that can grow. Lately I feel like when I’m around him I am just frustrated with how he is acting like when he does something that upsets me like makes a joke about something he knows isn’t funny and bothersome to me, he’ll say sorry but then end up doing it again. Even though I know he really does care about me which I know it feels like he only cares about him doing wrong like he doesn’t want to do wrong instead of actually wanting to fix my feelings being hurt cause when he asks if I’m upset and I say yes he will get upset and try to be defensive and it makes me feel he cares more about being wrong. I also have had less empathy toward him which really scares me because I am a very empathetic person but I am hoping it’s just cause of bad ocd and built frustrations. Also, I do know cause he has told me and I’ve seen it that he always wants to impress his parents and not make them mad because they pick at him the minute he does wrong. This is probably why it’s hard to talk things out but lately I have been feeling like I can’t say anything cause he will just get more anxious or shut down or not want to hear it. Anyway, what makes me anxious is it feels like I don’t feel anything anymore and my brain is saying the only reason why I get anxious thinking of not being together is because I hate change and cause he is the first person I’m with. But I keep going back and forth. It’s so hard to be around him now. All I’m trying to think of is evidence that I still love him or the good things about him. I’m really afraid this isn’t ocd and that it has just morphed into it just isn’t working anymore. Some feelings like less love feel real but also ocd gets in between everything and it’s so fuzzy. I am afraid deep down I really know. My brain keeps saying I can’t be with him anymore cause I can’t be with someone if I feel like this about him. Meaning if I don’t have empathy for him cause I’m frustrated or whatever and if all I can see his bad even though I know there is good. It also says if I was with someone else that was a little nicer or could talk things out or whatever imaginary scenario in my head I wouldn’t feel like this😭 and I love the family and it keeps saying I’m only staying cause of the family. And some of this I’m like wait that might be true and I have to rest and review and I’m exhausted. And one minute I want to leave the next I don’t….im worried the only reason I am with him is cause of how great things were or cause he loves me and not me loving him.