[Insight on NOCD app] I'm going to be honest, this app is great for the ERP tracking, but lately I decided to delete it because I realized I was addicted to people's posts. It made a huge difference on my intrusive thoughts. This place became not only my compulsions, but also my triggers. What's funny is that I didn't have some of my thoughts before downloading this app, but reading people's posts created new ones for me. Which is kind of awful. I like the idea of NOCD for doing this, but there is no control here and you must know that while it feels good to vent and share, there's other ways to do it. Being here and reading others is keeping me in the OCD loop and making me feel a lot worse. This app is exactly the same as the /OCD on reddit and I hate it for that. I'm not even kidding people, please take a break from this app sometimes and see how you do. And if you realize you cannot delete it, it might be because you're using it as a compulsion/reassurance, and it is not helping you. I had to download it back because I'm getting a NOCD therapist, but honestly I wish I didn't have to.

I told my OCD group about NOCD and one of the members brought up that this app, despite its intent to create a safe community for sharing OCD experiences could potentially be used for reassurance seeking, thus contributing to compulsions. I’ve noticed some posts about people venting and asking for reassurance and I wonder the same thing.

I feel like having the app is kind of keeping me stuck. I stopped doing therapy after my therapist left abruptly, but I like having the community here. I would feel like I’m abandoning y’all, but it might be better for my mental health? I’m just not sure. I feel like deleting is giving in somehow, but I can always redownload. For the friends I’ve made on here, just know that if I go, I still very much care about you and your wellbeing and recovery! ❤️

Hiii! This is my first post. I found NOCD through a tiktok ad that spoke to me. It was titled signs you didnt know were OCD or something like that, and one of the slides was “checking my pulse throughout the day to make sure i was okay”. This is something ive done for i dont even know how long. atleast 10 years, im 24 now. Ive always known Ive had OCD. Light Sanitation OCD runs in my family. But over the years ive started to realize i had way more than the “family trait”. Checking my pulse 40+ times a day is something i refer to as my “OCD tick”. Its to the point where people who dont know about my “tick” often ask if i am okay when they see me do it. Maybe this post is me putting it on paper for the first time so i myself can analyze but some other stuff i struggle with are: Often having thoughts of if i dont do A, B will happen. An example that is common for me is “if i dont refold this shirt me and my boyfriend will get into an argument” or if im out to dinner with a friend, “if i dont pick up this cup and place it back down, i will get into a car accident on the way home”. This is one i struggle with almost everyday, especially when im around people (work or outings). This compulsion happens multiple times a day. Now in my life i try to practice exposure therapy, even getting annoyed i feel the compulsion and think to myself “oh my god this is so stupid no!” but if i dont follow through i feel guilty. often when i get my next compulsion shortly after i tell myself “okay doing this will make up for not doing the previous one”. I definitely dont have a number based OCD, but i would have to pick up and put down the cup until it feels “right” or “correct”- same with checking my pulse. I have to check my pulse until the feeling is “just right”. With sanitation as i said before, i have a very clean and sanitary family, although mine is more severe than their feelings. I avoid touching certain surfaces after i have washed my hands, such as the front door knob, or living room tv remote, etc. If i need to touch or use these things, i have to immediately wash my hands again. Even if someone comes home and asks me to go and lock the front door ill often respond with “i cant i just washed my hands, if i lock the door ill have to rewash my hands”. thankfully my family is very understanding. I often feel like certain things are contaminated. For example when i come home i sanitize my phone immediately as it is contaminated from being outside of my house. I often have a feeling of something having to feel “just right”. If i go out to dinner i have to be the first to pick what seat or side of the booth im sitting on before the rest of my family sits down or i will feel anxious the whole dinner. Sometimes when im typing i have to back space and retype the same word over and over until i feel i typed it “just right”- even if i didnt make a typo. sometimes when i am driving and space out i often think “oh my god did i just hit someone” when there is no evidence that i have. it worries me. I think oh my god i mightve done a hit and run. But tell myself it can not be possible, theres no police chasing me, no honking, or anything. It is scary. this one is very rare. once in a blue moon i get a false memory. A main one ive felt since i was a kid is if someone or some object touches any part of my body, for example my left arm, i have to have them or atleast my self touch my right arm in the exact same way or i feel uneasy. this isnt with every single touch, but mainly when i feel triggered- although i never know what triggers a moment where i need the symmetry. I guess ive always known, i am very honest with my family, friends, and boyfriend about it. But i didnt start to realize how neurodivergent i was until asking some friends “you never randomly feel *insert compulsion*?” and they say never in their life have they felt like that. Im very self aware and have come to an acceptance with all these things, although it is debilitating. Periodically i think, wow it must be nice to not live life with these feelings but oh well. To be honest, downloading this app is the first step ive ever taken to find out more about OCD. Ive always kind of just been like “yeah i definitely have OCD but okay” more or less.