Is avoidance a compulsion?

Hey. Remember me? I'm still having a hard time with harm ocd around my baby. This is the longest ocd episode I've had but I think it's because I've been avoiding being alone with her for about a month now. I've had my mom stay with me at night and stay at her house during the day. I went through a period for a few days where I almost felt normal but then again I wasn't alone. I have my first NOCD therapy session Monday. I'm really trying to be hopeful.

@bulldogmomma13 Hey! Yeah you really have to cut out the avoidance as much as possible. I know it’s difficult but it sounds like you are making progress and I am happy for you!!!

@jfount11117 I just don't know how to stop. I'm so scared to be around her alone. I keep getting the thoughts images and urges and it terrifies me. It was hard to be around her period at first but now I can be around her as long as someone else is present. Do I just try to live life like normal, like I did before and eventually it won't bother me?

@bulldogmomma13 Yes exactly it will more than likely unlatch from her and then it will just be a general feeling. The more you live normal the better you will get. You will feel like you are faking it but that is normal. Over time it should just fade. Meds will probably kick in more too. How are you doing on the uncertainty part of it all?

@jfount11117 The uncertainty and urges are by far the worst of it all. I wish I could know for sure everything will be fine.

@bulldogmomma13 I know! It gets better it just takes time. We just have to be strong! I’m here for u. I wish this app had a messenger but I am following you so I can keep up with you.

@jfount11117 Thank you. You have been so helpful.

@jfount11117 So tomorrow my boyfriend has to work all day and my grandma who's been staying with a few days has to go home. I was planning on going to my moms, but should I stay home with my duaghter alone and just push through the anxiety? My therapy isn't until Monday.

@bulldogmomma13 Yes I believe you should. Try not to get yourself worked up with anticipation. Something that would be nice would be to maybe go to the park or go for a walk with the stroller. Just engage in life activities. OCD will be screaming and pouting for your attention and you just pay it no mind. You do this enough and you are going to habituate and OCD will try to move to something else.

@jfount11117 Am I supposed to remain calm or just allow myself to feel anxious? What if I can't make it the whole day?

@bulldogmomma13 You will probably feel anxious. Just sit with it as long as you can. Try not to do your compulsions. That will negate the exposure. And I think starting out just maybe part of the day would be fine then you can spend time with family. Or if you feel comfortable you can do it as long as you like just ensuring not to do any compulsions. (Checking & reassurance)

@bulldogmomma13 Also, my email is jfountain11117@outlook.com. If you have specific questions just drop me an email and I’ll answer them to the best of my abilities.

Normally my ocd flares up and then fades away. Could that be why this one hasn't gotten any better, because I'm avoiding the situation?

@bulldogmomma13 Absolutely. Avoidance makes PTSD worse for the exact same reason. Avoiding something teaches your brain that that thing is dangerous and it gives credibility to the OCD’s fears.