okay idk if this has to do with ocd or not but i think it seems a lot like i just can’t handle uncertainty. I’ve always for the last like 6 years of my life worried about “how are you supposed to know this is what u really want” or something along those lines. It used to be more existential. I would constantly think like “what if this isn’t what i’m supposed to be doing with my life” or “what if i’m just wasting my life away” i wouldnt let myself enjoy anything because i would just keep telling myself “oh well ur life is gonna be over some day so why would u let urself just enjoy it now.” then a couple months after i started dating my boyfriend i started to get really bad rocd. there were obviously specific things that i focused on, but there was always that underlying thought of “how do u know this is who u really wanna be with”. like the idea that there are a million people out there i couldn’t get over the fact that i have no way of knowing if i’m with the right person. yesterday i started to get bad trans ocd again, which i’ve had on and off before, but it really made me upset. today i just started thinking like “I literally could have any identity, any gender, any sexual orientation,etc.… so how do i know if i’m really who i’m supposed to be now?” like i could just be making it all up because that’s how i was born. like there’s no way to know and that’s so scary. and at this point i feel like i have no actual hard proof that i am the gender that i am or that i do like boys, etc. So how am i supposed to just keep living my life how i am. i realized that that last thought is really similar to the existential thoughts i was talking about in the first paragraph so it made me think more about how it probably is ocd. i just don’t know what to do because how am i supposed to just keep going when there is literally no proof that i’m not doing the wrong thing.