onedayš¤
- Date posted
- 3y
ArshisudesArshisudes
- Date posted
- 3y
All the time
onedayš¤onedayš¤
- Date posted
- 3y
Itās awful š
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
Yep. I also have an instinctively suspicious nature
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
Can anyone help me with the post I made literally 10 seconds ago
onedayš¤onedayš¤
- Date posted
- 3y
I looked for your post, I couldnāt find it
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
@iwantpeace Ok I was able to copy/paste it. Here you go: I am embarrassed by the amount of times Iāve posted. Iām determined to get that number down by not posting tomorrow. I may comment but I am determined not to post. Doesnāt matter cause people donāt seem to see my stuff anyway So I work as a dishwasher in a restaurant in downtown Pasadena. I worked with this girl with a lesbian and she made a very obvious and Iām not even being mean she straight up said it. And told me about her history. I mean Iāve been spiking on and off pretty bad probably since I started working here and maybe not directly because of that although it probably didnāt help. But today that coworker came up to me and was Iām scared sheās sheās not cute and I said something about snaggletooth but itās just that sheās a girl I donāt really care their teeth are not perfect. My guys teeth arenāt perfect theyāre nice but theyāre not perfect and I donāt care. But she came up to me and I keep saying stuff like sheās but sheās not cute. Not like that. Personalityās cool but I donāt swing that way but Iām scared that I donāt have confidence in that but I do genuinely doubt. Then I thought of a model like I do but I donāt find any shape or size of a womanās chest or body parts attractive or just them in general all encompassing. Anyway this culture comes up to me and I keep feeling like because sheās smiling and I act like that is but itās not cute but sheās smiling and Iām instantaneously suspicious. Because of the way it is Iām like Iām always suspicious when someoneās like I have to ask you something proceeds to smile and I keep getting scared saying that sheās not cute I donāt swing both ways Iām scared when I told her that Iām straight I wasnāt lying but now I feel weird as I am but Iām not lying! So she told me a guy coworker likes me and I was already able to get her a buzz. And I feel bad because itās not like the guys not nice but Iām not attracted to him and he came onto strong and seems bit too sensitive and the weird thing is the guy I want is incredibly sensitive but somehow not delicate. I donāt know if itās just because the person you want they could be or they could have a certain trait in youāre fine with it but if someone else has the same trait and you donāt like them then it bugs you. But when the coworker told me that I keep feeling weird thinking of how she was like smiling at me and I donāt like women and now I said him Iām more than like my guy donāt like the dude sheās talking about. I canāt get over the smile and I my heart feels funny but I donāt like her or any woman like that I donāt know why my heart feels funny and I imagine because sheās smiling at me and sheās close like itās not just that itās also that I have a really really sensitive sense of personal space. For someone who is so small I need a great deal of personal space itās weird. And I looked and sheās like oh Iām not hitting on you Iām like well thatās good but Iām still panicking a little bit Iām like stop it youāre being an idiot. And she like someone likes you and Iām scared I keep saying sheās but sheās not cute and I donāt swing that way and Iām scared I canāt say that with confidence anymore and I hate it! I donāt like her and I looked at her lips and I thought of and Iām scared I didnāt really feel anything I donāt know if I felt anything imagine kissing her when sheās talking like that right close to me but I pushed it aside and I know I donāt want that and when I said Iām straight I was telling the truth. And then she said no itās a guy that likes you my God thank God and there was her leave and Iām like no offense and she didnāt take it personally. I keep saying sheās sheās not that cute not that kind. And I donāt know if itās the amount of pills Iāve taken like Tylenol p.m. because I took a Tylenol p.m. full strength so itās like two pills and magnesium tablet like the vitamin. And I am fucking feeling it like I am so heavy in my head. But has anyone ever experienced this? Like I was looking at her with her girlfriend and I feel weird because Iām I said thereās nothing wrong with thinking of boobs but thereās everything went wrong with my thoughts and Iām like oh wow thatās exactly the opposite how I feel or thatās how I feel about guys not girls like I look at them and I realize thatās really not me. And I donāt like thinking thereās nothing wrong with my thoughts because I donāt like them but I donāt like realizing all does nothing wrong thinking of when you donāt like them but there I donāt wanna think thereās nothing wrong I donāt it doesnāt feel right thatās for sure it doesnāt feel good those kind of thoughts about females and their body parts donāt do it for me so I donāt like thinking all thereās nothing wrong with having those thoughts there is itās not right for me. But looking at them like Iām like oh well Iām really not like that itās just not me and I donāt mean like that as in good or bad itās just not me. And Iām scared when I said that I imagined round boobs in squeezing them like I do when I imagine but I donāt want to do a guys and babies do I donāt want to do that so the sites are wrong to me. And that was after I looked at them to get annoying I donāt feel like that about the same and I said about but I feel the same about guys not the same sex I donāt like insinuating otherwise. And I donāt know why I feel bad that I said the guys too sensitive when I really very much more than like sensitive guys and Iām really scared I keep making a face I know I donāt like they are theyāre not too delicate or sensitive I love I guess Iām getting the wrong impression like Iām thinking sensitive guy like from like the dude from friends that Rachel was with for a while that was just too much I love that you know I love because I am not very sensitive so I am attracted to dudes that are lied sensitive but at least the humerus you know what I mean itās just I just think this guys too much and I feel bad because Iām thinking the guy that Iām interested in or just the type of guy in general Iām scared Iām being Calais like they all are there not too sensitive Iām not sensitive enough I just donāt like this particular guy And I was sitting on a crate as I was cleaning the girls because Iām short and I can get away with that and nobody else cares and I had my legs open just because you know I had to make room for the crate I couldnāt sit my cross legged the things Iām strong enough to handle that and then I said but I donāt I keep calling if itās not sweet or hot I donāt like vaginal canal I donāt like the opening I donāt like clit I want dick and Iām really scared I said knock you like me Iām not get all I called I said someone is not gay like me Iām not gay why would I say like me when Iām not at all and I hate that all the OCD people are like nachos triple who suffer it but shrinks are telling me that he never goes away youāll never be totally certain and he have to live with that but I hate it! I donāt care that thereās nothing wrong with it why I canāt stand this! Why did I say not like me when Iām in entirely straight Why!? Why did I say not like me when Iām not gay and I said it so easily but Iām not fucking gay Iām scared Iām just addressing some random person in my head saying and Iām scared I really mean it and I keep nodding up and down seriously like no youāre not like me youāre not gay Iām not gay at all I donāt understand Iām not gay Iām seriously not gay at all iām scared Iām so serious saying that youāre not gay at all but Iām not gay either and I donāt even know who Iām talking to Iām scared Iām so scared of the feelings in my chest saying youāre not gonna like me Iām not I donāt wanna be Iām not gay I donāt like triangles I donāt care about this Iām not gay why did I say not like me when Iām entirely not gay. Why am I seeing it so seriously and I keep imagining theyāre not hot or sexy I donāt wanna do a guys and babies do I donāt want triangles around donāt like boobs in profile I donāt like boobs at all really not gay honest to God! Why did I say not like me when Iām not gay Sorry Iām so embarrassed
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 But although I'll share I thought that I had just now that scared me. I said feel better saying must be but I'm not gay there's no must be I'm not and I feel like I'm being choked like my chest is constricting and I can't really breathe that well and I don't feel like I feel like what does that say about me when I say it feels better to say must be when there's no reason for it there's no must be I'm not gay to attracted to women! So why would I say must be why would I say feels better I don't feel better now and I don't want that and I don't like the feeling I have my chest thing feels better seeing must be when I'm not THERES NO MUST BE. Why do I feel worse refuting that there is genuinely no reason for must be im NOT GAY or attracted to women I keep saying genuinely but I donāt want to feel better cause im genuinely not gay I feel like a loser
onedayš¤onedayš¤
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bookworm91 Youāre not a loser. Maybe it just scared you because the girl was staring at you and making you feel weird. You didnāt do anything wrong, itās just something new to you so your OCD is trying to twist it all up like it always does to us. You know who you are better than anyone else so just try to not think too much about it. I get weirded out when things like that happen. Iām sorry
Bookworm91Bookworm91
- Date posted
- 3y
@iwantpeace Itās ok. Thanks for listening. I know Iām straight itās just sometimes I wish like the thing that bugs me the most is the snake body parts war and I make faces as though I donāt but I like male body parts the top and bottom I donāt like the way it womanās body parts looks or sticks out and yet I may face as low as though I donāt but I really like ice chests and I donāt want anyone whoās huge overdeveloped but sometimes itās like when will the guys parts come back so to speak if you know what I mean I know I donāt want women but itās just Iām scared guys are going away and I donāt want them to one in particular I want my guy but you know broadly as a whole I want guys and I want them to come back
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Anonymous
- Date posted
- 24w
iām a bad person & canāt deal with the shame of it
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rosiemae474
- Date posted
- 24w
Please help
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aeristifa
- Date posted
- 23w
anybody else
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