- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Once my best friend got a girlfriend and then completely forgot about my friendship. We used to spend every day together and were joined at the hip. I was very upset in the same way I would have been if a relationship had ended. He always agreed to plans and then bailed, never wanted to visit because he was busy with his girl etc. Needless to say I was so hurt I stopped talking to him. How could someone just forget about years of friendship overnight just because of a girl? We fell out and didn’t speak for a couple of years. Then I got a serious girlfriend and suddenly I started to understand a little about what it meant to be in love and how almost everything does drop away. He could have handled it better but I stopped resenting him. After a few years of not speaking we finally started again. By this point we had matured and could understand all perspectives. He later moved to another country and we’ve been in close contact since, both of us having had new girlfriends and being in different places. People change, friends come and go, the friends who are worth your time will come back and be in your life. The ones who leave and don’t come back aren’t worth your time. This is a very long winded way of saying I understand you feel rejected and left out but don’t feel stupid, you didn’t do anything wrong. It sounds like your pride is damaged and you’re worried about losing them. It sounds like you feel undervalued and because you don’t want to give yourself away so freely you feel like you aren’t worth as much. Maybe it’s a little corny and even irritating, but practicing stoicism has always helped me with this type of thing. Sounds like your crush wasn’t meant to be. That’s ok! You don’t want someone who doesn’t appreciate you for who you are. I say let them do their thing, you can’t control them and you have no say in what they do. Turn your focus to yourself and what you want to do to stay happy. It’s unfortunate you work together, but don’t let them get the better of you. Be as normal as you can be and get your work done. If they are nice people they will talk to you and say that they understand how you feel and try to smooth things over. If they are mean to you they are not friends! Maybe you’ll fall out for a while, it might be an age thing and later on you’ll be friends again. What’s most important for now though is you look after yourself and you stay happy. Maybe try and make some friends outside work that are yours and unrelated to them? Good luck
- Date posted
- 3y
Also I really hope that helps, hope that’s not a counter productive post. I just mean to say that if you can let other people do what they do and try to find a source for happiness that is unrelated to them then if and when people let you down it won’t hurt as much and you can keep feeling positive. You’ll have nice people around you, you’ll be doing nice things that make you happy, and any negative vibes from people will be harder to touch you
- Date posted
- 3y
I appreciate your words of encouragement and thank you for your help. I know it shouldn’t hurt so much but it does. It makes things really awkward between all of us. But I’m hoping it will be over soon and things will go back to normal. I really don’t want to talk to either of them for a while just because if they are involved, I don’t want to get in their way because they both tend to flirt with literally anybody. So I don’t want him flirting with me if he’s involved with her because then she’s gonna get hurt and I’m going to be sad because he’s playing me again like he’s done before. He literally flirts with most of the people I work with. So it’s just dumb drama I guess. I’m just gonna have to focus on me for a while. Until then I will appreciate the ones who really do have my back and will stick by my side when things go wrong. Thanks again for your help!
- Date posted
- 3y
I would just ignore any flirting and focus on the work, if he’s flirting with everyone then you know you don’t want to be involved with that. Drama is never a good thing. I think that’s a great idea, appreciate the good ones! There’s millions of nice people out there, don’t waste any time on the ones who make you upset.
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m going to try. She’s acting like I’m the one who’s done something wrong and I feel bad because I don’t want to lose them. But whatever isn’t going to do me any good to worry about it I guess
- Date posted
- 3y
@Just Breathe ❤️ That’s where the annoying phrase ‘rise above it’ comes in, which is very hard to do when you’re emotionally connected to the situation, but I would try and remind yourself you are better than pettiness and you don’t need friends who try to make you feel bad. The sooner you show you aren’t interested and you’re focussed on your own thing (not in a ‘I don’t need you guys’ kind of way) the sooner the drama will cool off I’m sure.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Str3ss3d Ok I will try that. Thank you
- Date posted
- 3y
And you’re welcome 👍
- Date posted
- 3y
You didn't do anything wrong friend. Your best friends should've been honest with you about all of it from the start. Don't listen to what she said about you needing to grow up, they're the ones that handled the situation the wrong way, they were immature and disrespectful in how they handled it. I'm sorry that happened to you though Just Breathe... :( I hope and pray that you'll feel better and find peace from this situation you're in... I'll be praying for you. God bless friend.
- Date posted
- 3y
You’re very right. They should have. Thank you friend! I haven’t seen ya in a while I hope you are doing well. God bless friend.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah, I'm sorry. I've been very busy lately. I'm trying to figure out how to find more time to relax, I feel like I'm always busy with something and can never find time to relax anymore, or at least not until it's really late at night. And OCD has been really tough lately too, but I'm trying to do ERP and just sit with my anxiety, but it's just difficult. I hope and pray you've been enjoying the holidays and that you'll have a Merry Christmas friend! I hope we'll all have a better year in facing our OCD. God bless friend! :)
- Date posted
- 3y
I completely understand. Just remember to not be so hard on yourself and try to make sometime for you. Whether it’s reading a book or going for a short walk. Just to clear your mind for a while. This Christmas is really rough with losing two of my best friends at work because of stupid drama and it being the first Christmas without my dad. But I’m holding on as best as I can. Hopefully next year will be a better year for us all. Merry Christmas friend! May God bless you and your family
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
My ex best friend started dating my ex boyfriend. And me and the boy are in the same church so this is awkward. My heart is broken, not because he’s with someone else but the fact that it’s with her. I look back at every moment the three of us spent together and just wondering if they liked each other when me and him were together. I’ve lost all self respect, I keep stalking them on social media and I’m so mad at myself because I know that I’m letting them hurt me more but I can’t help it. I also still have my ex bsf location and I checked it today and saw that she was at my ex bf’s little brother’s baseball game, this hurt because me and him used to do that together, also me and his family are still close because of church so I have a soft spot in my heart for his little brother. I just feel like my whole world is upside down, I’m so confused. I’m trying so hard not to resent them, I try and remind myself that they are still God’s children. But I still find myself full of bitterness. I’ve been processing everything for about a month and I have tried tons of things to heal: put all of the items he gave me in a box, go to a rage room, visit the temple, journal, pray. Each of these things have helped a ton, but I still have a lot of pain. I know that this is all part of God’s plan but it’s still painful, I just need to remember that this pain is temporary and will help me grow as a person. I just wanted to share this and maybe get some advice on how to heal from a broken heart. I know this isn’t really OCD related but I just really needed to share this.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w
Hi everyone. I hope everyone is doing well. I just needed to vent for a second. So I'm divorced as of May 5th and I've been doing well with my ocd. My time of the month is happening and I'm feeling a little sensitive today. I'm in the car with my brother and sister in law and my sister and I don't have the best relationship. We never did really but I guess we are trying to mend that somehow. My brother in law and her asked me to move in with them to help take care of their baby. It's been hard because she is now happily married with a baby on the way which I feel awful for even saying.... because I thought I would be there too. But my life fell apart while his flourished. I'm happy for her but today it's a little hard because she made a comment saying "next time be smart about who you choose to marry". My brother in law said don't say that which was nice but it just reopened old wounds. For context I was emotionally cheated on by my ex husband and he said he would leave me if I wasn't on medication. While he was chatting with other women when we were suppose to be focused on our marriage and trying to fix it, his mom would call me and tell me everything I was doing wrong. I was lied to since the beginning. He lied to me about even him never being unfaithful. He cheated on his last girlfriend too. Didn't find out until after I was married. Now I'm just having a lot of negative self speak in my head about how everything is my fault and I'm starting to have a spike in feeling like God is punishing me. I'm happy with my boyfriend who I love more than anything and believe that my trials are just a test and that I deserve something good to happen. But after that comment... I'm currently tearing up in the car typing this because I just needed to get it off my chest. If you read this far... thank you. Just needed to get it out
- Date posted
- 5w
Super triggering set of events that’s been unfolding for some months now. I’m going to try and not seek reassurance but grounded advice or support is appreciated. A couple months ago, I had a close friendship with a female friend who was also new to town and we had a nice friend group. I developed feelings for her, articulated that to her, and she kind of breadcrumbed me until there wasn’t much of a friendship left unfortunately. I had a conversation with her about the impact that the situation had on me and the toll it took on my mental health. I was calm but assertive and was proud that I stood up for myself. This was sad but hey that happens sometimes as you’re growing and making new friends/trying to find your people. I took space this summer from that group and it was awesome. I felt so much better, my ocd symptoms decreased, I met a bunch of new people, things were good. I am now trying to jump back into my grad school community of students and I had felt a weird tension between me and some subsets of people. Yesterday I was told that the people she is friends with say that I am “unsafe to be around” and that I “blew up at her.” This hurts for a number of reasons. All I did was say that she hurt me by not communicating. I was vulnerable and I feel like I’m getting ostracized and dismissed as a nut case. I never ever spoke ill of her to this community. I kept my opinions to myself and tried to move on. Add on the harm ocd/real events ocd/ relationship ocd and I truly feel at my lowest. There’s certainly times where I have let my emotions and ocd dictate my reactions to situations like this in the past, but from the beginning of this one I made it a point to notice what was coming up and calmly respond with action based in my values. I am super proud of how I handled it and stood up for myself. Idk I’m human and I understand that everyone is entitled to their thoughts and feeling but this just feels messed up and disrespectful. Trying to get this out here because it’s hard to talk about rn
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