So this isn’t OCD related at all I just need to vent and this community is very helpful that maybe someone will relate or help in a way I guess. Work has sucked lately. I’ve had a crush on my guy best friend for the longest time and he just recently got out of a bad relationship. My girl best friend was in a relationship and then recently they mutually decided to go on a “break”. She knew I had a crush on my guy best friend and even when they were both in relationships they would flirt with each other but he told me a long time ago it meant nothing they were just playing around. So I found out yesterday that they were flirting hard core when I was off work Friday last week and he called her “babe” and was all over each other and one of my friends who is a guy and is best friends with him told me that one night he stayed over at his house and admitted that my guy best friend and my girl best friend have been sexting each other when she told me she would never do that to me because she knew I liked him and he told me he wasn’t going to get with her because he is close friends with her now on a “break” ex boyfriend and it was off limits because he didn’t want to break the “bro code” or whatever it’s called. I was in a group chat with them and a couple other friends of mine and I left the group chat because I don’t want anything to do with either of them. I don’t even want to be “best friends” anymore with either of them. I feel betrayed in a way. I wish they could of just been honest with me but I had to find out from 2 of my other friends who already knew. Apparently I was the only one who didn’t know. They should of told me. I even told my guy best friend if you end up with someone cool just don’t let it get in between our friendship because I knew if he got with her that it was going to cause a problem between all of our friendships and unfortunately I work with all of them. When I left the group chat today one of my other friends that was in the group told me and showed me a message my so called best friend sent her saying that I needed to grow the f up. I’m sorry? You both were supposed to be my friends? Best friends! And you put you both in a situation where you would lose me. I told myself the other day if they ended up together I would distance myself or cut ties. I feel so stupid. I thought they were my friends. My guy best friend knew too that I liked him and made it quite clear that he didn’t like me that he liked her more because she’s willing to give what I can’t because I’m waiting for marriage. I genuinely liked him. I wasn’t in it for that. I wanted to be with him. I thought maybe if he took some time to focus on himself maybe then something could happen but then he goes after my best friend. I feel insecure, hurt, and stupid. I’m so sorry I just really needed to vent and talk this out because it fing hurts. I feel like I’ve lost 2 really close friends today and I value my friendships. Apparently they don’t. Maybe I’m overreacting my other friends think that I’m not that they are the ones that need to grow up but I can’t help but feel bad because I feel like because she said I need to grow the f up that maybe I’m the problem

Once my best friend got a girlfriend and then completely forgot about my friendship. We used to spend every day together and were joined at the hip. I was very upset in the same way I would have been if a relationship had ended. He always agreed to plans and then bailed, never wanted to visit because he was busy with his girl etc. Needless to say I was so hurt I stopped talking to him. How could someone just forget about years of friendship overnight just because of a girl? We fell out and didn’t speak for a couple of years. Then I got a serious girlfriend and suddenly I started to understand a little about what it meant to be in love and how almost everything does drop away. He could have handled it better but I stopped resenting him. After a few years of not speaking we finally started again. By this point we had matured and could understand all perspectives. He later moved to another country and we’ve been in close contact since, both of us having had new girlfriends and being in different places. People change, friends come and go, the friends who are worth your time will come back and be in your life. The ones who leave and don’t come back aren’t worth your time. This is a very long winded way of saying I understand you feel rejected and left out but don’t feel stupid, you didn’t do anything wrong. It sounds like your pride is damaged and you’re worried about losing them. It sounds like you feel undervalued and because you don’t want to give yourself away so freely you feel like you aren’t worth as much. Maybe it’s a little corny and even irritating, but practicing stoicism has always helped me with this type of thing. Sounds like your crush wasn’t meant to be. That’s ok! You don’t want someone who doesn’t appreciate you for who you are. I say let them do their thing, you can’t control them and you have no say in what they do. Turn your focus to yourself and what you want to do to stay happy. It’s unfortunate you work together, but don’t let them get the better of you. Be as normal as you can be and get your work done. If they are nice people they will talk to you and say that they understand how you feel and try to smooth things over. If they are mean to you they are not friends! Maybe you’ll fall out for a while, it might be an age thing and later on you’ll be friends again. What’s most important for now though is you look after yourself and you stay happy. Maybe try and make some friends outside work that are yours and unrelated to them? Good luck

Also I really hope that helps, hope that’s not a counter productive post. I just mean to say that if you can let other people do what they do and try to find a source for happiness that is unrelated to them then if and when people let you down it won’t hurt as much and you can keep feeling positive. You’ll have nice people around you, you’ll be doing nice things that make you happy, and any negative vibes from people will be harder to touch you

I would just ignore any flirting and focus on the work, if he’s flirting with everyone then you know you don’t want to be involved with that. Drama is never a good thing. I think that’s a great idea, appreciate the good ones! There’s millions of nice people out there, don’t waste any time on the ones who make you upset.

And you’re welcome 👍

You didn't do anything wrong friend. Your best friends should've been honest with you about all of it from the start. Don't listen to what she said about you needing to grow up, they're the ones that handled the situation the wrong way, they were immature and disrespectful in how they handled it. I'm sorry that happened to you though Just Breathe... :( I hope and pray that you'll feel better and find peace from this situation you're in... I'll be praying for you. God bless friend.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I've been very busy lately. I'm trying to figure out how to find more time to relax, I feel like I'm always busy with something and can never find time to relax anymore, or at least not until it's really late at night. And OCD has been really tough lately too, but I'm trying to do ERP and just sit with my anxiety, but it's just difficult. I hope and pray you've been enjoying the holidays and that you'll have a Merry Christmas friend! I hope we'll all have a better year in facing our OCD. God bless friend! :)