I feel like I'm losing myself tonight. I'm going crazy. Intrusive thoughts, emotional, crying for no reason, fine the next. No love for anyone one minute, outstanding love almost obsession for certain people the next. Made up scenarios in my head driving me crazy. Tired but wide awake. Uggghhh I'm so frustrated with this shit tonight!!!

Lately I just feel like I’m on the verge of losing it and I don’t know why. I feel so uncomfortable in my own body. Physically and mentally. Not due to insecurity but just that something isn’t right… I never feel good, I’m always fatigued, my head hurts all the time, but my blood work comes back fine so doctor’s will do nothing. I have anxiety and panic attacks and recently I guess depression since I’m always down. I have relationship OCD so my partner deals with me not being sure of him constantly and it breaks my heart. I don’t want to leave him because he’s great but half the time my brain is telling me he isn’t the one. I keep counting as well, constantly counting every letter in every word and every word in every sentence… it just feels like I’m gonna go insane one of these days and I’m scared. When I talk to someone about this, they have no clue what to tell me or how to help. Am I alone in feeling this way??

I had a really stressful couple of weeks and it's all hitting me right now. I cannot for the life of me shut off my brain my thoughts for a little and it feels like drowning. It's 1 a.m. here and I'm feeling completely hopeless like this feeling is going to last forever. I'm feeling like I can't use the tools I've been given my my psychologist and my meds feel like they've stopped working. I feel like by the end of the end I'm going to lose my mind. I usually am able to find some silver lining but today has been so bad. Everything triggers me and I have really bad intrusive thoughts about dying and finding some peace but I know that's not what I want. It's just so difficult navigating life when your brain works against you. I'm so tired and defeated and I feel like I have no one to turn to, but even that is some form of reassurance and it makes me spiral that I decide actively against it. I just feel like I'm losing my mind and I'm going "insane" from the distress. All my failed friendships and relationships have come back to haunt me and I feel like I can't get out of the house. All my sort comings are layed out in front of me and I feel like I am the worst person in the world and nothing will fix that. I have some real bad thoughts about my friends and family. And I know alla of this is classic symptoms of OCD but even though I know I can't rationalize and come to peace with them. I'm so envious of people being able to lead a normal life without this burden and in my mind it's just highlights all my shortcomings. I've had moments like this before but the last really nasty one was four years ago when I was yet undiagnosed and I really felt insane back then. I was hoping that when this happened to me again I'd be more capable of handling it but I don't think I am. I'm constantly on a battle against my mind and some times I win and sometimes I lose. I'm sorry for the rant I just feel extremely hopeless right now.

Someone please respond to this, I really feel like I'm losing my mind. This is what I've been going through the past few months: - Been unable to stop googling obsessively about my behaviors - Feel unable to control my emotions - Constantly ruminating about being a bad person - Avoiding best friend and some relatives, feel super on guard around them, like they'll see I'm awful. - with my best friend, feeling resentful but arguing with myself that she's not a bad person, but still feeling irritated. - Easily irritated, feeling resentful of others in general - making up arguments in my head, then telling myself I'm crazy for thinking it - Struggling to be present with others, listen, and empathize. Mask and try to offer support then feel bad later. - Can't self regulate, always need to vent to family/friends/therapist - Always tired - Can't control thoughts - Analyzing my behavior constantly - Questioning my beliefs and motivations and if they make me a bad person. - Always finding new bad traits about myself/constant guilt - Social anxiety, people pleasing, and avoidance - Want to be alone but can't handle being alone for long, emotional dumping on people then isolating myself because I feel bad - Crave connection - Little enjoyment of anything - Feeling bad about my negative traits but feel overwhelmed about changing - Awful memory/brain fog - Crying a ton I feel like I have zero control anymore. Everyone says I'm not a bad person and I'm fine, and that used to help, but now it doesn't. I've reached out to friends, family and therapists, but I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I'm extremely desperate.