people with TOCD, please lmk if you feel like this I’ve always been happy with the gender I’ve been. Female . A girl. Doing girly girl things such as makeup , fashion , doing nails, and etc and have never once thought about switching my gender . I like my body and have been comfortable with whom I’ve been. And I’ve always been comfortable with my she/her pronouns and all that stuff . But ever since I got TOCD it’s like “do you?” And I think it’s creating false feeling and false thoughts. Like I’ve never thought about being the opposite gender and I’ve never liked male items but now every time idk I try to do an “ exposure “ I’m like “a dress or a suit” and my brain would pick a suit but I’ve never wanted to wear a suit . I would want to wear a dress and it makes me feel like I’m in denial. I feel like I’m already a man?? Like I’m not sure :( but it makes me feel uncomfortable but I already got used to it and I’m like “wow I severely need a therapist now to help me” I don’t want a penis but I get intrusive thoughts about you do and coming out to my family and stuff like that’. I don’t like or want to look masculine but I think my brain wants to but I don’t :( that’s why I feel like I’m in denial but I really don’t want to :( It feels like my personality just completely switched like that In an instant . I don’t want to be a man but I got used to this feeling :( My friend also did a tarot card reading on me and told me I’m in some sort of denial which I don’t wanna believe since she’s absolutely new .

Have I always been suppressing my actual gender? I have in no way desire to be a guy. But am I a girl tho? I am honestly not sure. Like all of the sudden I don’t want to be anything? I loved being a girl. But do I want to still be one? I honestly don’t know. I am too anxious. I guess my tocd isn’t really about having thoughts of being a guy, but just about not being a woman.

Why am I suddenly now wondering if I am transgender? Like I look in the mirror and do not feel pretty at all anymore and when I talk I feel like I worry about sounding masculine, as well as if people think I look masculine, etc. I am a straight woman and have been battling with intrusive thoughts about my sexuality for some time now, and I am now suddenly questioning my gender identity too. Has anyone else with SOOCD experienced this, where you develop TOCD as a result of endless rumination cycles surrounding your SOOCD? Like I look into the future and know that I want to be a wife and mother and I want to have a husband and kids, but my OCD is telling me that I will be and act like a man and that will never happen. This is literally 10000x more distressing to me than my SOOCD was because I have honestly never understood the concept of being transgender but now I fear that that is who I am and who I have to be. Please help I cannot be the only one suddenly feeling like this. I want to feel confident and pretty and feminine again and I feel like I am never going to be able to. How do I know that this isn’t gender dysphoria/that I really want to become a man

I’m so fucking torn and so fucking lost. The last couple days, I feel like something in me has switched. I feel horrible about my body, especially my boobs and my vagina. I feel uncomfortable with anything female about myself and I feel like I need to GET OUT of my body. I feel so hyper aware of my breasts and I can’t ignore them. Looking at my body makes me anxious and feel nauseated. I can’t function, I’m dreading showering tomorrow. I always have a physical sensation of something in my lower region. My voice and face and name and pronouns trigger me and make me uncomfortable. The intrusive thoughts are either gone or are in the form of feelings. I’ll look at my face and suddenly I will feel like I don’t like it and it makes me uncomfortable. I DONT WANNA BE TRANS BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS IS DYSPHORIA. I feel like I finally understand WHY people transition. I feel like I need to change something because this feeling feels permanent. I’ve been wearing baggy masculine clothes every day because anything feminine makes me nauseous and feel horrible. I just wanna separate myself from anything female right now. Furthermore, I now usually “perceive” myself as a man. It’s like there is a man inside of me. Literally i sometimes feel like a male in a woman’s body. I keep imagining myself as this man character in my head, everything I do I feel like him. I’m so fucking tired. I’ve been having panic attacks and sobbing hysterically all day yesterday and today. The thought of ACTUALLY being trans is so fucking scary that it makes me cry and feel sick but the way I feel right now I feel like I need to be transgender and become male or else I will live in this horrible foggy misery forever. This has only been 2 days. Is it weird that I feel like I don’t even want my old self back, or that I don’t want it to be OCD???? It feels REAL. Can OCD do this because I genuinely hate my femaleness right now and I SEE myself as a male. Everything about my past feels so superficial and fake and like it was never me. I feel like this is me. And I cannot stress how fucking deep this feels. I feel like I genuinely want the surgery now. Everything feels so different. I need help. When I look at symptoms of TOCD, I feel like that’s ME! I did all of these in the very beginning. And I feel relieved but not convinced. But now, I relate more to dysphoria than actual TOCD. Is this something that can happen?