So I recently suffered a friendship loss of 3 of my closest friends (not death) or atleast I thought them to be. And they did me wrong and I have come to terms with it and it really hurt me and triggered my ocd just mentally made me get worse and start giving into compulsions again after all my hard work of not giving in a getting so much better. But now it’s like this incident about my friendship loss has started to become one of my obsession. It makes me doubt ocd cause technically it isn’t a subtype but it sort of is because it’s all about myself acceptance and I truely feel alone and like there is something wrong with me. I constantly stress about having no friends now and that they are all talking to everyone I know ans turning them against me. But to stop stressing about it I have to like give myself a random speech of sorts to clan myself done and at first I thought it was just positive talk but now I notice it has become a compulsion. And i have to keep giving myself this speech in my head so I stop stressing which is obviously ocd. But it’s like even when I don’t have a specific thought I’m always stressed like a constant stressful buzzing in my head, does anyone else relate, I’m trying to hard to not give into the compulsion and I think I’m doing okay but sometimes like right now it’s just so hard and I wanted to express this experience see if anyone else relates to it.

OCD is tricky. When you go through a change or something stressful happens it will try to attach itself to it. Usually people with OCD also tend to suffer from other conditions as depression and low self-esteem. You are not going to beat OCD with logic. It's hard to accept but it is what it is. Right now you need to be compassionate with yourself. It's something that only you can give to yourself. How can you do it? By telling yourself that thoughts are just thoughts and they are not you. Understand this and let yourself feel ok that you are not ok. Write it in a piece of paper and put it somewhere where you can see it: "it's ok that I am not ok". Anxiety is telling you that you need to solve this and get your feelings and thoughts "just right". Basically anxiety is lying saying you need to think and feel perfectly or something bad is happening. It's a lie. Try to get your mind to the present moment. Close your eyes, breath and notice your breathing. You don't need to focus on the thoughts that pop into your mind. Gently focus on your breathing. Then open your eyes and realize where you are, what day is it and what can you see around you. This are just some exercises to be present in the moment. It's not a magic cure but something that can help you not escape from the anxiety at the same time that you refocus. Be patient with yourself and practice being present. Don't condemn or judge yourself because that will not do any good to nobody including you. Treat yourself as you will treat someone that's going through something hard. With kindness, compassion, patient and love. Be there for you. There's a lot of guilt and shame attached to OCD. Trust me I know. I have come to understand that OCD is here to teach me to be compassionate with myself. Let's use it to learn that and that way we'll be more compassionate towards others. One last thing. There's a guy called Mark de Jesus on YouTube that talks about OCD. His videos on the 7 distortions are a good place to start because they will help you identify some of the ditches OCD will try to make you fall into. Again, the most important thing is for you to be compassionate and patience with yourself.