Hope for all of us I want to share something that has been helpful for me and I believe it can be helpful for others. We are not OCD. We are not anxiety. We are not fear. We could be struggling and battling with all of that but we aren't any of that. It's not our identity. It's not who we are. Fear deceive us into thinking that it emanated from us. From our own identity and mind but that's just a lie. The problem is we assume it's us and we've been conditioned in fear and anxiety that we think is us and that there's something wrong with us that if we could only fix or get rid of we could be good and normal. What a load of crap. We aren't bad or need any fixing. We just need unconditional Love. We need to love ourselves compassionately and accept ourselves. Easier said than done right? You see, we think that if we accept ourselves we are accepting the intrusive thoughts and what they say and we start to panic thinking that maybe we are what the thoughts are suggesting which in turn makes us obsesses and in desperation we try to solve or fix that which is not the problem in reality, the thoughts by doing a compulsion. But again, it's all a lie. Accepting ourselves doesn't mean we don't see and recognize our struggles and weaknesses. It means that even though we see all of that in us we choose not to judge and condemn ourselves and instead we treat ourselves with the Love, kindness and compassion, which is actually what we need. See? Our problem is not a broken brain or broken thinking. Our problem is a Love problem. We just need to learn, with patience and practice, to love ourselves and see ourselves separate from any thought that comes to our minds. This is my conclusion: "I'm not the thoughts that enter into my mind. Nor I am fear and anxiety or even OCD. I am just me and that's more than ok". Does that mean I have it all figured it out and I don't struggle like you? No! I still struggle. But I'm beginning to understand who I really am and I have decided to love myself even when it's hard and in the midst of my struggle. And guess what? You can do it too. It's not about feeling like it or waiting for the perfect moment when we are better. Tell me, when will that be? It's today that you and I need compassionte Love. So why not start giving it to ourselves today even if we don't even know fully how? To all of you I say: "God bless you my OCD brothers and sisters. To me you are awesome". Virtual hug 🫂

I few years ago, I did self-harm a few times, and then I got super into spirituality, and about a year ago, I remembered I did self-harm and ever since haven't been able to shake the guilt off... Constantly, every day, my mind would make me feel guilty about it and think about it all day. It's like my brain knew the thought that I could/ have cut myself scared me, so it kept bringing it up. My family had no idea I had ever done this, so my OCD told me I was a liar for not telling them about every day. I was afraid that they wouldn't love me anymore and send me to a mental hospital if I told them. About 2-3 months ago, I had gotten so fed up with having these thoughts every day and confessed to my mom what I had done, and her reaction was great. And I thought I'd never have thoughts about when I did self-harm again because I finally confessed. I was wrong. Even with people telling me that it's okay, I did that, I can't shake the guilt I had around this event, and even more so the fear/guilt around my own thoughts... My therapist and I talk about how the problem isn't the thoughts but what the OCD does to them. I try to create positive neural pathways, but that just makes me more stressed about it. There are things I'm supposed to tell myself when I feel negative, but I think I get that confused and tell myself those things every time I have thoughts about what I did. Which is feeding into a mental compulsion (replacing every "bad" thought with a "good" one. What works for me is (if I can) do nothing and have the thoughts... It's been hard to get better because I have had no idea what's been happening to me and felt like for the last year I was going crazy... I always thought OCD was cleaning stuff and physical compulsions . Everything that happened to me happened in my head. On the worst days when my OCD is really bad, every single time I was conscious and aware, I was thinking about the fact that I did self-harm. I would lie in bed all day trying to figure out my thoughts because I thought if I watched TV, I would be avoiding important things. I thought I had to figure out all my thoughts. I would ruminate, replay, and second-guess all. day. long. It was hard to recognize it was OCD because I thought I had done something seriously bad and wrong, and that I must deserve these thoughts. I think the trick is that you feel like you must have positive thoughts, and the most distressing thing wasn't necessarily the fact that I did self-harm, but the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I find the best thing you can do is just have all your thoughts in your head and try not to separate them from good and bad, if you can. It's nice to have people who understand!!!! More to come, about the journey. My favorite thing to say when I'm stuck is "that sly devil... OCD. Silly OCD is getting to me right now, but it won't last forever. That sneaky guy tricked me again" Love you!!!

So... I few years ago, I did self-harm a few times, and then I got super into spirituality, and about a year ago, I remembered I did self-harm and ever since haven't been able to shake the guilt off... Constantly, every day, my mind would make me feel guilty about it and think about it all day. It's like my brain knew the thought that I could/ have cut myself scared me, so it kept bringing it up. My family had no idea I had ever done this, so my OCD told me I was a liar for not telling them about every day. I was afraid that they wouldn't love me anymore and send me to a mental hospital if I told them. About 2-3 months ago, I had gotten so fed up with having these thoughts every day and confessed to my mom what I had done, and her reaction was great. And I thought I'd never have thoughts about when I did self-harm again because I finally confessed. I was wrong. Even with people telling me that it's okay, I did that, I can't shake the guilt I had around this event, and even more so the fear/guilt around my own thoughts... My therapist and I talk about how the problem isn't the thoughts but what the OCD does to them. I try to create positive neural pathways, but that just makes me more stressed about it. There are things I'm supposed to tell myself when I feel negative, but I think I get that confused and tell myself those things every time I have thoughts about what I did. Which is feeding into a mental compulsion (replacing every "bad" thought with a "good" one. What works for me is (if I can) do nothing and have the thoughts... It's been hard to get better because I have had no idea what's been happening to me and felt like for the last year I was going crazy... I always thought OCD was cleaning stuff and physical compulsions . Everything that happened to me happened in my head. On the worst days when my OCD is really bad, every single time I was conscious and aware, I was thinking about the fact that I did self-harm. I would lie in bed all day trying to figure out my thoughts because I thought if I watched TV, I would be avoiding important things. I thought I had to figure out all my thoughts. I would ruminate, replay, and second-guess all. day. long. It was hard to do any of the things I loved; OCD took the joy out of it. It was hard to recognize it was OCD because I thought I had done something seriously bad and wrong, and that I must deserve these thoughts. I think the trick is that you feel like you must have positive thoughts, and the most distressing thing wasn't necessarily the fact that I did self-harm, but the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I find the best thing you can do is just have all your thoughts in your head and try not to separate them from good and bad, if you can. It's nice to have people who understand!!!! More to come, about the journey. My favorite thing to say when I'm stuck is "that sly devil... OCD. Silly OCD is getting to me right now, but it won't last forever. That sneaky guy tricked me again." Love you!!!

Hello everyone. Good morning to you all. This week has been tough for me. I've had a hard time keeping my head up. Every day, I wake up at 5 or so with intense feelings of dread. Shaking, racing thoughts, gagging, struggling to focus and get through work, intense feeling of panic, face flushing, wired but tired. I've been really going through it. And this is extra painful because: 1. I am doing better than I've done in a while. I've made plans and kept to them. 2. I've gotten great news this week about a potential job opportunity. It's a long-term plan, but I'm looking forward to the future like I haven't in months. (My OCD has mainly centered around work uncertainty) 3. My attitude is great. I'm not despairing. I know the morning anxiety is caused morning cortisol. I know my body may just be sensitized. I'm not actually panicking. I'm approaching the doom and gloom thoughts as I believe I should most of the time. So, what's going on? Here's my encouragement to you. This kind of anxiety is a lie. It has no bearing on reality. What I mean is when I wake up shaking, there is no actual danger. My fight or flight response is activating when there is nothing to fight and nothing to fly from. Why? Because my body is sensitized. I spent months waking up every day in a panic, giving in to intrusive thoughts, struggling with compulsions. I don't blame myself for this. It all happened very suddenly and I had no idea what was going on. Once I did, I started fighting it. But damage has been done. And damage takes time to heal. Every time I panicked, I reenforced that fight or flight response. I told my body it was right to panic. And so, now, it is sensitized. It responds with an unusual and inappropriate amount of panic to everything, especially mornings. What I try to remember, and encourage you to remember as well, is this: It takes time to heal. It is very easy for me to start to panic or despair. After all, I feel like I'm doing everything right. Obviously, there are things I can improve on, but I'm getting better. I'm starting to eat better. I'm exercising more. I'm floating through the anxiety. I'm cutting out compulsions. My job prospects are looking up. My relationship with my spouse and family is great. So why? Why? Why? Stop. Don't panic. Remember. You can do absolutely everything right. Anxiety can still come. That's what I mean when is said anxiety is a lie. It is. It's lying to you. You're just sensitized. Remember that it takes time to heal. It doesn't happen overnight. Don't let anxiety control your actions. Don't let it cause you stress and keep you in that cycle. Don't freak out when your heart races or you feel a surge of energy and you want to do anything to escape. Sit in that anxiety and let it pass by as it wishes. If you keep this up, it will get better. You'll become less sensitized. You'll have less anxiety. And when you do have it, it will bother you less, and less, and less. It just takes time. The biggest breakthroughs are often proceeded by the greatest struggles. Don't stop doing the right thing just because it doesn't "feel" good. Feelings are liers. Do what you're supposed to do despite the feelings. Keep up the good work. You're closer to success than you think. Go do something fun today. I'm going to go to the mall and I'm going to live in the present moment, whether anxiety is there or not. Thank you for reading. I am praying for you all.