[VENT] How does one deal with the fact that every waking moment you have some sort of v!olent or s€xual thoughts that they can’t control? Sometimes I want to gouge my eyes out with forks or rip out my vocal cords while I yell and scream. Pop a skull from the connected spine or boil something alive. As for the s€xual aspects I can’t even put it into words without the v!olent thoughts towards myself peeking through from guilt. It feels awful. I don’t want to live like this. To have strange aches from not being to physically h@rm myself or another. It just feels like there’s something wrong with me, probably because there clearly is. But I don’t know what it is. Is it OCD or is it just being f’d up in the head? How do people cope? It just seems so strange to me, especially since there’s no one I know that has these same thoughts. Not in my family and as far as I know not in my friends either. Am I a problem? Is it something fixable? Or am I just broken? I don’t know. All I really know is that I ain’t right and so far nothing seems to help. TL;DR Brain no worky. Must replace. </3

That seems to be something I forget a lot. Thank you.

It scares me thinking there could be telepaths. One day someone is gonna enter my brain and I’m gonna be sitting in there throwing rotten eggs at like a corpse or something (I dunno, first think that popped in my head). Thank you for your input. It makes me feel a bit better knowing I’m not alone.

@Dia Rancid Oh my god I used to police my thoughts SO MUCH, especially as a kid, because I was so afraid of the possibility that someone around me was a telepath. Swriously one of the most draining things you can do 😮‍💨 Definitely wasn’t helpful growing up with Christian religion, either. I was told during my whole childhood that when I croaked god was going to go through every single second of my life with me and scold me for the bad things I did and thought. And then they tell you that god is just sitting there everywhere listening to your thoughts and stuff. Fricken Christianity definitely helped give me ocd. Now as an adult I don’t believe in god or anything at all and it’s such a relief. It was hard when I was getting to that point though 💀 I kept telling myself stuff like “well if someone actually does end up reading my thoughts they’re just going to know everything about every animal on earth. Also I’m sure they’ve heard much, much worse because people are evil and insane so let them have to see my nasty intrusive thoughts with me” lol