Fear of Insomnia Hi, So I don’t know if anyone can relate to this, I have a fear of insomnia. It started a long long time ago and it was so much worse, it cause me a lot of anxious moments and nights crying but it’s been great for a few tears but I still am scared here and there, today I slept a lot ang I’m scared I may not get sleepy tonight and not be able to sleep wich is absolutely horrific to think about it, suffice to say it’s not going great for me right now, I just want some tips on how to be less anxious about this and tips on falling asleep, also I feel like this is tied to my OCD especially since it’s a heavily routine based fear and honestly any vast deviation from my normal routine makes me feel ungrounded, I appreciate any help you can offer

Perhaps you can identify with some of what I experience. I think all day that I won’t be able to sleep. It dominates my day. I dread getting into bed and not knowing if I will once again not sleep. That’s the obsession. I lay there getting more and more agitated and anxious as the night goes on. Then the compulsion kicks in. I will spend the night reviewing all the nights I didn’t sleep and what I could have done differently to change the outcome. Then I figure every strategy I can to get to sleep. Not only that but I figure out what the next day will be like if I don’t sleep, including what conversations I will have with people that would be included in the next days activities. I have to decide how to get out of plans since I will be exhausted. I need to cover up that I can’t be normal and sleep or they will think the worst of me The mental gymnastics to figure out how to do it right and finally sleep and have insomnia never be a part of my life is the compulsion. Figuring it out is the key. If I could figure it out I wouldn’t have insomnia. There is no figuring it out I have been tackling this problem with ERP for three years and what I have learned slowly but surely is that often my idea of just how horrible I will feel after not sleeping is often not nearly so bad. That is now. In the past my insomnia was so bad there were days I could barely put one foot in front of the other. Where fear of being stuck in the reality was almost more than I could deal with. My mind would project my future being as bad or worse than it already was. It was all consuming. I feared I would lose my mind and go insane. Let’s go to the present. I don’t sleep well every night. Some nights I never get to sleep. When that happens which is usually weekly I try my best to not pick apart why I am the way I am or what I should do and accept that for now and perhaps always I will have bad nights. As soon as I realize I am getting caught up in the compulsion of problem solving and try to redirect my thoughts. I play a meditation tape that often calms my mind. I try reading. I pet my cat and focus on how wonderful he is. If that doesn’t work I get up and away from the bedroom and play a computer game. When I realize I haven’t been thinking about not sleeping I go back to bed. Sometimes I get to sleep. If not I get up and get busy. I am passed lying there torturing myself with the thought of never sleeping again. I think that is important because it gives me a sense of power. I do have the ability to choose whether I wallow in the thoughts or resist and move on. Over time my sleep has become regular enough that the nights of not sleeping aren’t so hard on my body. I slept well for three nights last week and I felt so good. I attended my granddaughters birthday and it was so great. I was absolutely amazed that I could have such a wonderful day. So of course true to form OCD told me that night that it couldn’t last. That I had my one good day and my body is so messed up that it can’t sleep well another night. Needless to say I never slept. Yes I felt awful. But what is new is I didn’t think about it all day. It popped up a few times and I decided I would have an okay day anyway. And that night I slept so hard. I know this is scary and overwhelming. I’m here as proof that you can get better. You can put OCD in its place and not allow it to dominate and rule your life. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. People who don’t have OCD can’t begin to understand just how devastating it can be. But you have a huge community of fellow OCD survivors who know you can improve and begin to live the life you dream of. You will always deal with OCD Sometimes a little. Sometimes more. Do ERP faithfully and interact with people who share the same issues. You will succeed.

I am a terrible sleeper and experience a lot of anxiety around it. This is what works for me, absolutely not a "one size fits all" but just in case it's helpful: - I have to be distracted to fall asleep. If I am lying in bed understimulated, I will start ruminating about sleep. I usually put a TV show on my phone with the brightness dimmed and a sleep timer set. I prefer shows I've seen before with lots of dialogue but not very much background music or laugh tracks. Consistent sound, but no sudden surprising sounds. There are a lot of podcasts for this as well but I prefer TV. - If I find that I cannot sleep, I stop trying. I get out of my bed and go somewhere else. Doing anything too productive usually means I won't fall asleep again, but I can usually do light reading, TikTok, tv, or meditation. Sometimes I'll drink water, have a snack, or just hang out with my cat. Eventually when I feel tired enough I'll go back to bed and try again. - Make sure you're sleeping in positions that are healthy for your neck, back, and shoulders! Sometimes what I'm actually experiencing is physical pain but I process it as anxiety. Stretching before bed or during my sleep breaks sometimes helps. Lots of resources online about this. - Most Important One: don't beat yourself up for not sleeping like everyone else. Sleep for a couple hours at a time with breaks, allow yourself a stupid and nitpicky pillow configuration, do what you have to. Bodies and brains are weird, try to learn how you want to sleep and follow your bodies' cues. - when all else fails, meds are your friend. I take 3mg of melatonin nightly but I have zzquil on standby for nights when it's real bad. Take note of what makes you groggy and adjust as needed. If you need something stronger than OTC talk to your doctor. Sleep is important and worth it!