- Username
- ChrisOCD
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Oh yes indeed! All the time. It seems so real and because the same thought is constantly in your head you think it must be real as it seems so vivid all the time....but it can switch ever so slightly like all of my obsessions have. I will start off worrying if this or that happened in a certain way then it will change ever so slightly saying well did this happen instead! It confuses me so much because if it had happened in the first place there is No way it would change ever so slightly! Just a horrible illness it is. Hope you are Ok x
Exactly!! That is OCD for you. It is a very horrible twisted disorder.
This is exactly what I'm going through. I had an overnight stay with work colleagues and I woke up thinking I'd cheated on my partner. I have ruminated for months now and its changed I.e thinking i cheated in the nightclub, then thinking I'd cheated in the hotel room, the person changed etc
you would like to think someone would remember cheating...alcohol or not
There's no way you can have 100% certainty. You have to live your life (as hard as it may be), and pretend there's nothing to worry about. If you're ever confronted on this false memory and told it was real - then you can react/deal with it. You might feel like you're living a lie, but if you want to be happy you have no choice. I have this very type of OCD and it's hell, but you can do it - we all can.
I know you can never be 100% certain but when you think of things logically vs not logical, sometimes the thoughts just seem plain stupid. Of course this doesn't matter because OCD will always cause doubt. Just with me, my theme is always the worst case scenario, and that scenario changes the more I think about it.
Question for you guys, Those of you who suffer from HOCD or POCD and have vivid memories that contradict who you feel you are, how do you manage those memories? I had an OCD/anxiety attack that clinged on to the memories around me being curious after being bullied in school. My OCD keeps telling me that I enjoyed those experiences more than I should have. Even though it ended in tears and me knowing that that's not who I am, my OCD keeps telling me that it's an indication of my being gay or bi. I realize that some of those memories may be fake, but in the scope of acceptance of uncertainty let's assume that everything is right. My therapist tried to calm me down by saying that this is really normal and expected in young children and that it has nothing to do with who we are, especially since I was interested in girls and always fantasized about chased after them from a very young age.
Does anyone else know they didn’t do something but than they can’t be certain they didn’t ? I have intrusive thoughts that make me terrified I have abused a child. One minute I’m positive I haven’t and the next I can’t be 100%. I end up going over a situation so much I add details that then become real to me and make me doubt myself more. For example, I just changed her diaper and now I’m terrified I did something I wasn’t suppose to even though I know I didn’t. But now I’m sitting here concerned I did. How do you cope with this?
Does it ever feel like the thing you’re afraid of is unquestionably real? And if you tried to think otherwise it’s just you being in denial? How real can OCD feel? Is there even a limit?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond