“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” 💛 ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭94:19‬ Consolation- comfort, compassion, support

So I’m not sure how many/if any of you are Christians, but I’m assuming this can still make sense to some of you. This morning has been rough. I’m constantly thinking, “am I saved? Have I never been saved and I’m tricking myself into thinking I am? When I’m listening to Christian music am I doing for the right reasons? Is it too late for me?”. Things I know the truthful answers to but yet I still think these thoughts. I don’t understand why. Why do I constantly think about these “what if”’s? My heart always feels so heavy and I feel as if I need to talk to God right then and there to make it stop and go away. But then am I talking to the Lord for the wrong reasons? And the cycle repeats. Thankfully, day one of my therapy is tonight and I’m hoping to find at least a little clarity on this stuff. I’ve had OCD for 7 years and I don’t even know how it works. Any advice?

So I just joined and I’ve been reading through this forum. And I feel a strong sense of compassion for everyone here. Reading about people’s OCD concerns shows me that people with OCD may be particularly sensitive and caring. I have struggled with OCD since I was a kid, but having compassion for other people’s OCD is helping me have compassion for myself. Maybe that perspective might help another person. If we can have grace for another person, we can give ourselves grace as well. I’m working on self forgiveness and gentleness when normally I beat myself up for my intrusive thoughts

Is it possible to follow Christ without actually believing? I want God but don't always trust and especially with Jesus/Christianity. I want to believe and I don't but I am still drawn in; it is comforting and compelling. I like what Jesus represented, I like the teachings (although don't always seem practical and seemingly so hard to live up to), and I LOVE Christian music. I love the community. It is so hard to embrace it really and it although gives me comfort brings on a lot of anxiety and confusion. I feel like I have no control to function when I am supposed to let myself be led; I don't even know what that means when I have to think and move my body to live. I want to have a strong faith in God in general without feeling condemned. I want to feel there is a God holding on to me so I don't feel so alone, restless, and lost. Who better to love than your creator? Who better to put your trust in to help you in times of despair. I cant help to think that the Bible is a myth and although if Jesus did exist was only a prophet. My conditioning and impulses are constantly rejecting it and so many times I opened myself up only to quit the next day because it doesn't stick. I am constantly met with rejecting thoughts and fear. It's not sustainable. At the same time, I love him and his story well I only read a little of the Bible and intended to sermons, etc. Another thing, how do I know what is the truth when I am getting interpretations of the Bible when reading, listening to others interpretations through pastoral sermons and other people voicing their opinion?