Any tips to help with intrusive thoughts like “what if I’m better without my bf because these thoughts will do away “ “what if it’s not a right relationship “ But deep in my heart I cannot let him go I care and love him sm when I break down and have these spirals I’m able to know so fast this is what I want but when it’s a regular day I wake up and it’s starts all over he said “baby don’t put time into these thoughts “ but how am I supposed to not put time into them when they are circling my head then I had a stupid dream about an ex and I know u can’t control dreams so the dream doesn’t mean anything but it hurts and I feel so guilty and it makes me think does it mean I don’t love him or shouldn’t be with him . Just need tips to help me through this .

Saraa

Date posted: 3y

Breathe. Take some deep breath. Having thoughts doesn't mean having already an answer. There isn't "a switch", something that in one day will make your doubts sopportabile. You need practice and a lot of efforts. It's hard, but with time; you will learn to manage thought, and they will not bother you anymore. Take it as a journey with yourself, something that will help you to understand "you" better. Not only about ocd/rocd, but generally. You need to understand what are your deep beliefs, that makes this thoughts so painful. (For me; a game changer was understanding that there isn't "the right one", that having doubts doesn't means that there is something wrong, that I could pursue whatever decision I want even if not feeling it). There are so much things you can improve! Your attachment style, your dreams, your thinking process... Take bad moments as free erp! Try to accept whatever emotion you feel! Don't be "omg I'm anxious, he can't be the one I must go". You are anxious? Sit with your anxiety and try to accept it without doing compulsion. (I'll tell you a secret, it's okay in a relationship don't feel the sparkle all the time). At first one thing that helped me was writing down all doubts and posticipate the answer! Like okay, now had written my doubt, at 10pm I will answer it!

lexi1347

Date posted: 3y

I know I love him so much I know I do there’s no no way I don’t it’s been a year with him he matters he comforts me he supports me I don’t wanna leave that I don’t wanna leave him . I don’t crave anyone but him then I have these stupid dreams about an ex and I feel happy in the dream then I think is it Bc I’m not happy with my boyfriend why am I dreaming about the past but my mother and bf both told me you literally cannot control a dream . I feel so guilty inside to think such stupid things and have doubts about someone I know I cannot let go of I just can’t get my heart to let him go

lexi1347

Date posted: 3y

I just want him to come over and hug me and he always tells me everything gonna work out with us don’t put time in bri your intrusive thoughts because you know in your heart how you really feel but then I think what if it’s a lie and it hurts so so much .

lexi1347

Date posted: 3y

I know I want to love him and I cannot I just can’t take a break or break up with him my mom said If i didn’t love him why would it hurt me so much if I didn’t . When u don’t love someone y don’t care anymore she said you don’t feel the need to cry about you just get uo and walk away . I just want him to be with me rn to help me through this he’s my biggest support , and I love him sm for everything he’s ever done then I fear what if I live him for the wrong reasons then I start to circle in my thoughts again .

Saraa

Date posted: 3y

@lexi1347 I know the feelings. I used to gave soo much importance to dreams too. You don't need to prove yourself your love. You want to stay with your bf? Than stay! Stay no matter what! You feel bad? Stay anyway!

lexi1347

Date posted: 3y

@Saraa my head just tells me am I with him for the wrong reasons do I love him for try eating right Eason and it hurts so so bad

lexi1347

Date posted: 3y

@Saraa We jumped in the relationship right after my ex broke up with me and maybe he was a rebound at first to fill a void but I fell in love with him the way he treated me the way he comfort me the way he always made me laugh and try to show me real love the way he holds me like what if all of those are for the wrong reasons to “fill a void “ and I get so so scared because I don’t want that to be true it hurts to think it’s true because I never use people that’s not me .

lexi1347

Date posted: 3y

@Saraa I just can’t think about using him or loving him for the wrong reasons I’m just so scared it’s true I’m so scared it hurts my heart it makes my heart so god damn heavy and it feels like I can’t breathe and I can’t stop curing because the thought of that kills my heart and kills my soul

lexi1347

Date posted: 3y

@Saraa I’ve never ever had anyone understand me or love me or anything like that other than him he never gave up on me he never gave up on me and I don’t wanna give up on that but what if that’s all for the wrong reasons it hurts me so so much

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond