- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Breathe. Take some deep breath. Having thoughts doesn't mean having already an answer. There isn't "a switch", something that in one day will make your doubts sopportabile. You need practice and a lot of efforts. It's hard, but with time; you will learn to manage thought, and they will not bother you anymore. Take it as a journey with yourself, something that will help you to understand "you" better. Not only about ocd/rocd, but generally. You need to understand what are your deep beliefs, that makes this thoughts so painful. (For me; a game changer was understanding that there isn't "the right one", that having doubts doesn't means that there is something wrong, that I could pursue whatever decision I want even if not feeling it). There are so much things you can improve! Your attachment style, your dreams, your thinking process... Take bad moments as free erp! Try to accept whatever emotion you feel! Don't be "omg I'm anxious, he can't be the one I must go". You are anxious? Sit with your anxiety and try to accept it without doing compulsion. (I'll tell you a secret, it's okay in a relationship don't feel the sparkle all the time). At first one thing that helped me was writing down all doubts and posticipate the answer! Like okay, now had written my doubt, at 10pm I will answer it!
- Date posted
- 3y
I know I love him so much I know I do there’s no no way I don’t it’s been a year with him he matters he comforts me he supports me I don’t wanna leave that I don’t wanna leave him . I don’t crave anyone but him then I have these stupid dreams about an ex and I feel happy in the dream then I think is it Bc I’m not happy with my boyfriend why am I dreaming about the past but my mother and bf both told me you literally cannot control a dream . I feel so guilty inside to think such stupid things and have doubts about someone I know I cannot let go of I just can’t get my heart to let him go
- Date posted
- 3y
I just want him to come over and hug me and he always tells me everything gonna work out with us don’t put time in bri your intrusive thoughts because you know in your heart how you really feel but then I think what if it’s a lie and it hurts so so much .
- Date posted
- 3y
I know I want to love him and I cannot I just can’t take a break or break up with him my mom said If i didn’t love him why would it hurt me so much if I didn’t . When u don’t love someone y don’t care anymore she said you don’t feel the need to cry about you just get uo and walk away . I just want him to be with me rn to help me through this he’s my biggest support , and I love him sm for everything he’s ever done then I fear what if I live him for the wrong reasons then I start to circle in my thoughts again .
- Date posted
- 3y
@lexi1347 I know the feelings. I used to gave soo much importance to dreams too. You don't need to prove yourself your love. You want to stay with your bf? Than stay! Stay no matter what! You feel bad? Stay anyway!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Saraa my head just tells me am I with him for the wrong reasons do I love him for try eating right Eason and it hurts so so bad
- Date posted
- 3y
@Saraa We jumped in the relationship right after my ex broke up with me and maybe he was a rebound at first to fill a void but I fell in love with him the way he treated me the way he comfort me the way he always made me laugh and try to show me real love the way he holds me like what if all of those are for the wrong reasons to “fill a void “ and I get so so scared because I don’t want that to be true it hurts to think it’s true because I never use people that’s not me .
- Date posted
- 3y
@Saraa I just can’t think about using him or loving him for the wrong reasons I’m just so scared it’s true I’m so scared it hurts my heart it makes my heart so god damn heavy and it feels like I can’t breathe and I can’t stop curing because the thought of that kills my heart and kills my soul
- Date posted
- 3y
@Saraa I’ve never ever had anyone understand me or love me or anything like that other than him he never gave up on me he never gave up on me and I don’t wanna give up on that but what if that’s all for the wrong reasons it hurts me so so much
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Please help I am having the worst spiral I have had in 5 years. I am doing so bad to the point I could not even sleep. I’m so scared, anxious and confused. I did ocd therapy for a long time and my therapist told me I was doing so well I needed to stop. Which I was until about 2-3 weeks ago it started back super bad. And now as of yesterday the intrusive thoughts feel more definitive. They are making me spiral, it literally feels like my brain is jumping from side to side. I love my boyfriend more than I knew was humanly possible. I haven’t lost my attraction to him, not that I know of… I don’t want to break up with him bc i love him, I think he’s hot, I want to marry him but I’m terrified that I am just lying and that the feelings never were true! I don’t know how to make it stop. I tried all night not to research and I had to give in. 😭 this is hell
- Date posted
- 24w
So recently I have been talking to this guy and I really like him and for the past week I felt really good and happy about it, but then a sneaky intrusive thought popped up about what if in the future when and if the time comes to sleep in the same bed, I inappropriately touch him while he’s sleeping. Now I’ve struggled with sexual intrusive thoughts like that before so my brain just kept reminding me of how that thought felt the last time it came up, and the thoughts of sexually harming this person started snowballing and making me feel worse and worse. I spent most of the day crying and panicking wishing my brain could just shut down, and now all I want to do is hide from this person so I don’t get the chance to hurt him, which makes me feel even worse because I had been feeling so good about him just the other day. I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced this and if they might have any insight
- Date posted
- 21w
Hello, this is my second post, not too long ago i made my first, talking about a sudden come-back of my intrusive thoughts. This post will talk about another of my issues, mainly regarding ocd (obviously) and relationships. As i had said before, i had been feeling terrible and felt like i didnt deserve love, especially the love of the guy that i love. I would like to add that in prior moments we have promised eachother and he has reassured me he will never leave me, but today he was pretty much gone all day (long distance) and for the most part ive just been overthinking, all night, actually.. thinking that at any moment he will just randomly block me on everything and never talk to me again. Its now 4:03 AM, and i just feel so scared. Im scared of losing him, this is predominantly because in a past relationship things ended suddenly, my ex switched up after we had promises and everything and i am absolutely horrified of things ending the same way for me and him. I’ve been anxious, trying to take my mind off of it, but if i do, my mind tells me that if i look away, when i look back, i’ll miss it and he’ll have already blocked me. and tries to tie in earlier conversations i had throughout the day and somehow ties them back to now. (Like my bestfriend telling me she had some dream where i apologized to my friends for ‘leaving’) For the past few hours ive just been out of it. Im scared of being obsessive, Im scared of losing him, and whenever i check to see, my heart skips a beat because i thinks he’s gone. The thing is, I know this isnt the case, and I know there must be an explanation, but for some reason im still worried. and I know these thoughts arent a reflection of reality, but ive also had the idea that my thoughts can also affect what actually happens. I would also like to add that he lives in the US and is mexican, and with the increasing violent situation, my mind even starts to wander off and ask itself what if something happened to him? It makes it worse. because i can’t control it. and that makes me afraid. Im also worried about being a horrible partner, about everything failing and its all just making me feel worse. Yesterday morning I woke up feeling sort of out of it, and throughout the day i felt as if i were emotionless, which made me wonder what if i had lost emotions for him? this also happens to me sometimes. I, for some reason begin thinking like “you lost your love for him nothings gonna happen ever.” and my mind starts making up reasons why, or simply gives me this feeling of emptiness for that love, as if i have been detached from it. and then i overthink again “what if i actually dont love him but im just obsessed and thats all it is an obsession and none of it is real?” that last part, im feeling it right now. along with everything else. Im exhausted, Im tired, and i just want to be happy with him. Thank you to all those who choose to read this. thank you. ❤️ Edit: I would also like to add that ive been also dealing with the occasional regular intrusive thoughts. which dont form fully in my brain but i can still sort of, “feel” the intrusive thoughts uncomfortable themes.
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