- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I feel like somebody has to say… What’s wrong with that? I mean, you wouldn’t be here if no one ever looked at anyone else’s privates. That’s how humans make humans: we have sex There’s nothing wrong with noticing people’s bodies. I mean, if by stare you mean uncontrollably GAWK in such a way that you make the other person uncomfortable… that’s a social problem; it’s just not very cool or attractive behavior, but it’s not a moral failing (unless it’s actually meant to make the other person uncomfortable or feel threatened). POCD and any other “sex non-consenting themed OCD” begins with a judgment, and it is a sound, reasonable judgment: this intrusive thought or what is implied by this thought is immoral. However, the source of the thought is not desire, but fear. This realization lowers the stakes, so we know we are not on trial, there is nothing broken about our souls. Now we are better postitioned to use ERP to decrease the compulsions and eventually, dramatically decrease or eliminate the Intrusive thoughts themselves. If we had any doubt about whether the thought was based on desire instead of fear, we will know it was based on fear once the Intrusive thoughts have decreased—meaning, an actual pedophile’s thoughts would not go away through ERP; only a POCD sufferer would see those thoughts eliminated via ERP. So this is how we handle intrusive thoughts about behavior that is truly immoral. But when the intrusive thought is not about something immoral, consider trying to accept that this may be a legitimate desire of yours, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Most people, especially most men, look at people’s privates for as long as it takes them to masturbate, anywhere from once a day to once a week. Usually younger men spend more time—maybe even many times a day! Don’t hate on yourself, if you can help it.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you for normalizing that!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
wait, i’m scared i don’t know if i read this wrong but if someone doesn’t get better from erp it makes you a real life pedo?😞 im panicking
- Date posted
- 3y ago
i suffer from POCD
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anonymous_234 No, it doesn’t mean that at all, I’m sorry it sounded that way. And I’m just some guy—don’t take my insight as any more valuable than your own. Have you done the exposures? This changed everything for me. Eventually I went to a city park and as kids played, running and squealing, I just read and ate, alone—I didn’t focus on the children except for a minute here and there, BUT, I didn’t avoid them either—I acknowledged their presence fully. I had all sorts of intrusive thoughts: images and even genital response, but I kept doing it, and for me, it worked pretty quick But to my amazement, within a few weeks of doing the exposures, it all just went away. I have had a night or two that felt like a relapse, but that’s maybe a half dozen times a year. I still ruminate and have some other compulsions, but the big ones that had me questioning if I’m a good person? those are resolved, and I know I’m good, and I know I’m not a pedophile Prior to that, my exposure was watching these adorable child development psych videos.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yep, it’s a sly compulsion. I think it’s OCD wanting you to test your reaction to staring at those places to get you confused and ruminating. Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s not your fault. Just accept that it happens from time to time with self compassion
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
This happens to me sometimes! I do it without realizing too. And I’ve done it for years even before my major OCD spike. Was it OCD before I even had a big OCD theme? My theme right now is sexual orientation ocd.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
i thought i was alone😞 i’m struggling with this so bad. i hate even stepping out of my room anymore, this sucks so bad. do you also suffer from pocd?😞
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I experience this too so much it’s horrifying and makes you doubt your own morality, you aren’t alone please reach out and get help when you can. Until then reach out to kids helpline if you can I’ve always found them really supportive
- Date posted
- 3y ago
im panicking so bad
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hey I’m so sorry please reach out to kids helpline oaky they really help me, you aren’t alone in this compulsion
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Forest13 Whats the kids hotline?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Anonymous Sorry this is based in Australia I’m not sure what it is there where you are there is a thing called kids helpline phone I think it’s for america
- Date posted
- 3y ago
does this make me a monster?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w ago
I’m really struggling with something related to me ocd, and I would appreciate kind and supportive advice. If you can’t relate or don’t think anything you have to say would be helpful, I kindly ask pls refrain from commenting this is a really sensitive topic for me. Recently, I’ve noticed a pattern that feels something extremely new and distressing. The first time it happened I remember telling myself before self pleasuring that I am in control no matter what thought comes into my mind because I wanted to prove to myself that these thoughts are just from OCD and I know who I am and an intrusive that came out of no where, and i suddenly felt an intense fear that I was acting on it. In the moment I genuinely felt like I did. And afterword, I panicked and started questioning myself. This SAME FEELING has happened three times in a row each time, the intrusive thought was unwanted and random, and completely against my morals most recently it involved pocd and it feels even worse because it generally felt like I acted on it the thought in the moment while I was self pleasuring the panic doesn’t hit until afterwards when I stop :/ I start thinking that maybe I generally made a mistake and I’m now just realizing that it’s wrong because it generally feels like that :( but when I actually think about it again goes against my morals and values doesn’t make sense it feels incredibly real, and I can’t seem to shake this feeling off that I may have acted on it I’m terrified because I never wanted these thoughts in the first place. And I definitely didn’t choose them. If I had known, I would’ve had these intrusive thoughts I wouldn’t have self pleasured in the first place but it’s extremely hard to convince myself that this may be OCD because I feel like I have no other reason to believe that I didn’t act on it :/
- Date posted
- 7w ago
Hi I just have a few questions! (Im 14 btw) Okay so basically I’m really worried I’ll become a pedo/I already am and I don’t know it yet. I’m also really scared if I SA someone, even tho I don’t want to and I’d never do something like that but I feel like this part of me is saying that I will and it’s really scaring me. I feel so alone and I’m so scared I’m a bad person on the inside and this isn’t ocd and I’m gonna unleash hell on this earth I’m so scared. I’ll get a thought like if I’m walking past someone random it will be like “What if you sa them?” And it scares me so bad I feel horrible for thinking that. Is this apart of it? I feel like I’m always fixated on the topic of sa to check if I would do something like that, I don’t know anymore I just feel like a bad person (btw I have not done anything like that to anyone!)
- Date posted
- 4w ago
Hi everyone, I suffer from a really embarrassing form of ocd and it’s one of the worst ones-staring ocd. I quit my job last year because of it and I’m going back to work next week and I need some tips as my job is very customer forward. I have really bad anxiety around people wearing anything that shows their stomach or cleavage. My ocd always fears I’m going to look at the wrong places and it even goes to their movements randomly and makes me look like a weirdo because my eye darts to their hands. It’s gotten so bad it’s become a habit and now my eye instantly goes to those areas. It’s very frustrating and it’s ruining my social life. Please no judgement, I know it’s a weird form and I wish I never developed it. Any help is appreciated.
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