- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel like somebody has to say… What’s wrong with that? I mean, you wouldn’t be here if no one ever looked at anyone else’s privates. That’s how humans make humans: we have sex There’s nothing wrong with noticing people’s bodies. I mean, if by stare you mean uncontrollably GAWK in such a way that you make the other person uncomfortable… that’s a social problem; it’s just not very cool or attractive behavior, but it’s not a moral failing (unless it’s actually meant to make the other person uncomfortable or feel threatened). POCD and any other “sex non-consenting themed OCD” begins with a judgment, and it is a sound, reasonable judgment: this intrusive thought or what is implied by this thought is immoral. However, the source of the thought is not desire, but fear. This realization lowers the stakes, so we know we are not on trial, there is nothing broken about our souls. Now we are better postitioned to use ERP to decrease the compulsions and eventually, dramatically decrease or eliminate the Intrusive thoughts themselves. If we had any doubt about whether the thought was based on desire instead of fear, we will know it was based on fear once the Intrusive thoughts have decreased—meaning, an actual pedophile’s thoughts would not go away through ERP; only a POCD sufferer would see those thoughts eliminated via ERP. So this is how we handle intrusive thoughts about behavior that is truly immoral. But when the intrusive thought is not about something immoral, consider trying to accept that this may be a legitimate desire of yours, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Most people, especially most men, look at people’s privates for as long as it takes them to masturbate, anywhere from once a day to once a week. Usually younger men spend more time—maybe even many times a day! Don’t hate on yourself, if you can help it.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for normalizing that!
- Date posted
- 3y
wait, i’m scared i don’t know if i read this wrong but if someone doesn’t get better from erp it makes you a real life pedo?😞 im panicking
- Date posted
- 3y
i suffer from POCD
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous_234 No, it doesn’t mean that at all, I’m sorry it sounded that way. And I’m just some guy—don’t take my insight as any more valuable than your own. Have you done the exposures? This changed everything for me. Eventually I went to a city park and as kids played, running and squealing, I just read and ate, alone—I didn’t focus on the children except for a minute here and there, BUT, I didn’t avoid them either—I acknowledged their presence fully. I had all sorts of intrusive thoughts: images and even genital response, but I kept doing it, and for me, it worked pretty quick But to my amazement, within a few weeks of doing the exposures, it all just went away. I have had a night or two that felt like a relapse, but that’s maybe a half dozen times a year. I still ruminate and have some other compulsions, but the big ones that had me questioning if I’m a good person? those are resolved, and I know I’m good, and I know I’m not a pedophile Prior to that, my exposure was watching these adorable child development psych videos.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yep, it’s a sly compulsion. I think it’s OCD wanting you to test your reaction to staring at those places to get you confused and ruminating. Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s not your fault. Just accept that it happens from time to time with self compassion
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
This happens to me sometimes! I do it without realizing too. And I’ve done it for years even before my major OCD spike. Was it OCD before I even had a big OCD theme? My theme right now is sexual orientation ocd.
- Date posted
- 3y
i thought i was alone😞 i’m struggling with this so bad. i hate even stepping out of my room anymore, this sucks so bad. do you also suffer from pocd?😞
- Date posted
- 3y
I experience this too so much it’s horrifying and makes you doubt your own morality, you aren’t alone please reach out and get help when you can. Until then reach out to kids helpline if you can I’ve always found them really supportive
- Date posted
- 3y
im panicking so bad
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey I’m so sorry please reach out to kids helpline oaky they really help me, you aren’t alone in this compulsion
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Forest13 Whats the kids hotline?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Sorry this is based in Australia I’m not sure what it is there where you are there is a thing called kids helpline phone I think it’s for america
- Date posted
- 3y
does this make me a monster?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I feel so ridiculous saying this. Has anyone struggled with looking down a people’s private areas since having ocd. I hate it, but feel I have to look or find myself just looking. I feel so guilty after and especially when it’s a women I kinda shudder after like why did I just do that. Ugh I hate this. I never used to have this issue but now I’m focusing on it my anxiety is going crazy with it . If people have experienced, how did you get over this??? My sexual orientation is thriving off this . I hate it
- Date posted
- 21w
Hi everyone, I suffer from a really embarrassing form of ocd and it’s one of the worst ones-staring ocd. I quit my job last year because of it and I’m going back to work next week and I need some tips as my job is very customer forward. I have really bad anxiety around people wearing anything that shows their stomach or cleavage. My ocd always fears I’m going to look at the wrong places and it even goes to their movements randomly and makes me look like a weirdo because my eye darts to their hands. It’s gotten so bad it’s become a habit and now my eye instantly goes to those areas. It’s very frustrating and it’s ruining my social life. Please no judgement, I know it’s a weird form and I wish I never developed it. Any help is appreciated.
- Date posted
- 20w
TW// nsfw and 18 up pls i can self pleasure without even realizing it. not like full blown, but it just happens when i dissociate and think about past flings or whenever im bored. just like casual touching myself. sometimes it happens when im scrolling on my phone or when im doing school work. what sucks is sometimes kids will pop up on my phone and for example today i was doing studies on a mental health in children. when i came to, basically becoming fully aware, i was like wtf. because of what was on my screen and what i was researching. it freaked me out really bad and i know it wasn’t with any bad intent it just makes me feel bad if that makes sense. like i dissociate basically and i am doing the touching like on pilot mode if that makes sense so whatever content on my phone or schoolwork isn’t even associated with the act. It just makes me feel like i was doing it to whatever was on my screen which ik I wasn’t bc I would’ve been aware and freaked tf out but I still am freaking out. this has happened before and I just move on bc I know what I was doing and like it wasn’t even a compulsion like “oh am I attracted to this?” Like the compulsions that come with sexual ocd. It was just autopilot dissociative self touching and I just was zoning out while doing my work. idk if this makes sense I probably sound like a monster. I keep having what if thoughts like what if I was doing it to that or what if I am a monster and it’s that bad to the point where I am unaware
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