does anyone else catch themselves accidentally staring at people in the wrong places as in their private areas? i hate this so fucken much. i have no thoughts when doing it but when i realized i looked i feel irritated and frustrated bc i feel like im a bad person or something. i feel like it’s a never ending battle with ocd.

I feel like somebody has to say… What’s wrong with that? I mean, you wouldn’t be here if no one ever looked at anyone else’s privates. That’s how humans make humans: we have sex There’s nothing wrong with noticing people’s bodies. I mean, if by stare you mean uncontrollably GAWK in such a way that you make the other person uncomfortable… that’s a social problem; it’s just not very cool or attractive behavior, but it’s not a moral failing (unless it’s actually meant to make the other person uncomfortable or feel threatened). POCD and any other “sex non-consenting themed OCD” begins with a judgment, and it is a sound, reasonable judgment: this intrusive thought or what is implied by this thought is immoral. However, the source of the thought is not desire, but fear. This realization lowers the stakes, so we know we are not on trial, there is nothing broken about our souls. Now we are better postitioned to use ERP to decrease the compulsions and eventually, dramatically decrease or eliminate the Intrusive thoughts themselves. If we had any doubt about whether the thought was based on desire instead of fear, we will know it was based on fear once the Intrusive thoughts have decreased—meaning, an actual pedophile’s thoughts would not go away through ERP; only a POCD sufferer would see those thoughts eliminated via ERP. So this is how we handle intrusive thoughts about behavior that is truly immoral. But when the intrusive thought is not about something immoral, consider trying to accept that this may be a legitimate desire of yours, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Most people, especially most men, look at people’s privates for as long as it takes them to masturbate, anywhere from once a day to once a week. Usually younger men spend more time—maybe even many times a day! Don’t hate on yourself, if you can help it.

Yep, it’s a sly compulsion. I think it’s OCD wanting you to test your reaction to staring at those places to get you confused and ruminating. Don’t be hard on yourself. It’s not your fault. Just accept that it happens from time to time with self compassion

I experience this too so much it’s horrifying and makes you doubt your own morality, you aren’t alone please reach out and get help when you can. Until then reach out to kids helpline if you can I’ve always found them really supportive

im panicking so bad

does this make me a monster?