At the risk of reassurance- One thing I’ve realized after my endless battle with ocd (20 years or so)… Is that it’s always going to feel real. It’s always going to feel like you “want” it. It wouldn’t be ocd if it didn’t. If it didn’t feel real, why else would we be so distressed? If it felt fake, we wouldn’t even care. It wants to keep us stuck in a state of flight or fight to “protect” us from perceived danger. Misfiring of the signals in the brain create the sensations, urges, feelings. To keep us stuck and believing we are in imminent danger. Just a little food for thought.