- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I know it's hard as hell but I think the only way to get over those thoughts is to discuss it with your therapist, and continue doing erp to get better I know how you feel I struggle A LOT with thoughts about bestiality and pedophilia
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for the advice
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonym1l ur welcome i really hope it helps, remember ur braver than you know
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi! I don’t think any of this is out of the ordinary at all especially for us who have an OCD wired brain. I don’t want to downplay your fear at all but I interpret this to mean you were just exploring what was out there not seeking out something. It is also common for straight women to be aroused by images of other women in addition to those of men. When I was first beginning my recovery from OCD guilt was such a large part of my OCD cycle and I didn’t even know. I think for those of us with SOOCD, POCD and ROCD can feel such shame, not only from thoughts but also in trying to explain to others what we are going through. In my opinion, the shame and anxiety that you describe are really textbook OCD. One thing my therapist taught me about leaning into my fear (this is probably only something you should do in recovery with support) is to challenge your doubt. So let’s say your OCD says “you don’t even know your own sexuality”…you could challenge it by saying “you know what maybe I don’t” and then move on. I know it’s easier said than done but don’t try to figure out what these things mean. Everyday we try to answer the same question our OCD poses to us. Don’t do it. I think part of acknowledging your OCD can involve sharing it with someone who cares about you and wants the best for you. I told my mom probably 10 years ago when I first started to experience intrusive sexual thoughts. I was like “ mom, I don’t know what this is and I don’t like it”. I only found out it was OCD this past year, 2021, and being able to call my mom and talk about therapy or medication has been incredible. There are things I don’t tell her because I can’t handle it but I do tell my therapist. She is there solely to listen and help me and most of the time they’ve heard it all. If I were you I’d begin with baby steps, maybe text a therapist first and try to share through text or writing an email. All that said, this is from my own personal experience but I really resonate with your story. You are not a crazy creep and I would be surprised if you had some sexual hormonal disease lol!
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much for the advices! I really appreciate that you took your time to write this. I feel so much better now!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared
- Date posted
- 20w
Hey guys I'm 17 years old I had experience with OCD I looked trans pornography and femboy stuff I'm straight I didn't jerk off to it I was really only looking at it in the past I have but for some reason I just felt like looking at it and when I did I did experience arousal not only that while I had a boner I simultaneously was thinking of memories and bad actions I had in 4th grade with another boy I myself not a homosexual I was a kid I did something with another boy I regret it I had that thought in my head lingering there in my head but I noticed pre ejaculation and now I feel anxiety because now it feels like I was intrigued by the thought it feels like it is it was probably to the video visual stimulus but it's hard I didn't jerk off to it at all I was really just looking idk what to do it feels like I did experience it to the video but also my thoughts say to the thought idk what to do can someone shed light on this
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- Date posted
- 13w
I’ve always been straight my whole life and I’ve never considered being different nor have i ever had attraction to women but lately I’ve been going through a lot of different thoughts that definitely feel unlike me. When I was a kid and I don’t remember how old I was but im sure like 7 or 8 and my cousin that was I very close to had me do inappropriate things to her that I didn’t really know anything about at that time. After that happened to me I knew it was wrong and I felt so bad and disgusting and scared but at the time I didn’t really know anything and I remember when my mom would drop me over my grandmas house while she would work, I’d take my grandma’s phone and I looked up kissing videos and I saw the kissing scene from Jennifer’s body and looking back on it I just feel so much shame and confusion bc it certainly feels embarrassing. My cousin always liked girls but I never did. I loved sitting and watching Disney movies preferably princess and the frog and wanting to be a princess getting married to a prince just like in all the movies. I knew who I was from a very young age and that never changed about me. When I learned what porn was at an older age, I started becoming hyper sexual so I watched tutorials videos of women to learn how to pleasure myself. When I was a kid and to now I’ve never looked at women in that way. I’ve had best friends and sleepovers it’s never been anything sexual, romantic, or intimate. Just simply innocent friendships and hangouts. When I got to high school that’s when i started remembering what happened to me and i remember how the girls would talk about their first kisses and i remembered my sa and how I felt so scared to say anything to anyone bc I didn’t want people to think badly of me simply bc my first kiss was like that so I would simply just not say anything. Lately I’ve been having obsessive thoughts out of nowhere wondering if my sexuality has changed or if im bi or is it just my thoughts? I’ve always had ocd and even in school, the kids would pick at me because I always eat my food in order and by the lightest color. But lately it’s gotten worse. It’s like I’ve never had thoughts like this nor have I ever been like this. Not even when I was a child. And humans question themselves of course but this feels like something different. I’ve gotten distant from my best friend who’s also a girl and I’ve just cut off social media and female friend relationships at all because for some reason my brain tells me that it’s “gay” to even hug your friends or hold their hands anymore like you used to do when you were kids. I even got to a point where I would watch women porn and try to masturbate just to see if I was attracted to it or not like that’s how bad the thoughts got. It felt like an evil voice was in my head trying to convince me and sweet talk me to do and enjoy those disgusting things even when my body didn’t want to. I eventually had confided in my bf about it because he was also a victim of sa and so he helped me through it and I stopped doing it but then and my bf (now ex) broke up a couple days ago and now ive been dealing with this alone which feels like the hardest part for me. So I’ve texted my bff a lot to catch up because I’ve been distant dealing with this and I was just checking my phone awaiting for her responses to my texts because she tends to type slow and usually I never think anything of it because I used to check my phone all the time when I would await my boyfriends reply or simply just a text from him and so now im having thoughts like “why am I awaiting her texts” “do I like my friend?” Its just so many obsessive thoughts and so much overthinking that I am getting tired of because It’s been going on for months so I know this is a lot but please if anyone can please help me I beg, it would be such a great help appreciated bc this has became a really big impact on my life and not in a good way lol. Thank you !!
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