it is easy to get lost in the envy of people who aren't suffers of ocd. i have lost myself in said envy plenty of times. i think what's important is that our experience of life as people who struggle with ocd may be harder than some, but it's an experience nevertheless, it needs to be cherrished and appreciated as much as your ocd brings you down. you're all fighters, and i'm proud of everyone who is still here in the year 2022. much love -<3

I have alot of envy towards normal ppl I have ever since I started haveing ocd I have alot of rituals and rules that I’ve been doing for 15 years my ocd tells me don’t do this and don’t do that if you do this you gotta do it this way so little things are hard to do so when I go out I see ppl wit there hair done and makeup done and I can’t do those things so easily cause showering has it’s own ritual washing my hair does to I have to put my hair products in my hair a certain way brush and blow dry and put my hair up only in a bun I can’t do any other hair style and I can only straighten it if I wear it down I have to straighten it to wear it down I can’t just leave my hair down natural when I first got ocd I was young makeup and hairstyles weren’t really an issue cause I was a kid so I used concealer and foundation and just straightened my hair I was haveing to try so hard to just do that everyday that’s all I ever did now that I’m older I just created a habit of only wearing that makeup and doing those hairstyles cause it’s all I’ve ever been able to do cause doing the simplest of things is harder for me and when I watch ppl on tiktok do there makeup sitting werever infront of there phones all kinds of makeup up products just layed out everywere touching everything they just pick up watever put it on whichever way and move on but my stuff can’t touch it needs a clean place to set I’d have to wash my hands in between touching stuff I couldn’t touch my contaminated phone while applying makeup either and I have to do almost everything in an order and symmetry kind of way like always starting wit a certain eye then doing it completely then moveing to the next eye I couldn’t just do a different eye each time I couldn’t do one eye then the other then go back to the first eye everything’s done in a certain order it makes me so mad watching normal ppl do stuff I want to just be late for work and take a quick shower put dry shampoo in mt hair and throw some clothes on but I can’t cause all those things have a ritual it’s gotta be done a certain way and mt dressing ritual takes awhile I also have to wash mt hands prior to doing anything hygienic wise it just is no way to live.