- Username
- Reptile
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Here's what I believe. We are all sexual beings. God made us that way. Sexuality runs on a spectrum. It isn't black and white. I'm a female and I've been turned on by watching the girl do sexual things in straight porn. It is the content that turns me on. Does that make me bi? I don't think so. I don't have to identify as bi if I don't feel it describes me. This has helped me so much with my HOCD.
Yes I do. I get all kinds of thoughts and feelings. It's a part of being human.
It doesn't mean anything even if you've had thoughts before HOCD. We are sexual beings.
I've used Google as a compulsion, and I've looked up articles on this. And a few people said if you masturbate and have these thoughts that means your gay. And I can't stop worrying about that now
Yeah I think a big problem with HOCD is that tired old trope of “does that make me gay”...like it’s a magic button that gets pressed...you can literally fuck a guy and not be gay, like I have friends who’ve kissed men, realized that it wasn’t bad but they slightly prefer women so they don’t identify as gay...like intrusive thoughts about dudes when you masterbate doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gay but it doesn’t necessarily mean anything...you can be a straight guy who kind of wants to blow a dude for some weird reason...sexuality is a weird crazy spectrum, don’t let it bother you, the worst case scenario here isn’t really that bad
Anyone else read about "groinal response" and "arousal non-concordance"? Basically anyone can feel a slight "twinge" of arousal at a random time, but for people with OCD, they immediately latch onto it and think it MEANS something about them. This is how many cases of HOCD, POCD, BOCD, etc begin, I'd imagine. I can have felt something one time 3 years ago and nothing since then, but still be worried it "means" something about me. Or, sometimes that first incident causes repeated intrusive thoughts every time you come in contact with that thing, so it become a self fulfilling prophesy. I can be doing fine for weeks and then suddenly start worrying about one of these again. Anyone else have any experiences similar?
Ok I have a question for y’all. After you have a good moment with a guy, like when you think about him and want to be with him and it feels good, does anyone get the intrusive thought “what if I’m romantically attracted to men but sexually attracted to women?” Because that just came up for me and it is not fun and very worrying. Because I have been aroused by lesbian porn (I did this before my HOCD intrusive thoughts started) and now I’m worried because I was aroused by that I can only be sexually attracted to women ?
Can anyone relate to having HOCD thlughts (or any form of sexual orientation OCD) and getting aroused by them? I don't mean a groinal response (tingles, twinges, etc.) or arousal-non concordance (when you're groing get's aroused but your mind doesn't), or confusing stress with arousal... I literally mean getting aroused (both mentally and physiologically) by unwanted thoughts in repeated occasions (frequently) when you test yourself? Basically like if it was a sexual fantasy, with the exception that it's a torture that you have found through compulsions. I never wanted to think any of this and I still hate and wouldn't do any of the content of my thoughts. But this happens to me and makes me feel SOOOOO in denial and anxious even though I've never had sex, interest, attraction or desires for a man (or a transexual, which is my other HOCD topic).
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