- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Here's what I believe. We are all sexual beings. God made us that way. Sexuality runs on a spectrum. It isn't black and white. I'm a female and I've been turned on by watching the girl do sexual things in straight porn. It is the content that turns me on. Does that make me bi? I don't think so. I don't have to identify as bi if I don't feel it describes me. This has helped me so much with my HOCD.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes I do. I get all kinds of thoughts and feelings. It's a part of being human.
- Date posted
- 6y
It doesn't mean anything even if you've had thoughts before HOCD. We are sexual beings.
- Date posted
- 6y
I've used Google as a compulsion, and I've looked up articles on this. And a few people said if you masturbate and have these thoughts that means your gay. And I can't stop worrying about that now
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah I think a big problem with HOCD is that tired old trope of “does that make me gay”...like it’s a magic button that gets pressed...you can literally fuck a guy and not be gay, like I have friends who’ve kissed men, realized that it wasn’t bad but they slightly prefer women so they don’t identify as gay...like intrusive thoughts about dudes when you masterbate doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gay but it doesn’t necessarily mean anything...you can be a straight guy who kind of wants to blow a dude for some weird reason...sexuality is a weird crazy spectrum, don’t let it bother you, the worst case scenario here isn’t really that bad
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I was having intimacy. Watching p0rn. And during climax i got intrusive thoughts a d anxious. I hate when this happens. As a compulsion whenever i get intrusive ocd thoughts i usually think of my wife or therapist (whose a man) and say their name. For my wife its because shes the love of my life. My comfort. And during intimacy of course to arouse over her. When i think of my therapist its not anything sexual its just like a comforting thought since hes the one that is helping me thru ocd. But now ocd is saying why did i think lf him during climax. And in my head i heard my voicr saying his name but this was my way of distracting myself from the intrusive thoughts. It wasnt to arouse myself over him it was tk distract myself and it wasnt a compulsion. Ocd tries associating it with my sexual experience and its making me feel very guilty and anxious. Then i worry was i saying his name. I did in my head but it wasnt again a compulsion tk distract from ocd. Then that made me anxious so i said my wifes name and thougjt kf her. I just had intrusive thought so i panicked and out of compulsive habit i usual say thr name of my wifr and therapist
- Date posted
- 15w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
- Date posted
- 16d
Hey everyone I’ve been doing good lately. I have an ocd therapist and I’m working on myself. Haven’t been doing as many compulsions or checks The last couple days I feel like I lost physical attraction to my wife and my mind says it’s because I’m gay. At this point I’ve been going back and forth on this for years so I’m more accepting but it still freaks me out. Then I noticed a coworker who is define as an attractive guy and thought about what it be like to be gay with him. It didn’t seem horrible but it seemed off somehow. Fast forward I tried gay porn…..again. At first like always it did nothing but I kept like making mental accommodations and trying to physically put myself in the situation. Then all the sudden I ejaculated. Sorry if too graphic. It’s happened before like that but I don’t get why. I feel horrible after it happens too. Anyway I tried straight porn to balance it out and it took forever. Maybe I just need to accept I am gay or not totally straight. I notice attractive guys and girls but I dream about my wife/girls, feel more comfortable thinking about a heterosexual relationship and can’t like get aroused to guys outside of porn. Can anyone relate? What does this mean? I might be seeking reassurance but need help
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