- Username
- Reptile
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Here's what I believe. We are all sexual beings. God made us that way. Sexuality runs on a spectrum. It isn't black and white. I'm a female and I've been turned on by watching the girl do sexual things in straight porn. It is the content that turns me on. Does that make me bi? I don't think so. I don't have to identify as bi if I don't feel it describes me. This has helped me so much with my HOCD.
Yes I do. I get all kinds of thoughts and feelings. It's a part of being human.
It doesn't mean anything even if you've had thoughts before HOCD. We are sexual beings.
I've used Google as a compulsion, and I've looked up articles on this. And a few people said if you masturbate and have these thoughts that means your gay. And I can't stop worrying about that now
Yeah I think a big problem with HOCD is that tired old trope of “does that make me gay”...like it’s a magic button that gets pressed...you can literally fuck a guy and not be gay, like I have friends who’ve kissed men, realized that it wasn’t bad but they slightly prefer women so they don’t identify as gay...like intrusive thoughts about dudes when you masterbate doesn’t necessarily mean you’re gay but it doesn’t necessarily mean anything...you can be a straight guy who kind of wants to blow a dude for some weird reason...sexuality is a weird crazy spectrum, don’t let it bother you, the worst case scenario here isn’t really that bad
Can anyone relate to having HOCD thlughts (or any form of sexual orientation OCD) and getting aroused by them? I don't mean a groinal response (tingles, twinges, etc.) or arousal-non concordance (when you're groing get's aroused but your mind doesn't), or confusing stress with arousal... I literally mean getting aroused (both mentally and physiologically) by unwanted thoughts in repeated occasions (frequently) when you test yourself? Basically like if it was a sexual fantasy, with the exception that it's a torture that you have found through compulsions. I never wanted to think any of this and I still hate and wouldn't do any of the content of my thoughts. But this happens to me and makes me feel SOOOOO in denial and anxious even though I've never had sex, interest, attraction or desires for a man (or a transexual, which is my other HOCD topic).
For people with sexual intrusive thoughts (soocd or pocd) do you get triggered thinking about how there are people who might not want to be that sexuality at first or be in denial about it and eventually accept who they are?
I was focused on a vid of women my age and above doing explicit things… I kept getting intrusive thoughts that I didn’t notice… then I started getting a physical groinal response… and by the time that happened I had noticed the intrusive thoughts… my HOCD is saying I’m in denial because of this… when I don’t ever want to ever be homosexual or bisexual at all…
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