Ugh so I had a bit of a melt down in public today. This girl that my OCD has labelled as “contaminated” came up to me out of nowhere and hugged me. I immediately imploded into this spiral of intrusive thoughts and must have appeared so rude because I just had to flee the whole situation. I hate it because the girl is one of my friends and she doesn’t deserve to be avoided like my mind makes me. Anyone do things like this? I hate having to avoid contact with other people. d a i s y

contamination ocd has really been messing with me the last couple of days. usually i only struggle when i can connect something to possibly throwing up, but this time it doesn’t matter. so earlier, i took a shower and i also use a wash cloth to wash my body. after i showered i cleaned up my dirty clothes and towels. then when i came back to grab my phone, there was a soap speck on my phone so without thinking i just wiped it on the back of my crewneck i was wearing. well that then spiraled into me thinking what if the soap was from my dirty wash cloth. i know most of you are probably thinking it’s clean since you use soap to clean ur body. well i clean every inch of my body, including my bottom so that’s where my anxiety is gravitating towards. this sounds so ridiculous saying it out loud, but i just have so much anxiety over it. i tried my hardest not to change but i did. at first i just changed my crewneck, but then i had to change my shorts cause my crewneck touches my shorts. but then i changed my shorts. and now i feel like my shirt is contaminated cause i was wearing it with my other shorts before changing. moral of the story, i just have so much anxiety over it and i feel like i shouldn’t because it’s really not a big deal. and i don’t want to change again because that seems ridiculous to me. plus now i’m connecting the contamination to my bed since i was laying on my bed before i changed. i hate life, this sucks.

So I recently met this girl and honestly she is amazing. She’s beautiful and her personality is perfect. She lives only 15 min away from me and I feel blessed to have a chance to get to know her, we both feel the same. But here comes OCD to ruin it. My OCD has latched onto a friend of mine. He’s a pretty close friend and we talk often. He’s never really one to let out a laugh so I always like to hear him laugh and just be able to have a good time. Partially it’s because I just don’t want to think I’m annoying and unfunny, I’m pretty self concious about myself. OCD is turning this into some sort of scary what if I like him question. I don’t have romantic feelings for my friend and I don’t actually want to be with a man. I am a straight male and getting to know this girl has been a blessing. OCD makes me feel in denial and as if I’m lying to myself. I hate this. It feels awful, when I haven’t felt this way about a girl in a long time

For the past several years of my life I’ve always overly washed my hands. It’s never been as bad as it has been the last few months. EVERYTHING.. and I mean everything is dirty to me. I can barely go out into public and when I do I immediately have to shower. I use mouthwash because I feel my mouth has so many germs, I wash my hands, I sanitize my belongings… and there’s a routine to it so that contamination doesn’t spread. I can barely do a lot of normal household tasks because I feel that a lot of things are contaminated. It’s even hard to spend time with my dogs. I need help. There’s so many embarrassing aspects of what I do, but to me there is logic behind it. It has caused so many fights with my husband, yet he is still as supportive as he can be, but I push so far sometimes. Any suggestions or help, things I can try?