This isn’t OCD related I just need to rant for a moment because I’m frustrated and need to talk about it. I’ve wanted to get my nose pierced for the longest time. Just a little stud (even though I would have to start with a ring but that’s fine) nothing too major or crazy. I told my friend and she said she would go get it done with me. I was excited and I know from past conversations with my mom and grandma that they don’t like that stuff and don’t think I should ever get one. Well today I decided I wanted to do it for myself and not worry about what other people think but I’m also that kind of person who doesn’t like to disappoint people and I’ve been setback so many times when my mom doesn’t support me with things. So when I told her about getting the piercing, she looked away with an attitude and had a disgusted look on her face and said “it’s your nose” so I just left the room. When I told her a while back I wanted to go back to college (because I quit) she was acting like I shouldn’t go. But I wanted to do it for myself. Whenever I mention moving out, she gives me a guilt trip or makes me feel bad or guilt if I left. My grandma is the same way. I mentioned to my grandma once just joking that I might get another tattoo and she said to “wait until I’m gone first” but yet my brother had tattoos. My mom was supportive of my tattoo that’s permanent but not a freaking nose piercing?! How does that even make sense? I get tattoos are easy to cover but still she was fine with me getting a tattoo. I wanted to play violin when I was a kid and she literally yelled at me saying it was a waste of money because I would give it up, jokes on her I played it for 9 years and she would always be on her phone during my concerts and would never encourage me or say things like good job or good concert like everyone else would. It’s not right to me. I get it I’m now 22 almost 23 years old and I can do things if I want to but it seems like whenever I try to do anything for myself, I get discouraged because I don’t want them to be upset with me or judge me like I have been my entire life. She doesn’t support anything I do. She makes me feel so small sometimes. I love my mom but it just doesn’t seem right to me. I so badly wish I could move out. And get this she wouldn’t let me move out but when I mentioned going across the country to California to visit a friend she said “you’re an adult you can do what you want”. But I can’t get a freaking piercing without it being a problem?! I’m trying to gain confidence and love myself and do things to benefit me but I can’t do that because I keep getting discouraged. I’m over it…