- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah I get wanting to be alone. What’s worse is that while the ocd made that worse that was already a part of my nature before it hit me
- Date posted
- 3y
Same! I’m very very much of an introvert
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 I’m not actually a straight up introvert. I’ve become more so as I’ve gotten older but when I was younger I was more extroverted. Glad not anymore
- Date posted
- 3y
This happens to me to
- Date posted
- 3y
Do you struggle with libido and worrying if you really love your boyfriend? I struggle with this with my husband he’s very understand and knows about my ocd. He can clearly tell it’s not real but to me it feels so real. I’m not in the mood for sex even when I’m not having thoughts and this feeds the fear of oh no maybe I’m just attracted to masc women and would be turned on with them. But I really have no desire to be with them but my mind is overwhelming me
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes, since I’ve been on medication it’s gotten better though. Remember that it makes sense that your sex drive is low. You’re in a constant state of OCD spiral. It’s on and off for me. Sometimes sex is really triggering due to my thoughts but other times I want to have it. Medicine is really helpful.
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 And you said your biggest trigger is masc women too? How long have you dealt with hocd specifically I have dealt with once in middle school just from someone calling me gay and then it started again about 6 years ago and has persisted this long. And so are you saying that even though I don’t have thoughts before sex and still have low sex drive it’s because I still am in a state of ocd so I think about it anyways because sometimes when he tries to have sex I push away because I’m worried it’s going to bring on thoughts
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tan??? I’m not a professional so I can’t help with that. My triggers rotate. Sometimes it’s girls in general, sometimes it’s just masc women, sometimes it’s any female species, and sometimes it’s other things. I’ve had thoughts since I was 15 about this, but they never caused distress, I just kind of accepted them as true, and figured they were true because I was thinking them. But that’s not the case. Until about a few months ago, after turning 18, I realized that women isn’t something that I want. And the SOOCD really struck, and got really bad, and is still really difficult. I deal with SOOCD alongside Real Event OCD.
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 So at one point you accepted that you were gay?
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 I’m sorry I’m just a little triggered
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tan??? When I was younger I thought I was bi because I’ve always looked up to women, and have always watched lesbian p*rn so I was like okay I guess? But now, I know that I am not into women like that, it doesn’t matter if I think they are pretty, or if I watch the specific type of p*rn, I don’t ever want to date a woman or marry one, and when I was younger, I didn’t understand that’s what being bi meant. It’s really triggering for me to talk about because of Real Event OCD, because at one point I thought i was so my ocd says it “has to mean these thoughts are true” when that really isn’t the case. It’s uncomfortable for me to talk about because I get scared that people will think I’m lying about my ocd, when I’m not. It’s very hard, and debilitating. And confusing.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tan??? I am too, I’m sorry that you are too. It’s just ocd playing tricks on us
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tan??? After growing up, turning 18, and becoming an adult I’ve realized mistakes I’ve made in the past, and things that I thought were true, weren’t. It’s all about growing up. So real event ocd really latches itself onto that and worsens the soocd. It’s super difficult. I’m sorry to trigger tou
- Date posted
- 3y
@linds💕 Okay I understand! I just hate these thoughts and it’s taking a tole on the time I want to spend with my husband because I’m too busy crying about hocd. The masculine women are the only thing making me believe I’m gay
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tan??? I get that, it always changes for me. And of course, we will all experience our soocd differently, because we are different people, with different experiences. I have a boyfriend, and it’s difficult for me to spend time with him too because of these thoughts constantly bombarding every single thing I do. I know this is difficult, I understand your struggle. It makes me feel so defeated sometimes. But you’re definitely not alone
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
My mom will sit and listen to me for quite a while, but she interrupts a lot and gets angry/upset. While I appreciate her passion, it's often stressful. Every time I come to her, if I even *mention* OCD, she gets frustrated and says, "Everyone deals with these issues, you know. It doesn't mean it's OCD." And I repeat, "I'm not saying my issues are unique — I'm saying the way I respond to them is a problem." But she just shakes her head and says, "Okay, I need to get back to my day." Full context, I'm an adult, and I live with my boyfriend, but I'm staying at my mom's for the next month. After living away from home for years, I went back to living with her during the pandemic, and I only recently left to live with him. Honestly, I think living with her for so long in my adulthood really messed with me and made me feel like a teenager all over again. I feel like my mental growth is stunted, and that's part of why my OCD is so bad lately. Not blaming, just noticing. She doesn't seem to understand how relieving the OCD diagnosis has been for me, because it explains so so so many things I've struggled with for years, and it's exciting to have more resources that can help me. But I think she sees it as me finding an excuse to *not* work on myself, which is just untrue. I'm not going to let OCD hold me back or use it as an excuse, but I'm also not going to pretend it's not a problem when I know it is — I was even diagnosed through NOCD. The whole point being to fix it, not use it as a crutch. When I have an issue, it's unbearable. Any issue, big or small, feels just the same. I feel a sinking feeling, my mind races, my heart beats out of my chest. I end up running to my support systems, crying, ruminating for days on end. Then, months later, the same exact issue can feel like nothing anymore, because it's no longer an obsession. I'm sure everyone deals with issues in a similar way, but I *know* there is something specific and debilitating going on with me. This is reassurance seeking, but in the face of being told I'm making a big deal out of nothing, can someone diagnosed with OCD tell me if they relate to the specific intensity of these feelings??
- Date posted
- 14w
Sometimes I feel like nobody really gets me. Nobody knows what’s going on in my head. I try to explain in vivid detail, but my ocd immediately reads the other persons face and registers that they don’t get it. It’s a very isolating experience. Anyone else have something like this?
- Date posted
- 9w
This is going to sound crazy but I guess I am. For over a year now I’ve suffered from ocd. And I always thought ocd was just I turned the door the wrong way but it’s so much more. I feel as if I’ll never get better. I’m in a relationship, for 8 months now with the most encouraging and supportive boyfriend ever. I tell him all of my thoughts and he understands and accepts because he understands it’s not thoughts I mean to have. I feel so awful being the way I am and being with him. I feel like I can’t be happy because it’s always something going on with me. He has a bigger family all boys, and everyone I hangout with my boyfriend and his brothers I get uncomfortable and weird and convince myself I have feelings for them or I want them. It makes me so disgusted and physically ill every time. The thoughts never go away and it’s not even about them it’s tons of things. I cry constantly because I can’t get the thoughts to go away. I can’t hang out with anybody out of fear I’ll have a thought I don’t want. I feel like I’m so alone. A year ago I felt the same way about my dad which I know is absolutely disgusting and I would never have feelings for my own family and dad, bit thoughts pop into my head. I don’t know if it’s because my brain wants a reason and answer as to why I think those things so I tell myself I like them, but I can’t shake it. I’m trying medicines and hopefully getting into therapy soon. I just don’t know if it ever is going to get better. Some days are better than others and every time I have a bad thought I get heat flashes and and my stomach hurts and I get anxiety and I just want it all to go away. I hate it so much and I feel as if I’ll never be normal again and never be able to live my life freely. I have to constantly worry about what my brain might come up with. These are not thoughts I want to have but somehow my brain has them and I feel so disgusted and I need help so badly. I never know what to do and i feel like an awful human being. I convince myself these things are try when I know they aren’t deep down. I’m losing my charachter and I’m losing myself and the person I know I am which would never have thoughts like these. I want it all to go away. Please tell me it gets better. I don’t recognize myself anymore.
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