My boyfriend knows how deeply I struggle with OCD. But yesterday I was hanging out with him and I told him how I feel really overwhelmed because I’m hanging out with him and I can’t be alone with my thoughts to make myself “feel right.” And he turned to me and said “wow, that sounds really hard, I’m sorry that you are going through that” I felt so heard. I thanked him. Idk if anyone else also has that problem but I feel like when I’m around people or in public and I’m having all these intrusive thoughts my OCD brain tells me to go be alone so I can compulsively make myself feel better. It causes me to be very overwhelmed to where my head hurts. I can’t explain the feeling.

Same! I’m very very much of an introvert

@linds💕 I’m not actually a straight up introvert. I’ve become more so as I’ve gotten older but when I was younger I was more extroverted. Glad not anymore

Yes, since I’ve been on medication it’s gotten better though. Remember that it makes sense that your sex drive is low. You’re in a constant state of OCD spiral. It’s on and off for me. Sometimes sex is really triggering due to my thoughts but other times I want to have it. Medicine is really helpful.

@linds💕 And you said your biggest trigger is masc women too? How long have you dealt with hocd specifically I have dealt with once in middle school just from someone calling me gay and then it started again about 6 years ago and has persisted this long. And so are you saying that even though I don’t have thoughts before sex and still have low sex drive it’s because I still am in a state of ocd so I think about it anyways because sometimes when he tries to have sex I push away because I’m worried it’s going to bring on thoughts

@Tan??? I’m not a professional so I can’t help with that. My triggers rotate. Sometimes it’s girls in general, sometimes it’s just masc women, sometimes it’s any female species, and sometimes it’s other things. I’ve had thoughts since I was 15 about this, but they never caused distress, I just kind of accepted them as true, and figured they were true because I was thinking them. But that’s not the case. Until about a few months ago, after turning 18, I realized that women isn’t something that I want. And the SOOCD really struck, and got really bad, and is still really difficult. I deal with SOOCD alongside Real Event OCD.

@linds💕 So at one point you accepted that you were gay?

@linds💕 I’m sorry I’m just a little triggered

@Tan??? When I was younger I thought I was bi because I’ve always looked up to women, and have always watched lesbian p*rn so I was like okay I guess? But now, I know that I am not into women like that, it doesn’t matter if I think they are pretty, or if I watch the specific type of p*rn, I don’t ever want to date a woman or marry one, and when I was younger, I didn’t understand that’s what being bi meant. It’s really triggering for me to talk about because of Real Event OCD, because at one point I thought i was so my ocd says it “has to mean these thoughts are true” when that really isn’t the case. It’s uncomfortable for me to talk about because I get scared that people will think I’m lying about my ocd, when I’m not. It’s very hard, and debilitating. And confusing.

@Tan??? I am too, I’m sorry that you are too. It’s just ocd playing tricks on us

@Tan??? After growing up, turning 18, and becoming an adult I’ve realized mistakes I’ve made in the past, and things that I thought were true, weren’t. It’s all about growing up. So real event ocd really latches itself onto that and worsens the soocd. It’s super difficult. I’m sorry to trigger tou

@linds💕 Okay I understand! I just hate these thoughts and it’s taking a tole on the time I want to spend with my husband because I’m too busy crying about hocd. The masculine women are the only thing making me believe I’m gay

@Tan??? I get that, it always changes for me. And of course, we will all experience our soocd differently, because we are different people, with different experiences. I have a boyfriend, and it’s difficult for me to spend time with him too because of these thoughts constantly bombarding every single thing I do. I know this is difficult, I understand your struggle. It makes me feel so defeated sometimes. But you’re definitely not alone