OCD is ://
- Date posted
- 3y
KeyboardCatKeyboardCat
- Date posted
- 3y
OCD attacks what you love. Don't let it take something you love from you! Here's what I think my therapist would recommend: type a slur. Type a list-- every offensive, awful thing you can think of. Then sit there and look at it until the excruciating anxiety shifts toward boredom (unbelievably, it will). Then you can erase what you wrote. Nobody else will be harmed by it. It will feel awful for you, at first, but it's better than losing your writing. If that sounds like way too much, you can also just try sitting with the IDEA of it. "I could write something hateful. I'd feel really bad about it. That's true, OCD." Same process: sit with the fear. Ask what it's about (are you afraid of adding to someone else's stress? Being shamed? Being secretly a bad person?). And again, just "sit in it" until you get bored. It's an awful experience, but it really, truly does help.
OCD is ://OCD is ://
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you! The first does sound like too much, too scary, but the second suggestion sounds helpful :) I'll try!
KeyboardCatKeyboardCat
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCD is the bane of my existence Good job! You got this. Keep on writing :)
KeyboardCatKeyboardCat
- Date posted
- 3y
@helloyes555 Hey :) OCD latches on to what you're scared of. This might be a bit intense for you to read (and may be an exposure on its own): TW for tocd below. I have several friends who are trans, and I've never been very "good" at being a woman, so I wondered if I might be trans. To me it wasn't a scary thought, because all my friends are happier post-transition. I also never thought I'd do it on accident, because I saw how much work they had to do to get gender affirming treatment. I don't know anywhere in the world where they let you transition without delays, expense and paperwork. So, because I wasn't scared of the answer, I thought about it a bit and decided I wasn't trans, and my OCD left the question alone. For you, I'm guessing this fear goes to something deeper. Are you afraid of being socially rejected? Are you afraid of losing the things you like about being a man? Are you afraid of how you don't know what choices your future self might make? Are you just afraid your brain won't shut up about this and keep bugging you forever? I think an appropriate exposure is going to depend on what that fear is. Picture the worst happening. Admit that, wildly unlikely as it is, you COULD mistakenly decide you want to transition, and wake up ten years from now and decide it's a mistake. Imagine what that would be like. Feel it. Do that until the anxiety peaks (it will) and then you can move to the next part. Then, ask yourself if someone ELSE would find this scenario likely. Ask yourself what barriers exist between you and transitioning (they're a lot). Ask yourself if you've tried to initiate a transition before (actually tried, like asking a doctor about it, budgeting for it, finding out what your insurance will cover...) I'm not a therapist, btw. Just trying to channel what I think mine might suggest.
KeyboardCatKeyboardCat
- Date posted
- 3y
@helloyes555 Good luck!
compulsion5000compulsion5000
- Date posted
- 3y
There's a Monty Python song where they say every slur they can think of...
shira_guishira_gui
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey. I don’t have this type of ocd, but I just want to say if you do something accidentally, it’s not your fault. And plus, it’s just writing and you can easily delete it :)
kels89kels89
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I have had similar obsessions. Back when I was in grad school I had these thoughts when writing my thesis. Over the years and recently I have had thoughts like “what if I just yelled a curse word or said something offensive to someone?” You’re not alone in this. I hope you keep writing if it’s something you love! If you have a therapist this is definitely something you can work on with them.
Related posts
Jabre7
- Date posted
- 24w
Anyone else have a problem with this?
I can be way too hard on myself and beat myself up over the smallest slip up in regards to OCD. Sometimes it can feel like I'm gaslighting myself on what was "so blatantly and obviously a moral atrocity in thought and intent", when 95% of the time I'm not even sure what my own intent with dealing with these thoughts is or why I do what I do. It makes me feel like some shameless beast for "daring to even entertain the thought of something so VILE!!!" When I just get so confused and scared on moral issues, like my mind is pulled down a rabbit hole I can't escape until the tricks are done on me and it's too late, i've accepted such ideas I hate until that hate and trying to not give in convince me "it might not be that bad". It feels like anything, even the most mundane things can trigger this. This cycle happens mainly because I feel like there's "no way to escape committing more 'attrocities' in thought or compulsion anyway"...and these cycles become the basis for more of these incidents. there a way to stop this? There have been multiple times where I called myself the R word, and even knowing it's a slur I still called myself that because "I'm nothing if not deserving of such scorn". Any attempt to stop the madness makes it worse and it's like all this I talked about is so convincing I dare not question it until after the fact. Please help.
TrustGod24
- Date posted
- 22w
ERP
I’m thinking about doing erp but my ocd is so severe the thought of accepting my fears happening to me makes me sick to my stomach. I also believe in the power of my words and saying I accept this Bad thing will attract it into my life. I’m not sure what I should do🥲
💗Snoopy🌌
- Date posted
- 21w
Scared I acted on my thoughts while out of it
I woke up disassociating really bad ,I was super tired and if you read my prev post I've been having problems w depersonalization after a bad thc trip the other night. Im so so so scared I just said a slur or whispered it to myself because I cant properly remember things rn. I remember getting the thought and im scared i whispered it to myself and I cant tell if it happened or not bc waking up things feel rly blurry . It feels really real. I would never want to say such a word and im scared i did bc I was so out of it. I dont remember if i just had the thought or acted on it
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond