So I LOVE writing but I'm terrified of accidentally typing out something bad, like a slur. It almost just happened and it scared me to death. I've rarely been so scared as this type of OCD makes me. And I want to stop writing because of the chance of typing something wrong but I love writing so much. It brings me so much comfort otherwise. It feels like daydreaming but better and it usually distracts me from my ruminating... but now it scares me and I hate that so much

Thank you! The first does sound like too much, too scary, but the second suggestion sounds helpful :) I'll try!

@OCD is the bane of my existence Good job! You got this. Keep on writing :)

@helloyes555 Hey :) OCD latches on to what you're scared of. This might be a bit intense for you to read (and may be an exposure on its own): TW for tocd below. I have several friends who are trans, and I've never been very "good" at being a woman, so I wondered if I might be trans. To me it wasn't a scary thought, because all my friends are happier post-transition. I also never thought I'd do it on accident, because I saw how much work they had to do to get gender affirming treatment. I don't know anywhere in the world where they let you transition without delays, expense and paperwork. So, because I wasn't scared of the answer, I thought about it a bit and decided I wasn't trans, and my OCD left the question alone. For you, I'm guessing this fear goes to something deeper. Are you afraid of being socially rejected? Are you afraid of losing the things you like about being a man? Are you afraid of how you don't know what choices your future self might make? Are you just afraid your brain won't shut up about this and keep bugging you forever? I think an appropriate exposure is going to depend on what that fear is. Picture the worst happening. Admit that, wildly unlikely as it is, you COULD mistakenly decide you want to transition, and wake up ten years from now and decide it's a mistake. Imagine what that would be like. Feel it. Do that until the anxiety peaks (it will) and then you can move to the next part. Then, ask yourself if someone ELSE would find this scenario likely. Ask yourself what barriers exist between you and transitioning (they're a lot). Ask yourself if you've tried to initiate a transition before (actually tried, like asking a doctor about it, budgeting for it, finding out what your insurance will cover...) I'm not a therapist, btw. Just trying to channel what I think mine might suggest.

@helloyes555 Good luck!