- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
OCD attacks what you love. Don't let it take something you love from you! Here's what I think my therapist would recommend: type a slur. Type a list-- every offensive, awful thing you can think of. Then sit there and look at it until the excruciating anxiety shifts toward boredom (unbelievably, it will). Then you can erase what you wrote. Nobody else will be harmed by it. It will feel awful for you, at first, but it's better than losing your writing. If that sounds like way too much, you can also just try sitting with the IDEA of it. "I could write something hateful. I'd feel really bad about it. That's true, OCD." Same process: sit with the fear. Ask what it's about (are you afraid of adding to someone else's stress? Being shamed? Being secretly a bad person?). And again, just "sit in it" until you get bored. It's an awful experience, but it really, truly does help.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you! The first does sound like too much, too scary, but the second suggestion sounds helpful :) I'll try!
- Date posted
- 3y
@OCD is the bane of my existence Good job! You got this. Keep on writing :)
- Date posted
- 3y
@helloyes555 Hey :) OCD latches on to what you're scared of. This might be a bit intense for you to read (and may be an exposure on its own): TW for tocd below. I have several friends who are trans, and I've never been very "good" at being a woman, so I wondered if I might be trans. To me it wasn't a scary thought, because all my friends are happier post-transition. I also never thought I'd do it on accident, because I saw how much work they had to do to get gender affirming treatment. I don't know anywhere in the world where they let you transition without delays, expense and paperwork. So, because I wasn't scared of the answer, I thought about it a bit and decided I wasn't trans, and my OCD left the question alone. For you, I'm guessing this fear goes to something deeper. Are you afraid of being socially rejected? Are you afraid of losing the things you like about being a man? Are you afraid of how you don't know what choices your future self might make? Are you just afraid your brain won't shut up about this and keep bugging you forever? I think an appropriate exposure is going to depend on what that fear is. Picture the worst happening. Admit that, wildly unlikely as it is, you COULD mistakenly decide you want to transition, and wake up ten years from now and decide it's a mistake. Imagine what that would be like. Feel it. Do that until the anxiety peaks (it will) and then you can move to the next part. Then, ask yourself if someone ELSE would find this scenario likely. Ask yourself what barriers exist between you and transitioning (they're a lot). Ask yourself if you've tried to initiate a transition before (actually tried, like asking a doctor about it, budgeting for it, finding out what your insurance will cover...) I'm not a therapist, btw. Just trying to channel what I think mine might suggest.
- Date posted
- 3y
@helloyes555 Good luck!
- Date posted
- 3y
There's a Monty Python song where they say every slur they can think of...
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey. I don’t have this type of ocd, but I just want to say if you do something accidentally, it’s not your fault. And plus, it’s just writing and you can easily delete it :)
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I have had similar obsessions. Back when I was in grad school I had these thoughts when writing my thesis. Over the years and recently I have had thoughts like “what if I just yelled a curse word or said something offensive to someone?” You’re not alone in this. I hope you keep writing if it’s something you love! If you have a therapist this is definitely something you can work on with them.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Hey so my OCD makes me hate specific numbers and words, like I can’t say some words in case that specific word comes true and something bad happens. I then go and keep saying to myself everything is amazing,everything is amazing and it just tires me out.
- Date posted
- 24w
Hi, I'm writing this hopefully to get some advice and to see if anyone else relates to this. Recently my OCD has revolved around how well I speak and explain things to others and myself. So every time I speak, whether I'm explaining something or responding to someone or something, I'm always editing in my head immediately after. For example, my Roomate missed an appointment and I said to her "oh no, are you still able to get another one while you're here?" and in my head right after I was like, "Oh my gosh that was so wordy, people don't even talk like that, you should have just said 'can you still get one." I feel like there's a grammerly or chatgpt bot in my head always being like "oh, well you could have said it like this and phrased that part in the end rather than in the beggining, yada yada yada. I don't even remember how I used to talk and what a normal way of saying things even is anymore. I feel so dumb and scared to explain anything or even just speak but I also sometimes freeze and avoid questions in my head that I don't feel smart enough to explain even if I think I have an idea. I also edit other people in my head too which is so annoying, because I'm always mentally correcting them, when they really don't need to be corrected. I've always loved giving advice to people too but now I've become so bad at it and I don't even know what I'm saying half the time. I also have to answer every question that pops into my head perfectly and if I don't then I won't be prepared for when/if someone asks me. There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance.
- Perfectionism OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 22w
Hi this is my first time posting on here. I wasn't sure if I should because I want to make sure I'm not seeking reassurance because I heard that makes ocd worse. I don't want to talk about what my ocd problem was, but basically I was really upset about a religious ocd problem that I know isn't true. I'm feeling a lot better about it now, but when it was bad I decided to try and get better on my own. I read about ERP therapy and how you're supposed to make a list of your ocd problems, from least distressing to most. So I wrote them down on two pieces of paper. At first I started with the simple ones, like looking for spiders before leaving the room. I have a tendency to look for spiders before leaving a room but lately I've been trying not to anymore. Then I decided to try and do one of the hard things. It was a religious ocd problem. I decided to start simple, and just write the problem down on a piece of paper. So I went downstairs and got some paper. But then I thought, oh no, my ocd is probably not going to like this. What do I do with the paper once I write it down? If I think what I wrote down is bad and going to upset God and I will go to hell, (even though I know logically it's not), my ocd is probably going to freak out if I throw away the paper. It probably won't calm down unless I erase it. So I just decided to not write it down on a paper, and just type it on my phone instead. So I did, I typed it on my phone. So, even though I didn't write anything down on the paper, now it feels like that peice of paper is bad. I feel like it's connected to the problem I was having, and I was so upset I called my mom crying asking her what to do. Eventually I decided to just put the paper back with the rest of the paper downstairs, but I'm still upset. I feel like I have to throw away all the paper downstairs, the pencil I was going to use to write down the problem, and the eraser I was going to use in case I needed to erase anything. It feels like if I use any of those items I will make God angry and go to hell. I know I shouldn't do this though, so I'm not going to. I don't know what to do with the papers where I wrote down my ocd problems. They are on my desk and I'm too afraid to move them. And if I put them in my desk I'm afraid they will get mixed up with other papers. I guess I can do whatever I want with them. I think I'll put them in a folder or binder and if I make any more ocd papers I can just put them in there. I'm just really confused on how to move forward. Right now, I'm too afraid to use the papers, pencil, or eraser for anything. I feel like I can't write on them, draw on them, or anything. It's even making me feel like I can't make digital art. It's making me feel like I can't do a lot of things. I guess what I have to do is just do whatever I want to, because I know the ocd isn't true and doesn't make sense.
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