- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes. I have retroactive jealousy ocd along with my ocd and just being a jealous person because of low self esteem.
- Date posted
- 3y
I am like this too and have very low self esteem. I have always felt like I’m no one’s first choice and it is now at an all time high because I am fearing that I may be gay. I have always identified as a straight woman and now I’m so terrified that my past jealousies are just a sign of me being gay. I have always gotten jealous when my friends would get boyfriends because I felt like no guys ever wanted me and it has really taken a tol on my self esteem. This is also a huge trigger for my SOOCD because it’s making me feel like my jealousy was actually me wanting to be with my friends, even though I have only ever pursued relationships with men. I don’t want to be a lesbian at all because it completely goes against my values and everything I know about myself, but the fact that I have felt these feelings in the past makes me feel like I must be gay. I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’ve completely lost myself.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes this was the first theme that really got me
- Date posted
- 3y
If you don’t mind me asking, how do you deal with it? I feel nothing like myself anymore because all of the thoughts in my head prove that I’m gay, but that isn’t who I want to be.
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 - Have you tried ERP yet to help with it? I struggle with this theme too. I am starting a book called The ACT workbook for OCD. I also am on Luvox 300 mg and Abilify 10 mg.
- Date posted
- 3y
@ranchdoritos88 I have not tried ERP yet because I am afraid my thoughts will just prove to be true. I almost feel like I’d rather live with this than live with the truth, even though I am completely miserable and in a state of physical pain and panic at all times. I also wish I could start medication because the anxiety is becoming too much to bear but am not sure how to access it.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 14w
I posted about this the other day and a therapist responded that if it has the usual ocd tells, then it’s most likely ocd. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this. They say even if it’s new for you chances are others have had the same or similar ocd experience. So, this is new for me and just like when I get an intrusive thought i’ve recently been getting what I call intrusive emotions. I will feel something like sad or jealous in a situation when in reality I don’t feel that way at all. For example, my ocd targets certain family members and if one of them is watching tv and thinks a woman is pretty i’ll suddenly feel sad or jealous when I don’t actually care or feel that way because that’s my family member and I don’t think about or feel for them in any inappropriate way. Also, sometimes when I have a harm intrusive thought my ocd will say that I want something horrible to happen to my family member and I will feel like I actually want it but that’s not what I want or how I feel at all. Is there anyone who has had this or something similar happen?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 7w
I’m gonna try to make this make sense, and any support or advice would be great. I have a beautiful girlfriend, who I’ve been dating off and on for a year. We were really rocky but got our shit figured out 4 months ago and have been strong since. I truly love this girl more than I’ve loved anyone. And I know based off the sheer amount of ocd that has come up on our relationship, that she means a lot to me. Me and her were in a friend group in 2022 and we never liked each other. However she had a sexual relationship with one of my old friends. Fast forward to now I haven’t talked to him in a long time and I don’t see it as an issue. However… I keep having this vivid flashback to him touching her some kinda way in 2022. I can’t remember exactly what happened or the details but it’s running through my head. I guess this is retroactive jealousy but it’s really almost hurting my feelings. I wish it would stop but I know ocd doesn’t work that way. I just wanna be happy with my girl and not upset at her past experiences
- Date posted
- 10d
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that I’m struggling with right now. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones I’ve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. That’s probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because I’ve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Don’t worry I didn’t “discover” this through ocd, I’ve always known and it’s been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is “what if you are actually a lesbian and don’t know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him on” The thing is, I don’t have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didn’t feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. I’ve always seeked men more actively than women and didn’t feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that I’m in this beautiful relationship I’m terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that I’m actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. I’m not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so I’d be so grateful to know I’m not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
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