Yes. I have retroactive jealousy ocd along with my ocd and just being a jealous person because of low self esteem.
I am like this too and have very low self esteem. I have always felt like I’m no one’s first choice and it is now at an all time high because I am fearing that I may be gay. I have always identified as a straight woman and now I’m so terrified that my past jealousies are just a sign of me being gay. I have always gotten jealous when my friends would get boyfriends because I felt like no guys ever wanted me and it has really taken a tol on my self esteem. This is also a huge trigger for my SOOCD because it’s making me feel like my jealousy was actually me wanting to be with my friends, even though I have only ever pursued relationships with men. I don’t want to be a lesbian at all because it completely goes against my values and everything I know about myself, but the fact that I have felt these feelings in the past makes me feel like I must be gay. I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’ve completely lost myself.
Yes this was the first theme that really got me
If you don’t mind me asking, how do you deal with it? I feel nothing like myself anymore because all of the thoughts in my head prove that I’m gay, but that isn’t who I want to be.
@cf05 - Have you tried ERP yet to help with it? I struggle with this theme too. I am starting a book called The ACT workbook for OCD. I also am on Luvox 300 mg and Abilify 10 mg.
@ranchdoritos88 I have not tried ERP yet because I am afraid my thoughts will just prove to be true. I almost feel like I’d rather live with this than live with the truth, even though I am completely miserable and in a state of physical pain and panic at all times. I also wish I could start medication because the anxiety is becoming too much to bear but am not sure how to access it.