Yeah I think I have
Bad thoughts don't make you s bad person. It's only actions that matter even if the thoughts don't upset you as long as you genuinely have no intention to act on them.
I feel this. I get scared I’m the exception. For me, it’s on and off though. I have Sexual Orientation OCD, I identify as a straight woman, but have intrusive thoughts about being with a woman. I don’t want to be, it doesn’t feel like me, it’s not what I desire. But sometimes I have feelings that it is what I want. I feel like after all this time for fighting for me, that I’m not into women, I sometimes feel like I’m faking it and trying to run from the truth. I get scared I’m the exception. I get scared that I want to be with women. I feel like I’m lying to myself, my boyfriend, and my family. I feel horrible. This disorder is horrible and hard. Sometimes I feel so defeated because I fear that this is real. I feel like when I feel “okay” and I look back on moments I felt “okay” that I’m just a liar. This is so hard. It’s distorted the way I see myself, the way I see my partner, and the way I see my family and life. I’m tired of this. I wish it could all go away. I don’t know if I relate to what you’re saying, but feeling like the exception and like I am my feared thoughts, I understand. I’m confused and I’m scared.
I feel you on this! I’m also a woman who identifies as a straight. I’ve been in therapy since last September and I’m upset that these thoughts are still here. My anxiety has improved a lot but now it’s back 🤦🏻♀️ it’s so annoying and feels like a never ending loop. I feel strongly that we can all get through this. Much love & stay strong 💕
I FELT THIS SO MUCH!!!!
this is currently exactly how i feel and it’s worrying me.
Yep, and the thought of not even having the anxiety or disgust automatically triggers me and makes me start ruminating.
Yep I'm at this stage too, not that much anxiety but then anxiety from not being anxious 😅 my mind keeps saying "well if this was ocd you'd be feeling anxious so you obviously don't have it and really want to do xyz" classic ocd backdoor spike!
This is me rn with my suicidal ocd. It's scaryyyy