- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Yep, and the thought of not even having the anxiety or disgust automatically triggers me and makes me start ruminating.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yup!!
- Date posted
- 3y
I FELT THIS SO MUCH!!!!
- Date posted
- 3y
this is currently exactly how i feel and it’s worrying me.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yep I'm at this stage too, not that much anxiety but then anxiety from not being anxious 😅 my mind keeps saying "well if this was ocd you'd be feeling anxious so you obviously don't have it and really want to do xyz" classic ocd backdoor spike!
- Date posted
- 3y
This is me rn with my suicidal ocd. It's scaryyyy
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah I think I have
- Date posted
- 3y
Bad thoughts don't make you s bad person. It's only actions that matter even if the thoughts don't upset you as long as you genuinely have no intention to act on them.
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel this. I get scared I’m the exception. For me, it’s on and off though. I have Sexual Orientation OCD, I identify as a straight woman, but have intrusive thoughts about being with a woman. I don’t want to be, it doesn’t feel like me, it’s not what I desire. But sometimes I have feelings that it is what I want. I feel like after all this time for fighting for me, that I’m not into women, I sometimes feel like I’m faking it and trying to run from the truth. I get scared I’m the exception. I get scared that I want to be with women. I feel like I’m lying to myself, my boyfriend, and my family. I feel horrible. This disorder is horrible and hard. Sometimes I feel so defeated because I fear that this is real. I feel like when I feel “okay” and I look back on moments I felt “okay” that I’m just a liar. This is so hard. It’s distorted the way I see myself, the way I see my partner, and the way I see my family and life. I’m tired of this. I wish it could all go away. I don’t know if I relate to what you’re saying, but feeling like the exception and like I am my feared thoughts, I understand. I’m confused and I’m scared.
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel you on this! I’m also a woman who identifies as a straight. I’ve been in therapy since last September and I’m upset that these thoughts are still here. My anxiety has improved a lot but now it’s back 🤦🏻♀️ it’s so annoying and feels like a never ending loop. I feel strongly that we can all get through this. Much love & stay strong 💕
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Why am I not anxious? Like at all anymore? Is it because I'm really avoiding and trying not to think of the consequences that come from possibly being a pdfile? Is the only thing that is worrying me about it is the consequences then does it mean that I really am one? But I never masturbated to the thought of a child and actively seeked it. It came as intrusive thoughts while I was doing it yes I've had them when I see kids yes and I question and check a lot if I'm attracted to them and its just confusing me, I know I'll never do anything to hurt a child and I don't even like the idea of becoming a pdfile then why am I not anxious enough about it? The thoughts are just distressing obsessive I feel disgusting and Id say I still do compulsions but I don't know something just doesn't feel right. I don't feel anything and no real attraction to anyone or anything anymore. I just feel so disgusting and I just want to be normal but then again I pretty much did this to myself. It's weird to me I know there isn't a real indication I'm a pdfile and past experiences pretty much prove that and I've always been attracted to older guys so why is this happening now? Why am I getting these thoughts now especially right after I was trying to fix this sexual obsession/tension I had for older guys. Is my brain just leaving one thing to love and be obsessed about and going to the other? I'm really really just confused. Not anxious just distressed confused and uncomfortable. Like I want to throw up but I don't feel intense anxiety in my chest it feels like maybe I haven't processed what's going on properly. I'm genuinely so confused and I don't want to have this stay in my mind. Sometimes I just miss my ex so much because at the time I've felt something I felt so much things even though I had really bad rocd. I just miss loving people again and being alive again. I'm so scared and confused right now can anyone explain to me what is this? I genuinely just want to understand what I'm feeling or thinking because its not making sense to me
- Date posted
- 16w
There are moments when something takes over me, like I have to fight myself (literally restrain myself) from acting on my thoughts, like causing harm to my parents or brother. I get these feelings that feel so real, like they are genuinely my own. There are moments when I feel like I like them, and it makes me question whether this is truly OCD or if it's me. Then I wonder whether this is me lying to myself, because I feel the urge to smile at the thought, or feel like I have some pleasure. I check whether I like them, and then I feel like I do, so I stop immediately. I feel like my old self is gone, and I've become this person, and that it was never OCD. Right now, as I type this, I feel like I'm lying to myself. There are moments when I feel like my brain splits, as if this is my new personality. Or there are moments when I feel like it might feel liberating or freeing if I do it. I genuinely feel like this is not OCD. There are moments when I stop the thought, and I feel like it's out of principle, as if I don't truly want to stop at that thought. I truly can't picture this to be my life now. I never had these thoughts in my life until two and a half months ago. It truly makes me question whether it was OCD. I don't get why. I used to view my family as my world, and now my mind is making me scared and feel like my room is my only safe place from them, from me.
- Date posted
- 9w
Is there something wrong with me if I’m not disgusted by my intrusive thoughts anymore like the disgust feeling has been gone for months now and why are my thoughts feel like they’re literally so close happening inside my brain why can I lowkey physically feel the images of that makes sense,Why do I get adrenaline why do I get a weird tingle my lips sometimes make an awkward like position when I get the thoughts it’s like I’m having a glitch idek which thought is intentional which one is intrusive but there bad thoughts and I don’t want them to be the truth about me but I literally cannot get myself to just feel relaxed even if they’re present like I actually get genuine headaches and feel uneasy for hours after having intrusive thoughts and I hate how it’s always the same kinda thoughts and sensations feelings etc around those thoughts out of nowhere when I’m just chilling they come in before when I had it is be like okay ew weird thought now I’m like what if I actually like this and I’m in denial uGHHH HATE MY BRAIN
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