- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Yep, and the thought of not even having the anxiety or disgust automatically triggers me and makes me start ruminating.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yup!!
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- 3y
I FELT THIS SO MUCH!!!!
- Date posted
- 3y
this is currently exactly how i feel and it’s worrying me.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yep I'm at this stage too, not that much anxiety but then anxiety from not being anxious 😅 my mind keeps saying "well if this was ocd you'd be feeling anxious so you obviously don't have it and really want to do xyz" classic ocd backdoor spike!
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- 3y
This is me rn with my suicidal ocd. It's scaryyyy
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- 3y
Yeah I think I have
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- 3y
Bad thoughts don't make you s bad person. It's only actions that matter even if the thoughts don't upset you as long as you genuinely have no intention to act on them.
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel this. I get scared I’m the exception. For me, it’s on and off though. I have Sexual Orientation OCD, I identify as a straight woman, but have intrusive thoughts about being with a woman. I don’t want to be, it doesn’t feel like me, it’s not what I desire. But sometimes I have feelings that it is what I want. I feel like after all this time for fighting for me, that I’m not into women, I sometimes feel like I’m faking it and trying to run from the truth. I get scared I’m the exception. I get scared that I want to be with women. I feel like I’m lying to myself, my boyfriend, and my family. I feel horrible. This disorder is horrible and hard. Sometimes I feel so defeated because I fear that this is real. I feel like when I feel “okay” and I look back on moments I felt “okay” that I’m just a liar. This is so hard. It’s distorted the way I see myself, the way I see my partner, and the way I see my family and life. I’m tired of this. I wish it could all go away. I don’t know if I relate to what you’re saying, but feeling like the exception and like I am my feared thoughts, I understand. I’m confused and I’m scared.
- Date posted
- 3y
I feel you on this! I’m also a woman who identifies as a straight. I’ve been in therapy since last September and I’m upset that these thoughts are still here. My anxiety has improved a lot but now it’s back 🤦🏻♀️ it’s so annoying and feels like a never ending loop. I feel strongly that we can all get through this. Much love & stay strong 💕
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Lately my OCD has been very horrible, it’s been more convincing than ever to the point where I’m genuinely convinced that I like this stuff, when I get a thought, I’ll hear my intrusive thoughts go “oooh, I like that, I’d do that.” and I just don’t freak out nor feel bad, I just feel like I like it even more, and feel like I would do/act on it and like it, and the feeling is strong and it lingers forever? It genuinely feels like I do, and I’m just lying now, i can’t tell if I make these thoughts worse or anything All I remember mostly just being like confused sometimes when these thoughts happen, but since I’m getting strong emotions that I like it, my brain says that means I did and I’m worried about that being true because I don’t understand nor know It’s like I am resisting to like this stuff now, it’s even tougher now than it was before
- Date posted
- 21w
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
- Date posted
- 14w
Just gonna vent, this never happened to me before during my 20 years alive. Whether it is POCD or not, I have truly lost my sense of self and my innocence. Why of all things did this have to happen. Ive been experiencing more strong groinal responses and mixed feelings of arousal regarding specific thoughts. Its so odd, cause last month none of this happened, it was mainly just anxiety and mental breakdowns. Never did I think I would experience physical sensations as well. Acting on compulsions as well left me feeling absolute confusion, Ive stopped doing that but now I get the urge here and there, and Ive learned to sit with the discomfort. All this leaves me with more questions on whether I will truly get through this or not, or if people will understand my situation. On certain days I feel fine, on other days its sheer terror. I blame myself mainly for this all, It is scary as these images, causing both arousal and terror, only result in me feeling like a shell of my former self
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