i’m really struggling with my compulsions right now. i know i don’t have to do them, but my biggest fear is the anxiety never going away. the compulsions make it stop for a short while, but it always comes back. i’m scared that if i don’t do them, i will never feel calm and relaxed.

I understand completely. My advice would be to slowly decrease the amount you do. Don’t quit cold turkey but instead maybe allow yourself a couple of set times to do the compulsions. Then anything outside that window continue to push on even when you have anxiety. It allows you to slowly break away from the need to constantly check and fight. You got this