i’m really struggling with my compulsions right now. i know i don’t have to do them, but my biggest fear is the anxiety never going away. the compulsions make it stop for a short while, but it always comes back. i’m scared that if i don’t do them, i will never feel calm and relaxed.

I’ve tried living in the uncertainty today & kept myself busy but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m about to lose control & act on my thoughts. I keep feeling like I need to check in to see how I feel & keep my self safe & when I’m near my trigger it feels like I’m being pulled into doing it & feels like I want to but I’m not using compulsions. My thoughts feel like my own & feeling like I’ll be like this forever. Can someone relate or give advice 😩

Bro I'm scared rn, so there was a compulsion I did like 2hrs ago and I didn't do it properly cuz I kept getting a thought saying "something is gonna come in Ur room and kill you or you will have this illness It triggers me to say it but I froze because I kept seeing like a shadow and cuz I was home alone and it's dark so I didn't answer it 😃 and cuz I answered it late saying obviously I don't want to illness I would rather have the other (half of me knows it's not real), and I prayed 4 times as well cuz I didn't do the compulsion properly I tried doing it again logs if times and 1 hour later I tried again but It still didn't feel right, and now the thought is hurting my body a little and I feel shivery, and I have tried doing the compulsion but it's not working. Why can't these thighs just leave me alone and stop saying about illnesses all the time. And idk how I'm gonna get thru the night cuz I can't get the thought out of my head and I won't be able to do anything properly.

i don’t want to do my compulsions. I feel like if I don’t somebody will get hurt, sick or die. It’s a very scary thought to feel like if I don’t do my compulsions it will be my fault even though it isn’t & nor will it happen. I know it’s magical thinking & my thoughts are not true nor will they come true. it’s just im so tired of doing these compulsions. im so tired of feeling like I can stop something bad happening if I don’t step on this or touch this 4 times. it even got me believing that if I do something I want to do & love, something bad will happen. I just want to be able to live & feel like I use to. I hate ocd. how can I calm this down so I can be able to navigate in my own life?