My sister in law who's married to my brother came into my family when they were just dating and I shocked everyone with wedding plans and have an age gap with my now husband. She got so angry and went around talking shit to my family and when I brought it up to her about apologizing for hurting me during whats a happy time in life she said "sorry you feel that way" and she told my sister she would never allow her sister to do what I did. Since that it was always an explanation, I never got the sincere apology I truly wanted to mend things, and hanging out with them felt fake and forced. Almost 4 years later and I still hold this anger it gets to me so much that it's had me explode countless times, my 3 brothers will also not apologize for hurt they caused me and not having my back. I just don't understand why they can't say "I'm sorry" and sincerely mean it, I've expressed the pain it's caused me and how it affects me to not be able to move forward unless that is said. I blew up recently do badly saying there not my family and about dying which I switched my wording to, plus pieces of shits, cunts, bitches etc. I feel extremely bad and tried to say sorry without sounding obsessive about saying it too much cuz now they made fun of me as if I'm too sensitive. I just don't understand if this is me or OCD, I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes and gonna have a serious breakdown. I need help and some oppinions.

I feel ya on this. Recently had a similar situation . Our feelings are put on the sidelines …. Nobody gave a fuck how I felt . And the more I tried to discuss it to clear the bad air the more “ ocd “ I got called . So you know what friend say “ fuck it “ and be thankful your not that rude and put some distance in .

Good luck ! I know your hurting

Everything will be ok. Thank you! 💗

You went through something pretty rough, it sounds like you’re roghtfully feeling hurt. It’s okay to be upset at them and I don’t think you’re overreacting. Maybe they’re lacking empathy, forgot all the things they said & did, or maybe they just don’t want to accept that they did wrong to you. Either way, I’m sorry they did that and your emotions here are natural. You’re not going crazy over nothing. It’s possible you’re hanging on a little too much but something tells me that it’s justified, especially if they were shit-talking something as important as your marriage.

Yes I completely agree with you!!! And you're even being completely humane to say "I'm sorry they did that". It shows you care about my feelings and they just never did that, it was extremely hurtful and I've tried many times to move past it but maybe it's also the ocd that causes me to go back and continue the circle. One moment I feel better about it and the next it eats at me again, and also since my dad was in the hospital they had to be basically forced to visit, so alot of triggers happened again. But I think I just need to move forward and no longer allow them to drain me.

@Sefora I agree it would be best to try to move on. It may certainly be difficult to do that, but if you can then it would definitely help. Best of luck 🥰

Your feelings are absolutely valid. Unfortunately, apologizing is something a lot of people have trouble with. You may never get those apologies. It doesn’t mean you don’t deserve apologies, and it doesn’t invalidate how you feel. Strength and comfort your way. 💪🏼💜

Thank you and I'm starting to understand that more. But it's not easy for me to accept or be around them if they can't recognize wrong doing.

@Sefora I understand you completely. There are people I feel the same way about in my life, and it’s a struggle. Especially with OCD forgive and forget is extra tough. It feels ridiculous to forgive without the other person acknowledging or apologizing, and forgetting isn’t something we can choose to do. If you like dogs, mine sends you a snuggle and says he and I agree with you. 💜

@ARTnotOCD Yes agreed! It's not easy and especially dealing with mental issues, it makes it that more challenging. Love dogs! Send your dogs many hugs for me! 🤗

I do the same thing like I need a sincere apology otherwise ur trust is broken, ok so than they cant even apologize than the trust remains broken

i dont think it's wrong for you to feel like you cant trust them and its extremely hurtful when your own blood goes against you

and makes fun of you ... OCD or not your a human and you deserve respect

They weren't making fun of me it was more of just my sister in law going around telling my whole family crap about my realationship and my brothers not defending me along with one saying I should've gotten approval from my husband to take my hand in marriage as if he's my dad. They've been controlling most of my life and I was so angry that an outsider would also try controlling me. I guess the part they made fun of was that I don't need an apology and don't need to be worshiped and basically am being too sensitive to be hurt or ask for one.

@Sefora That he should've gotten approval from my husband**

you're**

I did this reverse psychology trick where it's not really a trick but I forgave the person in my family and I let it go... and when I saw them instead of acting out of anger (which was always my go too) I said them I love you and hugged them and than they apologized and I got what I wanted when I let it go.

Yes that could be true for some people to work out. But I've allowed them back into my life after all of it and things just felt fake and they still never wanted to just say a true meaningful "I'm sorry that you were hurt about how things happened".

Sometimes letting it go gives you what you want

cause you love your family that's why it hurts so much

so just say I love you and hug them... you will be the bigger person and people will want to apologize

Yes but we made amends and they still never wanted to. In fact my brother said no appologies from here on out. They don't want to use those words, it's as if they erased it from there vocabulary lol

@Sefora Wow! Seriously, any time you want to vent, we’re here, because if someone in my family told me that and I didn’t cut ties, I would need to vent a lot! Also, I taught my doggo to come and help me when I’m struggling, and he’ll send lovins to you whenever needed too. All you have to do is think/say, “I need you,” and know he’s running to you to bring comfort.

@ARTnotOCD Well now talking to my counselor and all I've made the decision to cut ties and doesn't mean I don't love them but my mental health is important and I shouldn't force or be around someone that doesn't care about my hurt, mentally that does alot of damage. Thank you! I bet you're dog is a big fluff of awesome!!

@Sefora I know it might be hard to do that because you love your family, but I’m really glad to hear you’re putting your health above their hurtful words and actions. 💜

@ARTnotOCD Yes it's the right thing to do. And I've never felt better knowing I don't have to hangout or entertain people like them. But like you said I still do love them just not the ego. And thank you very much for giving me great advice. This OCD enviromemt is just what I need. 💪

@Sefora environment*