nicklepickle
- Date posted
- 3y
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi there. I am sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I am currently a first timer over here struggling with TOCD that feels so incredibly real. I can barely even function, I don’t know what to do. It feels as though these thoughts are real and the anxiety accompanying them is because I know they are true and just don’t want to admit it. I am so scared because, as a straight female, I do not ever want to be transgender. How did you manage to find relief from your symptoms and remind yourself that your TOCD thoughts do not define you and your true desires?
nicklepicklenicklepickle
- Date posted
- 3y
i had been dealing with it for 4 months and was panicking every single day. i had read online that the only way to stop ocd thoughts was to just accept that maybe they were real and maybe they weren’t, and there was nothing i could do about it. it was terrifying at first because it felt like i was letting my ocd win, but in the long run it was the best thing i could have done to combat that specific theme
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
@nicklepickle I appreciate that. Unfortunately, it feels like everything is just leading me to this point, even though I desperately do not want to feel this way or live in fear that I am meant to be transgender and will never be able to escape it, even though that is the last thing I want. If I may ask, did you ever get physical sensations about your TOCD thoughts where you like visualized yourself as the other gender or felt like you looked/sounded in that way? These things just started happening to me and I am now convinced with almost certainty that this is real and that it must be what I really want because it feels so much like gender dysphoria rather than ocd.
nicklepicklenicklepickle
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 i did and the amount of panic that i felt when that would happen to me helped in me understanding that i’m not trans because if i was i would like it. i know it feels like you do but i can promise you even though it’s hard that you absolutely do not or you wouldn’t be fighting with yourself so hard over it. i know how awful and uncomfortable and panic inducing tocd can feel, and how it completely takes over your brain and you feel suffocated. it is literally debilitating. all i can do is promise that you will feel better eventually
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
@nicklepickle Thank you. It’s starting to feel as though I like it, even though I think if I did I would not be sick to my stomach over it
nicklepicklenicklepickle
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 that’s exactly what i’m talking about. if you liked it, you wouldn’t feel so awful and stressed all the time
cf05cf05
- Date posted
- 3y
@nicklepickle If you don’t mind me asking, did you feel like people were constantly going to “figure you out”? I’m always on edge but I also have social anxiety so I can’t tell if this is a combination of my ocd + my social anxiety or if the reason that I have both ocd and social anxiety is because I am actually transgender. I would not want to live if I. Was
nicklepicklenicklepickle
- Date posted
- 3y
@cf05 that was not a worry of mine, but i was also so in my head and stressed all the time i wasn’t thinking about the people around me
Pkava56Pkava56
- Date posted
- 3y
If it does come back you can handle it. You beat it once you can beat it again. Stay strong
Related posts
aubreyvm
- Date posted
- 21w
TOCD
This is so extremely difficult, i’ve never experienced having thoughts of being a different gender. i’ve always been comfortable being a girl. i’ve always been a girly girl. this all started a couple months ago and it’s increasingly getting worse. i’ve had times where i didn’t like my body but i always thought i could just go to the gym and fix it, never did i think i wanted to be a man. ever since these thoughts started i hate looking at myself in the mirror, i hate looking at my body, i’m aware of my breasts all day everyday, i can’t look at pictures/ videos of myself. from the moment i wake up to the second i go to sleep i have these thoughts. i’m in a panic EVERYDAY. i don’t want to be trans but my thoughts are convincing me i do. i’ve never bat an eye when someone calls me a girl but now it’s like i’m aware of it which i hate. i hate that i’m having these thoughts & it’s convincing me that i want them & that i have to just come out and change. i want to be able to go back to being comfortable as a girl. this has left me feeling so hopeless and depressed, i can’t help but cry every day. has anyone else felt like their whole world was turned upside down?
shinsset
- Date posted
- 16w
tocd + proof + advice on how to tell people?
I cant do anything anymore without my brain dregdging up proof from my past that I was actually trans and didn't know it, and it all seems so plausible. like I said in my last post its unearthing memories that I didn't even know I have. ik this is just ocd tricking me but I feel like I need to review every moment thoroughly bc I have questioned my gender in the past but always concluded that'd I'd happier as a girl (which is true). everything feels so real and it feels like I am just super in denial. also, how do I tell people about this? I made the mistake of confessing to a teacher on a note and only a couple friends of mine understand the thoughts I get, but I don't tell them everything. however its very hard for me to do basic responsibilities like school work and I always end up overwhelmed, so I'm thinking I may need accomdations. I need to get in touch with my counselor but i'm unsure how to explain all of this to her, being that I don't have a diagnosis....also I feel like I can't talk about this with the majority of my friends because gender ocd is rare to have (increasing my doubts) and, at least school-wise, i'm in very accepting environment for lgbtq and I'm afraid they're just gonna tell me to accept myself. I'm scared of doing erp for this because what if I like it (also cant afford therapy). ive also felt very apprehensive around some of my trans friends and classmates because my brain is going crazy asking "what if you're like them?" and I feel so bad and transphobic for these thoughts. i'm genuinely so tired. one of my closest friends died last year, but my father pointed out that my recent mood has been even worse than it was during that time. i tend to bottle up my emotions a lot, so everyone's just telling me to "let it go" and tell people, but if I do that I feel like i'll end up confessing. i'm so tired and lost.
Dreamydream
- Date posted
- 7w
TOCD
2 nights ago I saw something on my phone and it has now spiraled into me scared of being trans or being gay because i don’t want to be… now i have a huge fear of what if i am gay and am attracted to woman or what if im not comfortable in my body and want to turn into a man. It’s freaking me out - my ocd always makes me question my character! Has anyone experienced this 😩
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