Those days were it all feels very real and you don’t know what to do

Same I get you so much

@graciepops17 It feels like the old me is gone, I don’t know how this could just be OCD. I don’t even recognize who I am.

@cf05 Me either, this pain is so intense. I fear that I won’t ever be happy if I don’t accept these thoughts as true. Even though, the last thing I ever want is these thoughts to be true. I feel this so deeply. I feel so much pain nowadays. It’s hard to look at myself in the mirror, and I used to love looking at myself in the mirror. It’s hard to talk to anyone without breaking down. I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread, and it all feels like too much. I want to be happy with my boyfriend. I love him so very much, and I fear that it’s all a lie. I wish I could have just Harm OCD, or a different one. Even though I know those are so incredibly hard for the people who suffer with them. But ocd goes after what we value the most and that is why it is so sickening and hard. Sometimes I wish I didn’t live another day because of this disorder, I so desperately don’t want these thoughts to be true.

I know hope u are okay we can get through this