- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
You can choose to love him! Love is a choice. OCD can’t take him from you. Sending positivity and love to you 💜
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Andate I am afraid, that psychiatrist will told me, that is not rocd, and I will have to face the truth.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Andate I will say that not every Psychiatrist is well educated in OCD. I was assessed by an actual OCD specialist (at NOCD) and am confident in their assessment because it’s what they’re focused on. Especially with Pure O (OCD like relationship OCD that are mostly mental), having a specialist is helpful.
- Date posted
- 3y
@LSea2021 When someone is asking me about treatment in their own case of mental health I am always recomending seeing proffesional. But in my own I'm a coward. Ocd seems to be my only hope, that's why I'm that afraid... Sadly, I can't book a visit with NOCD specialist, so I started to looking for someone in my country. But it's hard. There are plenty of psychiatrist, but it's hard to tell if they are good with diagnosing ocd... And yes, my fear is kot helping...
- Date posted
- 3y
@Andate 💜 that sounds really challenging. I think then my best advice is this: if you see yourself in the symptoms of OCD that you’ve read about, then it’s likely that you have it (diagnosis or not). OCD will be looking for that “certainty” that comes from a diagnosis, but even if the certainty is not there you can still take steps to improve your quality of life and mental health. I’m hopeful for you!
- Date posted
- 3y
@LSea2021 Thank you once more. I'm fighting so hard for not lose my partner. Even when my thoughts are telling me that I don't love him, I'm crying, because I want to love him so much and don't want my life without him.
- Date posted
- 3y
You're not alone💜
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much!
- Date posted
- 3y
Love is a choice. A YouTube channel called Awaken into Love would be something I recommend you look into. 💜 keep your chin up 💜
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you! ❤️I'm watching their videos, but sometimes I still feel like spiraling for most of my days..
- Date posted
- 3y
@Andate It's rough, I get those days. On those days I tell myself live is a choice and I tell my head like hey those are interesting thoughts, thank you for bringing those to my attention however I am with them right now and that's what is important.❤
- Date posted
- 3y
@WitchyKota Oh, I will be trying that! I have some good days, when I feel love, some backdoor spike moments and some hard days, when I can only obsessing and crying... It's really hard...
- Date posted
- 3y
@Andate I absolutely understand. I have days where my brain will be so mean to me at night it wakes me up, and times I have to go sit in the shower and just sit with the thoughts. I constantly still ask if my eyes get big when I look at him because there are alot of days I struggle with feeling nothing, and other days I feel love. 💜 any progress is progress 💜 you've fot this!
- Date posted
- 3y
@WitchyKota Thank you! Your words mean a lot to me! I hope you also will find a peace 💜
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I don’t understand how my boyfriend can love me so much after everything I put him through. He constantly shows me how much he loves me, yet I feel like I can’t fully appreciate it. I can’t explain how badly I behave towards him when these thoughts take over, how often I lash out because of them, and how many times I’ve told him exactly what’s on my mind. He tries to use logic to help me, but it never seems to work. And now, even as I’m writing this, I feel like crying—yet at the same time, my mind tells me that I don’t care. This horrible feeling inside me won’t go away. I keep thinking, “What if I don’t like him?” That thought is always there. I wonder if I had unrealistic expectations about this relationship from the beginning, since he is my first boyfriend. What if I convinced myself I liked him just because I wanted my first relationship to be perfect? And now, I just can’t accept the truth? It scares me even more knowing that he moved to my city for me. I feel like I’m constantly upset, constantly sad. And despite everything, he’s always there for me. That makes me feel even worse because I don’t know what to do to feel okay again. Every time I talk to him, I get this strange feeling inside me, and I’m terrified that it means my thoughts are actually true. He tells me that my happiness shouldn’t depend only on him, that I should focus on more than just this relationship—because for over a year now, my mind has been stuck in an endless loop of questioning whether I love him or not. He asks me, “Who are you fighting? Why do you care so much? You’ve been asking yourself the same question for over a year—shouldn’t you know the answer by now?” And my response is always, “Because I want to be with you.” But then, when I try to answer whether I like him or not, more doubts take over. I start thinking, “Maybe I just can’t accept that I don’t love him. Maybe I just want to keep this relationship perfect.” The worst part is that he has never done anything wrong. He has always been patient, kind, and loving, yet I feel so lost. I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t understand what I feel. And I don’t understand why I can’t understand what I feel. He also tells me that ever since I started reading so much about relationships and OCD online, I have gotten worse. And he’s right. I have become much worse than I was before. The problem is that before, I thought I was at my worst, but looking back, I was still able to feel happiness at times. Now, I feel completely stuck. I don’t know if I’m crying because I hate this feeling, or because I don’t want to think this way about him. It feels like I don’t even know what’s happening to me anymore.
- Date posted
- 23w
Ive been struggling with really bad ROCD for a year now and im in the healthiest relationship ive ever had. I cant even go to a therapist because im a medical student and i dont have the money for it yet. My boyfriend is a really decent amazing respectful man and he has been tolerating my re assurance seeking behavior for a long time. And yesterdays fit finally threw him off and he said he isnt scared to loose me anymore because, he wants a life with me but not a life where every action he makes is questioned even when his intentions are always pure. Im always asking him, does he look at other girls does he get horny when he sees a naked woman in a movie to all which he said No. he doesnt because he has never sexualized anyone. He doesnt find anyone else attractive either other than me because hes in love with me and i believe it because i know he is genuine. But i keep asking him questions its draining me out and its draining him too because of me . I am scared that im sabotaging the only good thing i have in my life. I love this man so much. That said theres things i had to constantly ask for too for example instead of just letting me keep asking, give me a heart felt assurance when i start relapsing with the questions and when i start doing better acknowledge it. Because it will make me feel better and ill try even more to sit with the uncertainty of everything and trust him whole heartedly. And that small things matter to me. We have even come to a middle ground when it comes to movies with severely explicit nudity and he already agreed to it (hes a movie nerd). I am constantly on the brink and edge of just giving in to the thoughts and asking him every now and then . But he is so fed up of me he said Its ruining his mental health and that he knows its twice in intensity for me but its not the kind of life he wants with someone he genuinely loves even after trying alot of things for me. Guys please i dont want to loose him. I want someone to be scared of loosing me and i feel like i have taken that away from him. I dont know what to do please . I love him so much. I know he loves me too he told me if i start relapsing he will do his best to provide me with assurance but if it keeps persisting after that it wont work. Because thats not a good life to lead in the future. It has gotten so bad to the point that everytime i have to ask he reacts like hes being held at gun point. And i hate seeing him like that because of me. I cannot handle loosing him. He sound really cold now and its scaring me alot. I need proper help from some of you please just give me some advice.
- Date posted
- 15w
I know it’s long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months I’d say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause it’s been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasn’t communicating how I should have been when I was upset because I’ve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but It’s weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didn’t feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that I’m not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and it’s like that’s the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I don’t care like I used to because I think of how he doesn’t deserve this when he does this or he shouldn’t have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? That’s horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I can’t do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And that’s not how it used to feeel which scares me because I don’t want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause it’s the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. I’m scared. Is it possible I’m just I’ve been mad and resenting how it’s been cause he’s been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I don’t want to stay in something where I don’t feel toward him the way I want to but I really don’t want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesn’t deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question him😭 trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldn’t think like this or feel like this.
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