I hate how the term narcissism became an overused label now. It’s got people like you worrying or used to label someone they dislike. No offense at all btw but to take away your worries narcissism is the most rare of disorders.
Drugs reflect your current state, so if you’re depressed you won’t be happy. I do agree with getting to the bottom of your depression instead of using drugs, you aren’t helping your condition. Hope you get better man, stay strong.