Anyone here have HOCD?

@rile20 , everyday I curse myself for not being as horny as I used to be. And with the confussion that HOCD creates, I find it A LOT harder to be present and enjoy my partner. Sex and attraction has become such a huge stress, it's hell. But we got to remember that it is hard to become aroused and feeling attraction when you're stressed. Thus we shouldn't worry. If we focus on our OCD then our attraction probably will come back with it's decrease.

What do you all think about creating an whatsapp group? I've been thinking about it lately, and if you don't feel comfortable in it, feel free to leave. But I think it would be great for us to talk to people who are going through the same thing. Please let me know!

I just went to dinner and had a waitress that clearly presented lesbian (well it was obvious to me...) and I didn’t like it and I felt uncomfortable but I didn’t really feel anxious. And now I’m thinking what if that’s because I secretly liked her but don’t know it yet. And for some reason it’s mostly with “butch”-ish lesbians and it makes me think what if I actually like them... (I don’t mean any of this to be taken as I judge and hate lesbians or am against gay rights, it just seems like my OCD takes hold of the stereotype.) Why? And always the standard, What If it’s not OCD?

@Leah25 Thank you! Why do we do that to ourselves?! It’s like either way we lose!

I haven’t yet. This only started for me two months ago and I actually just got diagnosed on Monday! Stay strong!

I think I've had hocd for around ten months now, I had some therapy, and my anxiety has weakened, my attraction to the opposite sex comes and goes, and when it is there, my mind tells me I'm faking it? All started for me when a gay bloke came on to me when I was on holiday, I was drunk and I told him to go away! But the next morning I woke up in a complete Mess, and for months afterwards I was as well! I just wish it would go away now. Anyone else worry their attraction will never fully come back?

@rlr Me too. Mine started about two months ago and my boyfriend and I haven’t had sex since. I just get stuck in my head. I want it but I’m just scared. Hopefully we get back to normal soon.

Me and my partner still have sex, but it's not the same, no where near the same! I get anxious every time, as I worry about not performing. I just want my life to go back to normal. Sucks doesn't it, wish I could go back to the day where my life was normal.

@rile20. I think we all wish to go back to normal. Does your partner know what you are going through? Be open, if you can. My boyfriend has been so beyond amazing. I feel so awful sometimes about what I’m putting him through too, but he tells me to focus on myself. I’m so lucky!

@sarahlynn, I did when it first happened, and she didn't understand it at all, even after all the explaining, so I've just let it be, as times gone on my anxiety has weakened, just wish my natural attraction would come back? It's good your partner is offering you all the support you need.

@rile20 My boyfriend finds it hard to understand but is always willing to listen. Try talking to your partner again. She may not be able to understand but she obviously cares a lot about you!

@Leah25 haha well that’s sweet! You’ll find him!

Me!

yes!

Yes!

Unfortunately.

Yep, unfortunately

Does your OCD try to convince you that you like the thoughts and that your actually in denial? I've read stuff where it's like if you like the thoughts your in denial, and etc. Then your OCD says that you like the thoughts. Do any of you guys experience this?

I do experience that. It’s awful! It makes me think I am in denial. I am not sure. I am glad someone is feeling the same way as I am!

You betcha

Me!! I feel that way too

Yep. It's awful.

if h like the thoughts it doesn’t mean you’re in denial, it’s just your ocd messing with your brain. sometimes i don’t know what’s real and what’s fake, it’s really annoying, but just remember that it’s your ocd!

if it’s causing u distress it’s ocd and NOT denial!

I don’t know if it’s ocd anymore, I am self diagnosed. I do have anxiety I know that for sure. But I just don’t know if it’s ocd anymore. Feels way too real

That's exactly what OCD wants you to think

that happens to me too. it feels so real but if it’s causing you distress it isn’t real it’s ocd!

Yeah sounds like a good idea

Yeah sure that sounds like a good idea

Do you think there is a way to have a group-chat without using our actual phone numbers? I’m not sure of all the options out there but I love the idea!:)

Sounds good

I totally feel you @SarahLynn!! That same exact thing happens to me ALL the time too. Our ocd will take a microscopic hint of a neutral thought and weaponize that. Oh, you didn’t feel anxiety? WELL THERE IT IS, there’s your whole sexuality for ya! Oh, you didn’t feel disgusted or repulsed enough when you thought about it? “Yep, there it is”. What even is “disgusted-enough”? What kind of standard is that? Sorry now I’m ranting haha.

Have either of you ever experienced false attractions or false urges before? I'm just wondering because sometimes I feel like it's only me

@SaraLynn Exactly it’s such a gigantic waste of time! And @TheReptileCyka Yep, I think HOCD convinces us of attractions or formulated urges that don’t exist, because how else would it have such a strong hold on us??

Ive been with my gf for 6 years now, and was on holiday together at the time, with friends.

I totally agree, me and my partner don't have sex as much as we used to, and when we do it's not as enjoyable as it used to be, as I'm worried I won't perform, because of my OCD! As I say, my anxiety has weakened over the past few months, but my attraction to the opposite sex hasn't come back totally yet. Do you think this is normal? It's almost like I'm living with it, and I'm not letting it worry me as much, although I still have doubt and confusion, but my attraction isn't fully there! @rasmus

What's normal or not sounds like reassurance, so I think that's something you'll have think about yourself. People do live lives they enjoy during and after their OCD recovery, so let us hope that we'll be our old selfs again soon and be able to enjoy life with our loved ones!!

me too! @rile20 i’d been with my bf for 2 years when it came and we didn’t have sex for months, partly because i couldn’t and then other times bc he couldn’t because i confessed all my ocd feelings to him and made him feel bad and unattractive :/ it first happened to me back in september so it’s been a while and our sex life still isn’t back on track at all. it gives me so much anxiety and i wonder if i ruined the relationship completely

@SarahLynn you’re situation is my hope! I’m not in a relationship, but I really really hope that once I am he’ll understand.

*crossing 4 fingers* thank you:)

I do I do!

Yes!

Yes!

Yeah sounds like a good idea