- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@rile20 , everyday I curse myself for not being as horny as I used to be. And with the confussion that HOCD creates, I find it A LOT harder to be present and enjoy my partner. Sex and attraction has become such a huge stress, it's hell. But we got to remember that it is hard to become aroused and feeling attraction when you're stressed. Thus we shouldn't worry. If we focus on our OCD then our attraction probably will come back with it's decrease.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
What do you all think about creating an whatsapp group? I've been thinking about it lately, and if you don't feel comfortable in it, feel free to leave. But I think it would be great for us to talk to people who are going through the same thing. Please let me know!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I just went to dinner and had a waitress that clearly presented lesbian (well it was obvious to me...) and I didn’t like it and I felt uncomfortable but I didn’t really feel anxious. And now I’m thinking what if that’s because I secretly liked her but don’t know it yet. And for some reason it’s mostly with “butch”-ish lesbians and it makes me think what if I actually like them... (I don’t mean any of this to be taken as I judge and hate lesbians or am against gay rights, it just seems like my OCD takes hold of the stereotype.) Why? And always the standard, What If it’s not OCD?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Leah25 Thank you! Why do we do that to ourselves?! It’s like either way we lose!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I haven’t yet. This only started for me two months ago and I actually just got diagnosed on Monday! Stay strong!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I think I've had hocd for around ten months now, I had some therapy, and my anxiety has weakened, my attraction to the opposite sex comes and goes, and when it is there, my mind tells me I'm faking it? All started for me when a gay bloke came on to me when I was on holiday, I was drunk and I told him to go away! But the next morning I woke up in a complete Mess, and for months afterwards I was as well! I just wish it would go away now. Anyone else worry their attraction will never fully come back?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@rlr Me too. Mine started about two months ago and my boyfriend and I haven’t had sex since. I just get stuck in my head. I want it but I’m just scared. Hopefully we get back to normal soon.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Me and my partner still have sex, but it's not the same, no where near the same! I get anxious every time, as I worry about not performing. I just want my life to go back to normal. Sucks doesn't it, wish I could go back to the day where my life was normal.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@rile20. I think we all wish to go back to normal. Does your partner know what you are going through? Be open, if you can. My boyfriend has been so beyond amazing. I feel so awful sometimes about what I’m putting him through too, but he tells me to focus on myself. I’m so lucky!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@sarahlynn, I did when it first happened, and she didn't understand it at all, even after all the explaining, so I've just let it be, as times gone on my anxiety has weakened, just wish my natural attraction would come back? It's good your partner is offering you all the support you need.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@rile20 My boyfriend finds it hard to understand but is always willing to listen. Try talking to your partner again. She may not be able to understand but she obviously cares a lot about you!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@Leah25 haha well that’s sweet! You’ll find him!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Me!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
yes!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Unfortunately.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yep, unfortunately
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Does your OCD try to convince you that you like the thoughts and that your actually in denial? I've read stuff where it's like if you like the thoughts your in denial, and etc. Then your OCD says that you like the thoughts. Do any of you guys experience this?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I do experience that. It’s awful! It makes me think I am in denial. I am not sure. I am glad someone is feeling the same way as I am!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
You betcha
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Me!! I feel that way too
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yep. It's awful.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
if h like the thoughts it doesn’t mean you’re in denial, it’s just your ocd messing with your brain. sometimes i don’t know what’s real and what’s fake, it’s really annoying, but just remember that it’s your ocd!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
if it’s causing u distress it’s ocd and NOT denial!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I don’t know if it’s ocd anymore, I am self diagnosed. I do have anxiety I know that for sure. But I just don’t know if it’s ocd anymore. Feels way too real
- Date posted
- 6y ago
That's exactly what OCD wants you to think
- Date posted
- 6y ago
that happens to me too. it feels so real but if it’s causing you distress it isn’t real it’s ocd!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yeah sounds like a good idea
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yeah sure that sounds like a good idea
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Do you think there is a way to have a group-chat without using our actual phone numbers? I’m not sure of all the options out there but I love the idea!:)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Sounds good
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I totally feel you @SarahLynn!! That same exact thing happens to me ALL the time too. Our ocd will take a microscopic hint of a neutral thought and weaponize that. Oh, you didn’t feel anxiety? WELL THERE IT IS, there’s your whole sexuality for ya! Oh, you didn’t feel disgusted or repulsed enough when you thought about it? “Yep, there it is”. What even is “disgusted-enough”? What kind of standard is that? Sorry now I’m ranting haha.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Have either of you ever experienced false attractions or false urges before? I'm just wondering because sometimes I feel like it's only me
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@SaraLynn Exactly it’s such a gigantic waste of time! And @TheReptileCyka Yep, I think HOCD convinces us of attractions or formulated urges that don’t exist, because how else would it have such a strong hold on us??
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Ive been with my gf for 6 years now, and was on holiday together at the time, with friends.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I totally agree, me and my partner don't have sex as much as we used to, and when we do it's not as enjoyable as it used to be, as I'm worried I won't perform, because of my OCD! As I say, my anxiety has weakened over the past few months, but my attraction to the opposite sex hasn't come back totally yet. Do you think this is normal? It's almost like I'm living with it, and I'm not letting it worry me as much, although I still have doubt and confusion, but my attraction isn't fully there! @rasmus
- Date posted
- 6y ago
What's normal or not sounds like reassurance, so I think that's something you'll have think about yourself. People do live lives they enjoy during and after their OCD recovery, so let us hope that we'll be our old selfs again soon and be able to enjoy life with our loved ones!!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
me too! @rile20 i’d been with my bf for 2 years when it came and we didn’t have sex for months, partly because i couldn’t and then other times bc he couldn’t because i confessed all my ocd feelings to him and made him feel bad and unattractive :/ it first happened to me back in september so it’s been a while and our sex life still isn’t back on track at all. it gives me so much anxiety and i wonder if i ruined the relationship completely
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@SarahLynn you’re situation is my hope! I’m not in a relationship, but I really really hope that once I am he’ll understand.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
*crossing 4 fingers* thank you:)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I do I do!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yeah sounds like a good idea
Related posts
- Date posted
- 11w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- OCD newbies
- Students with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Like I'm always like I need to test if I'd feel aroused to intimate scenarios with S, lately im trying to fight this urge to test and test but my mind is like "just do it this once so you can be sure. I can never watch anything romantic or sexual or whatever because my mind would be like "you and S" or sometimes I'm just enjoying time with my bf and im like " yes we can just have a sneaky cheating thing thats ok" and it makes me want to figure it out to find an answer a solution because idk it just does like I need to find the meaning of it if it means the truth and all. Im worried im just an awful person and these thoughts just ruin my quality of life . Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Now i keep groing everytime and I dont know why but i have this sensation and I dont want to havebit especially when its something S related. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? What should i do?
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond